Anonymous
Post 01/05/2025 17:14     Subject: Re:If you and your in laws are in the dmv
I live 30 minutes from MIL. She works full-time, and so do we, so we only see her about three times a month. I talk to her on the phone probably twice a week, and so does DH.
Anonymous
Post 01/05/2025 15:41     Subject: If you and your in laws are in the dmv
Divorced and both remarried. Both 25 mins away. See MIL 3-4x a year for holidays. See FIL 1-2x a year. Neither babysat. Kids in college now. We made our own plans and were/re closer to my family. My DH prefers my parents.
Anonymous
Post 01/05/2025 15:29     Subject: If you and your in laws are in the dmv
25 mins away. We see them every week!
Anonymous
Post 01/05/2025 15:18     Subject: If you and your in laws are in the dmv
OP here. My inlaws never baby sat when I needed help. Always had excuses. But mil baby sat her own daughters kids all these years. She never made any effort to form a relationship with my kids even when we visited her every week. The entire time we were there she would just talk to my DH and discuss her own issues. So it was terrible. She treated my kids and I as if we were invisible and now she blames the 20 min drive and me for her lack of relationship with my kids.
Anonymous
Post 01/05/2025 14:28     Subject: If you and your in laws are in the dmv
About 30 minutes without traffic, but during rush hour it can take forever. My in-laws are great, but we’re all busy and only manage to do weekend dinner every 6-8 weeks. But they’re happy to babysit or dog sit as long as they’re in town, and since school is equidistant between houses, my MIL does school pickup a few times a month.
Anonymous
Post 01/05/2025 14:22     Subject: If you and your in laws are in the dmv
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here. We live 20 mins from my inlaws and used to visit every week before things went sour. Now my mil constantly complains that since we live so ‘far’ away she doesn’t have a relationship with my kids and it’s because of me (dil) otherwise her son would never choose to live so far away from his mother. We have been married 26 years..


Do you still live 20 minutes away or moved?
How old are your kids?


Still 20 mins away. Kids are older now.. 22, 20, and 2 middle schoolers


Let your DH take the middle schoolers and visit his mom.
Anonymous
Post 01/05/2025 13:58     Subject: Re:If you and your in laws are in the dmv
Anonymous wrote:A less than 5 minute car ride. We had rquired Sunday night dinners with them every single week for many years. But they never, ever babysat, not once. They did, however, require that my children stay at their house when they wanted it, without us. I found that bizarre. They are horrible people who treated me so badly that I finally just said, "enough." Ended the dinners, and now I see them about 4 times a year. My spouse sees and talks to them more, and I made sure my kids maintain a nice, respectful relationship with them. But they are awful and I hate them.


Ew. I have co inlaws [divorced] that don't help at all. My DC is treated badly but so is the spouse . So we and my other kids do same sort of little acts of kindness they do for each other or our GC. We see that family with very young GC [20 minutes+distance]at least once per week - plus have done full time child care. Coincides with supplemental childcare needs at their house.

Later OP posted kids are teens, young adult, middle school. Those ages all have schedules from school etc.
Anonymous
Post 01/05/2025 12:58     Subject: If you and your in laws are in the dmv
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here. We live 20 mins from my inlaws and used to visit every week before things went sour. Now my mil constantly complains that since we live so ‘far’ away she doesn’t have a relationship with my kids and it’s because of me (dil) otherwise her son would never choose to live so far away from his mother. We have been married 26 years..


Do you still live 20 minutes away or moved?
How old are your kids?


Still 20 mins away. Kids are older now.. 22, 20, and 2 middle schoolers
Anonymous
Post 01/05/2025 12:57     Subject: Re:If you and your in laws are in the dmv
A less than 5 minute car ride. We had rquired Sunday night dinners with them every single week for many years. But they never, ever babysat, not once. They did, however, require that my children stay at their house when they wanted it, without us. I found that bizarre. They are horrible people who treated me so badly that I finally just said, "enough." Ended the dinners, and now I see them about 4 times a year. My spouse sees and talks to them more, and I made sure my kids maintain a nice, respectful relationship with them. But they are awful and I hate them.
Anonymous
Post 01/05/2025 12:54     Subject: If you and your in laws are in the dmv
We live about an hour away. See them about once a month. They usually come to our place unless they’re hosting a broader family get together or something for the holidays.
Anonymous
Post 01/05/2025 12:45     Subject: If you and your in laws are in the dmv
We live 15 minutes away from the ILs. We see them maybe once every 4-6 weeks or so, a meal (outside of the holidays) maybe once every three months or so. It was more frequent when the kids were little, but now they’re teenagers and their weekends are busy with sports etc.
Anonymous
Post 01/05/2025 11:54     Subject: If you and your in laws are in the dmv
Anonymous wrote:OP here. We live 20 mins from my inlaws and used to visit every week before things went sour. Now my mil constantly complains that since we live so ‘far’ away she doesn’t have a relationship with my kids and it’s because of me (dil) otherwise her son would never choose to live so far away from his mother. We have been married 26 years..


Do you still live 20 minutes away or moved?
How old are your kids?

Anonymous
Post 01/05/2025 11:35     Subject: If you and your in laws are in the dmv
OP here. We live 20 mins from my inlaws and used to visit every week before things went sour. Now my mil constantly complains that since we live so ‘far’ away she doesn’t have a relationship with my kids and it’s because of me (dil) otherwise her son would never choose to live so far away from his mother. We have been married 26 years..
Anonymous
Post 01/05/2025 11:10     Subject: If you and your in laws are in the dmv
10 minutes away. Dinner maybe 2x a month. They aren’t the lovey dovey involved type.
Anonymous
Post 01/05/2025 10:27     Subject: If you and your in laws are in the dmv
If you and your inlaws both live in the same area (example the dmv) .. how far do you live from each other? How often do you see them? How often do you visit and how often do they visit? Thanks