Social media is toxic. Taking that addiction with you to college doesn't change that fact.

DD, 13, has time limits and ipad is placed in bedroom and powered off at 8:45pm weekdays, 9:30pm weekends. Family works in tech so we have had very in-depth conversations re: social media, specific apps, and we don't allow child to post.

For example, DH once hacked into older cousin's social media -- with her permission -- to illustrate the need for privacy settings etc. and to help DD's friends understand how easy it is for people to track you if not diligent.

The reality is a savvy kid can find workarounds if so compelled as parental safeguards are helpful but not foolproof. We hope that engaging our child directly in conversations as to the pros and cons as well as the addictive nature of algorithms and how companies seek to financially benefit from their social
media usage will help her make healthy, well-informed decisions as she gets older and we loosen restrictions.

We made them watch ScreenAger.m My kids live real lives, not toxic fake social media ones.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We do not allow TikTok.

Plus, we constantly trash it, point out how BOTH parties overwhelmingly voted to ban TikTok, make fun of the losers who use TikTok.

My kids have gotten the message. Not worried about after they leave.

Oh sweet summer child.

+1 this generation’s social life is intimately intertwined with the digital world. Rather than trashing specific apps and disparaging those who use them why not use it a learning opportunity? Pull it up and go through it. Talk with them about the algos that drive them and the business behind them. Show examples of potential pitfalls and sticky situations and how they might handle it. Not just clips of body shaming, bullying, or dangerous activities done for clout but how they would respond if they encountered specific issues…how to control privacy settings and awareness about what they will see, who they might encounter, how what they display and say might have long lasting consequences.

Ask yourself if DS or DD found themselves in a tough situation where they and some friends posted a video on tik tok after a particularly fun night would they feel comfortable coming to you for help?

I know times have changed a little, but I have 2 college students and by the time they reached high school, I did not restrict social media except to have time/room limits to their phones (plug phones in downstairs before bed).

They are both well adjusted college students that do not abuse their phones.

But there was a several month phase where one of my kids really went crazy on fortnight - playing way too much but he ended up self regulating and now is much more controlled. My strategy is let them learn to self-regulate but I get that is different from what others like and are comfortable doing.

Anonymous wrote:My teens have social media, but they have a time limit.

When they go to college we will lift the time limit but tell them if they want us to put it back during study sessions we can.

This is insane. In college???

TikTok is going away anyway so doesn't matter.

Are you people really trying to restrict social media for your adult children in college?

Anonymous wrote:We do not allow TikTok.

Plus, we constantly trash it, point out how BOTH parties overwhelmingly voted to ban TikTok, make fun of the losers who use TikTok.

My kids have gotten the message. Not worried about after they leave.

Oh sweet summer child.

What is there to do? You can’t tell an 18 yr old what websites they are allowed to access

We do not allow TikTok.

Plus, we constantly trash it, point out how BOTH parties overwhelmingly voted to ban TikTok, make fun of the losers who use TikTok.

My kids have gotten the message. Not worried about after they leave.

You could substitute the topic of “restrict social media” for “sex” after they leave for college, and ask this same question.

Or marijuana.

My teens have social media, but they have a time limit.

When they go to college we will lift the time limit but tell them if they want us to put it back during study sessions we can.

Community college and live at home. Phone is in the kitchen as soon as they get home.

I restricted up to age 16, then it’s up to them. My 16.5 year old is not interested. My 13 year old is chomping at the bit, but will have to wait.

What do you plan to do when they leave for college?