Option D OP. Go in the garage and play basketball with your kids. Spend some quality time WITH them. This keeps them off electronics, gives you some special time with your kids, keeps their skills sharp, and keeps them having fun.

Same struggle here OP. For my youngest I don’t worry about this at all because he’s early elementary and frankly not as athletic. He likes sports but I don’t see him moving to a more serious level for quite a while if ever. He isn’t one of those kids that is likely to want/need more intensity anytime soon. My oldest is upper ES, naturally pretty athletic and likes a more serious/intense environment. He does travel/select for two different sports, with one more serious than the other. The coach of the serious one feels he has the potential to play at an elite level if he works for it. Coach wants and expects them to work on skills outside of practice. My son says that he does want to aim for the higher level but when it comes time for individual practice is not very interested. I try to remind him of the coach’s expectations for the team.m, but I figure he will either start to internalize this and want to practice more, or not. I think if it starts affecting playing time he might. Only time will tell. Some kids are very intense from a young age. I don’t know whether that’s how it has to be nowadays in order to succeed or whether those kids are on a path to burn out faster.

elementary school? you sound like a parent that is going to kill sports for your kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You cannot force it. Either they want it and will do it or they will not

This. I have two kids, one of each kind. They are what they are.

Yep same.

Also OP- at the elementary school age level, there is probably a lot more value in playing a different sport in the off-season (rec is fine) or focusing on being physically active in general- than spending time honing skills in their main sport. General athleticism matters a lot in the long run. Also prevents burnout in the main sport. The overall picture and their likes/motivations will become clearer around middle school (usually).

I have three high school athletes. I've found that the sports where I have to push them to train individually haven't been the ones that they stuck with and love. They liked those things just fine, and enjoyed playing with a team, but the sports they loved...which didn't happen until middle school or high school...I don't have to bug them to practice, they are doing it on their own.

Sorry for typos. I had 5 minutes before school pickup.

Op here.
Ok, after typing up “don’t tell em to relax” in my op.. I did think … I need to relax.

So here’s my deep thought on this.
Option A, which I’m avoiding, push too hard, mandate practicing, isn’t having fun, they get annoyed and want to give up
Option B, kid doesn’t improve. Sees other kids who play a little pickup improve. Isn’t having fun because they lag behind (I’ve seen my kids be in this place during games*). They get annoyed and want to give up.

In either case, I see them giving up.

Option C is what I’m trying—give them all the time, opportunity, fun requests, tools like the hoop in the garage. But if they don’t see the small privilege they have, if they don’t learn that it takes effort, that it’s not magical, and don’t believe these other kids are playing some pickup ball or shooting hoops…. We’re back at Option B.

My 12yo loves soccer and basketball too. If I told her she had to practice 10 mins a day though it wouldn’t go well.
She kicks the ball around sometimes and will shoot hoops when she feels like it. But if I mandated it, it would be a battle, I’m not looking to create more friction in our relationship. She also has ADHD and I pick my battles

I do think they have to want to do it, but try to make sure you are keeping it light and fun when you play with them at home when they are little. When my kids were in elementary, they would play horse or whatever with me because it was 90% goofing off but they would always say no to my dh when he asked them to shoot hoops. I think it was because he took it too seriously, they didn’t have fun.

Anonymous wrote:You cannot force it. Either they want it and will do it or they will not

This. I have two kids, one of each kind. They are what they are.

You cannot force it. Either they want it and will do it or they will not

They have to “want” to be better. Some kids are competitive by nature, other’s are not. As your kids get older, they will become aware of the kids who make a travel/more elite team. This can be a motivator.

They are in elementary school. Leave them alone and let them enjoy their activities.

tl;dr
Do kids have to WANT to occasionally practice? And only those kids who want to...will advance long enough to stick with the game past 5th grade?

OR

Do some kids need to be taught the idea that you do need to practice at home?
Are there ways that you encourage your kids, even when they procrastinate / and constantly put off the idea of individual practice?

Long, but I'm venting my feelings.

Context: We’re not chasing hoop dreams or World Cup ambitions here. I just know how much I personally benefited from playing high school-level sports. They taught me fitness, social skills, time management, effort. It wasn’t about scholarships but about growth and having opportunities, probably benefiting my college admission. A life skill. At my age, I can jump into any fitness routine or program. I love the feeling of running and playing soccer or working on my own basketball skills with my ES kids (I'm not a natural). And this is all due to my experiences. Alternatively, I have friends or family that didn't have fitness as far as rec or high school, and it's a burden for them to move, try new classes, they don't have the patience to see themselves get better at anything.

We have two elementary-aged boys—one plays soccer, the other basketball. Both are adamant that they love their sports. Here’s the challenge: they don’t believe me when I occasionally talk about the value of practicing individual skills outside of team practice. From my experience, team practice alone isn’t where you sharpen your personal skills. That happens on your own time. (We also have an older girl, it's the same with her, but as she's heading toward high school, she's expanding her interests, independent fitness, takes dance classes, and I'm not worried.)

I’m not asking them to be the best players. I just want them to enjoy the game more by improving—keeping up with the team or just seeing personal progress from one season to the next. It’s more FUN when you feel yourself getting better, getting mildly appreciated on the team, having a little more ball time. To me, practicing and improving is the best part.

I’m trying to encourage 5-10 minutes of skill-building a day: shooting hoops in our warm garage where we have a hoop, dribbling around in the yard, or kicking the soccer ball around with me (when it’s not freezing). I'm met with: "tomorrow, mom." I don't think they see how every day is "tomorrow," all season.

My soccer player is off-season and plays on a team that loses a lot, though they're only a degree short of some of the other teams. Spring is coming, and he could use this time to work on his skills and come back stronger. When it's cold, we do have a basement that's good to practice in.
My basketball player is mid-season, on a team that’s absolutely dominating. He’s the youngest on the team, and no one expects him to be an all-star. But his teammates are trying to pass him the ball in easy moments when they're ahead. Every game he has had some cool moments of a good steal, or a good moment at practice. But, he doesn’t always put his head up to catch the ball during those chances. At home, he’s actually really good—but that confidence isn’t transferring to the court. And maybe focus/ADHD/a lot going on at game time.

It’s frustrating because they say they love these sports, but I can’t seem to convince them that a little individual practice could make a---fun---difference. I’m not looking for perfection, just small steps toward improvement.

What are your thoughts? And, I'd say the advice isn't "relax" because I keep this in. This pretty much in my inner thoughts. The most my boys know this is a mild suggestion, "you wanna play out in the garage with me? No? Ok." And maybe, monthly "hey, coach doesn't have time to work on your dribbling, he's focused on teamwork, maybe it's good to practice out in the yard" on a beautiful day. I know they'll be fine. I'm not worried, but I'd love to get through these individual practice barriers.....