Anonymous wrote:We got into a fight. I was out of line in how I approached him. Now it's five days and he still refuses to talk to me. I am really struggling. I have a therapist appointment for Wednesday, but I really need someone to talk to.

He is ridiculous 5 days come now. He is acting like a child.

I'm trying to make a couples' counseling appointment.

The silent treatment, especially for days at a time, is abusive.

First I withdrew/shut down. Then I got upset and yelled/accused. No cheating.

We need to know what you did to determine if you were truly out of line or if he has abused you and gaslit you enough that you are blaming yourself for something he is equally or more responsible for.

Silent treatment is abuse, I would not be able to live with someone like that. A few hours to cool off is ok. 5 days? Not ok.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm guessing you weren't actually out of line.

What does this mean?

The kind of thing that could explain a five day silence are like, an announcement that you cheated on him. Short of that, this just demonstrates that he is volatile emotionally.

I’m guessing that there are a lot of issues going on here. Either what happened was seriously awful, OP’s husband is a real jerk or there is a big backstory. Regardless this doesn’t sound like a marriage that is going to last.

He's demonstrating how he attempts to cope with conflict. I'd demonstrate how I cope and leave town for a week or two. Maybe the Bahamas?

Anonymous wrote:I'm guessing you weren't actually out of line.

What does this mean?

What a child. Does he do this often? I would not be able to live with someone who gives me the silent treatment.

I'm guessing you weren't actually out of line.

Did you post earlier?

I’m sorry. Couples fight and people make mistakes. The silent treatment, which is exactly what he’s doing, is absolutely unacceptable. There is no justification for this.

Is there a friend or family member you can visit? Go out to a movie or a coffee shop. Go to the gym. Just get out of there.

The silent treatment is not OK. How old are you both? Have you discussed that the silent treatment is not OK?

Have you taken responsibility for your out of line behavior, apologized sincerely, and asked your husband what you can do to make amends?

We got into a fight. I was out of line in how I approached him. Now it's five days and he still refuses to talk to me. I am really struggling. I have a therapist appointment for Wednesday, but I really need someone to talk to.