I can stay with her without sex but I will find someone on the side for sex.

I’m sorry but once you take sex away all the other fun stuff follows, flirting, teasing innuendo, glances, brushes against each other in the hallway, it all goes out the window and pretty soon you’re just roommates.
I don’t care
I wouldn’t care who my roommate has sex with and neither should they.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Given how men are always whining in the relationship forum about their sexless marriages, clearly lots of them will stay. Maybe the vast majority.

A sexless marriage often features *some* sex. Perhaps several times per year. And there is often the hope that things will get better. Sometimes they do.

But if a healthy spouse declared that sex would 100% never happen again, the vast majority of men would cheat or openly leave.

Maybe. If that were the case then you would expect men to hire for a much higher percentage of divorces, not the 30% they currently do. I think most men get way too many benefits in the form of emotional labor, household work, free cook/cleaner/appointment maker/childcare, social connections, etc, to actually leave, even if they do kick up a huge stink about it. They know that they have it too good in marriage to actually walk away, despite whining 24/7

This is the 13th month since I last had sex. I am divorced. I am 48. Do I have urges? Sure. I am going to die? No. Will I have sex again? Yes. When? I don't know and I don't care

Anonymous wrote:Given how men are always whining in the relationship forum about their sexless marriages, clearly lots of them will stay. Maybe the vast majority.

A sexless marriage often features *some* sex. Perhaps several times per year. And there is often the hope that things will get better. Sometimes they do.

But if a healthy spouse declared that sex would 100% never happen again, the vast majority of men would cheat or openly leave.

My DH is the one with no interest in it. Haven’t done it in many years. I didn’t leave because pretty much everything else is perfect. If it weren’t, I would have left.

Given how men are always whining in the relationship forum about their sexless marriages, clearly lots of them will stay. Maybe the vast majority.

I'm a woman and I would also not stay with zero sex.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If my wife woke up tomorrow and said no more sex, I would leave or just start dating.

What if she physically couldn’t?

It blows my mind that a man can love and admire everything about a woman - her looks, her mind, her job, her thoughts, her voice - but if she can’t have sex, it’s over.

Way to move the goalposts.

Did you read the OP? That is what the book is about.

Lots of men do, regardless of what they may claim.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If my wife woke up tomorrow and said no more sex, I would leave or just start dating.

What if she physically couldn’t?

It blows my mind that a man can love and admire everything about a woman - her looks, her mind, her job, her thoughts, her voice - but if she can’t have sex, it’s over.

Way to move the goalposts.

Anonymous wrote:If my wife woke up tomorrow and said no more sex, I would leave or just start dating.

+1

Duh

Anonymous wrote:If my wife woke up tomorrow and said no more sex, I would leave or just start dating.

What if she physically couldn’t?

It blows my mind that a man can love and admire everything about a woman - her looks, her mind, her job, her thoughts, her voice - but if she can’t have sex, it’s over.

If my wife woke up tomorrow and said no more sex, I would leave or just start dating.

** Spoilers for the book Intermezzo by Sally Rooney **


So part of the plot is this guy is deeply in love with his college gf. They are now in their early thirties. She was in a very bad car accident in their twenties, which leaves her with chronic pain for the rest of her life. She can no longer have penetrative sex and other sex acts are difficult as well (like blow jobs). Again, her pain is very bad and affects her on a daily basis etc. She is described as being very frail and walking like an old woman.

Her bf, the main character, initially wants to stay together, but she pushes him away because she knows he can’t live without frequent, high quality sex, which she can no longer provide. The best she can do is a hand job. He eventually gets together with another girl who he does have a good sex life with. But he’s still emotionally hung up on the first girl. He tries to get back together with her after his dad dies and he sees her at the funeral but he realizes he can’t be exclusive with someone he’s not having sex with. They end up in a thrupple with the other woman, which strikes me as highly unrealistic (!) and a cop out but never mind that.

Anyway, to the point of the book, do you think it’s true that most men cannot live without frequent penetrative sex and would leave someone they love over this?

I’m curious as to what men think of this. All of the reviewers are saying the author “nailed” the male mind and voice.