Anonymous wrote:Well, you allow your daughter to post pics of herself in dresses so this can hardly seem as shocking as you're making it out to be.

+1

Anonymous wrote:My DD is like this, and I'm frugal, so I get your pain. But with her peer group constantly wearing new things, I understood her feelings. We found a couple ways to make us both happy. First, she has a few cute tops and skirts that she can mix and match to make a "new" outfit from the same clothes. She also shares clothes with friends which also makes something seem new (again) when the friend returns it. She's good about scouring sales and Amazon for inexpensive dresses. Finally, she works and relatives often give her $ gifts, so she can use her own money.

OP here. Thanks for commiserating. These are all great suggestions.

My DD is like this, and I'm frugal, so I get your pain. But with her peer group constantly wearing new things, I understood her feelings. We found a couple ways to make us both happy. First, she has a few cute tops and skirts that she can mix and match to make a "new" outfit from the same clothes. She also shares clothes with friends which also makes something seem new (again) when the friend returns it. She's good about scouring sales and Amazon for inexpensive dresses. Finally, she works and relatives often give her $ gifts, so she can use her own money.

Anonymous wrote:

You are going to get a lot of responses about allowing social media, natch. Give her a clothing budget and take her to a few nice thrift stores- it is fun to have something new (to her) to wear for special events. There are very few events special enough to pay retail.

Yeah, with a kid who wants lots of clothing and lots of choice, a set budget is great because they can take $100 to the thrift store and get up to 20 dresses with discounts for donating or they can go to the mall and hope to get one dress. Just teach then to be careful about things that are "dry clean only" since that can eat into the budget quickly.

You are going to get a lot of responses about allowing social media, natch. Give her a clothing budget and take her to a few nice thrift stores- it is fun to have something new (to her) to wear for special events. There are very few events special enough to pay retail.

OP here. She is willing to buy some of the dresses herself. She has a PT job. I told her it was her choice but I think it’s wasteful. She wore the dress once to a family event 6 months ago (but posted it) and now this is a school event coming up.

Is this an occasion like going to mass every week or an occasion like attending a bat mitzvah? If it’s the latter and she’s 13/14, I kind of agree with her because it’s such short special phase in life. I grew up with very little money but somehow my mom was willing to help me hunt down different outfits for each bar and bat mitzvah at Marshall’s and TJ Maxx and it was the only time of my life I remember feeling like I looked good and could enjoy myself.

I’m not a clotheshorse now and basically had 2 dresses for all the weddings I attended in my 20s, so I don’t think briefly indulging this is going to set her up for a life of indulgence.

If she’s 15/16 and old enough to work, I have a different answer and can offer suggestions for potential summer jobs.

My teens are the rare ones uninterested in social media, but my daughter would still wear any number of dresses if I bought them for her! Who wouldn't?

Just keep it to a reasonable number according to your budget and the space in her closet.

Time for her to get a job.

Anonymous wrote:Well, you allow your daughter to post pics of herself in dresses so this can hardly seem as shocking as you're making it out to be.

How many 17 year olds do you know not posting things? Just curious. I don’t know any.

* because she posted a pic of the dress

It's become posted a pic of the dress.

Tell her to keep it to headshots and you'll save on new dresses.

Well, you allow your daughter to post pics of herself in dresses so this can hardly seem as shocking as you're making it out to be.

Stick to your guns. My daughter is a maximalist and I'm really trying to hold my ground. She just bought her fourth pair of jeans. I have one.

When I ask why she can’t wear “the blue one” we just got and she’s worn once, she says “I already posted that one!”

Is this actually a thing? I told her I am not buying disposable, one-wear dresses. She is usually pretty reasonable so this came as a shock to me. She agreed but acted really disappointed. This is clearly coming from the peer group which is irritating.