Anonymous wrote:Op here
1. Upkeep was a typo, not even sure how it got there
2. I am dds mom
3. I am 1000 percent sure she will want to abort
4. I just want to do the right thing and not say or do the wrong things so looking for someone who went through this to guide me

If she was 1000 percent going to choose that she would have done so already

Are you monitoring her tampon usage? Like seriously why do you think thus?

I don't know how sure you are that she's pregnant. Obviously if you are 100% sure then you might want to proceed differently than if you think it's possible not probable. However, this is one thought I had.

My Dad, who was a pretty conservative Christian man had a conversation with me every six months through my teenage years where he said to me basically

"I know you know that my hope is that you will remain a virgin until marriage. But if you decide otherwise, and I find out, while I might be disappointed I won't be angry, and it won't change how I feel about you. However, if I found out that you got pregnant, and that you didn't give me the opportunity to support you as you made your choice, and be with you and offer you help with whatever choice you made, I would be devastated. So, please know, that if you ever find yourself with an unplanned pregnancy that I am a safe person to come to and we will figure it out together, because I love you and I wouldn't want you to be alone with that."

It was a powerful message, and while I didn't ever need it it's something I remember.

I only have sons, and I say basically the same thing to them, although I tell them I hope they will stay virgins until they are high school graduates rather than married, and I tell them that I would be devastated if I learned that they got someone pregnant and didn't stand by and support that woman in whatever choice she made, and that I hope that they would give me the opportunity to help them if they are in that situation. I started saying this when my kids were like 13 and I was confident they were not at that point doing anything that would lead to an unplanned pregnancy."

If I suspected one of my sons had gotten someone pregnant, I'd probably use this moment to say the same thing. If I was relatively confident, I might add -- I am seeing these signs (e.g. a positive pregnancy test in the trash can, or the following things in your search history, or overhearing a conversation . . . ), is there anything I need to know?

Your question is a little unclear but are you the relative of a teen girl you think might be pregnant? I would ask. Denial is powerful and it’s possible she is or might be but just isn’t dealing with it. Obviously the earlier you know the better!

And for the person asking about being pro choice or pro abortion- save it. Most teenagers are not ready to be parents. No one can force her to get an abortion but there are a lot of reasons that it probably makes sense.

OP- if you’re in the DC area obviously abortion is legal. Find out if there’s a pregnancy. She’ll need to see a doctor ASAP but home test is pretty accurate. A doctor will be able to give options. An early pregnancy is usually terminated with medicine and happens at home. I had one at 12 weeks and it was surgical. It meant going in one afternoon and the doctor inserting something into my cervix. They sent me home and I went back the next day for the procedure. I was knocked out. It was quick. My BF drove me home and I had very light bleeding for a few days, no sex for something like 6 weeks. That was many years ago; I’m not sure if the process has changed.

Be open and kind with her. Let her know you will figure this out together.

Once the dust has settled, get her on birth control.

And maybe she should take a break from dating/sex. If you aren’t a responsible enough to have safe sex, you shouldn’t be having sex. (Assuming the pregnancy was from a consensual encounter.)

I've had 4 natural first trimester miscarriages (of wanted babies). It's easier the earlier they happen, so if you suspect, PLEASE DON'T WAIT. Gently broach the conversation. Otherwise she will suffer needlessly. There are only a certain number of weeks available for her to receive a pill, after that it's surgery and the risks increase significantly.

Ask the OB if she needs to double check with an ultrasound that it's not an ectopic pregnancy. If Your daughter is in pain down there and also has pain in her shoulder, that's an ectopic emergency and she needs the ER at once.

A mifepristone pill would be best for scheduling a miscarriage, that way she'll know when it happens and you can help her manage her pain and discomfort (OTC pain relievers and heating pads). Having never given birth before, she might be surprised by the contractions. Or not. Most of my miscarriages were no worse than bad periods, but then I've given birth without pain meds, so maybe my pain tolerance is high. If she bleeds more than one maxi pad's worth in an hour, or has large egg-size blood clots, or is in terrible pain, bring her to the ER.

Good luck, OP and DD.

This is not something to wait on. Just layout whatever support and resources you’re willing to provide. If she doesn’t want what you’re offering, she can just say nothing.

wtf is Making you suspect that?

Op here
1. Upkeep was a typo, not even sure how it got there
2. I am dds mom
3. I am 1000 percent sure she will want to abort
4. I just want to do the right thing and not say or do the wrong things so looking for someone who went through this to guide me

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand the question, because the word upkeep isn't making sense to me.

Are you the parent of one of the teens? Which one? Are you another relative?

Also, are you prochoice, meaning that you believe the choice is the young woman's to make and you will support her in whatever choice she makes including abortion, parenting or adoption? Or are you proabortion, and want advice on how to override whatever choice the young woman might be inclined to make and pressure her to abort?

This.

If OP’s DD is hiding a pregnancy from a mom whose only acceptable outcome is abortion, she might be trying to run out the clock.

Op means upcoming

I don't understand the question, because the word upkeep isn't making sense to me.

Are you the parent of one of the teens? Which one? Are you another relative?

Also, are you prochoice, meaning that you believe the choice is the young woman's to make and you will support her in whatever choice she makes including abortion, parenting or adoption? Or are you proabortion, and want advice on how to override whatever choice the young woman might be inclined to make and pressure her to abort?

I’m not sure i would wait. I’d want to make the options very clear asap. Whatever those may be.

Op here ignore the “upkeep”

I have a hunch and waiting for her to come and tell me but want to be prepared to help and do it right
Pro choice here so please be kind and only share if you were able to help terminate and did things right or learnt any lessons