Anonymous wrote:I’m engaged and getting married right after I turn 33. I feel so old compared to others. I feel like we will have to go right into having kids instead of enjoying marriage. Is this a normal feeling?

Marry someone older than you and feel younger.

Anonymous wrote:I’m engaged and getting married right after I turn 33. I feel so old compared to others. I feel like we will have to go right into having kids instead of enjoying marriage. Is this a normal feeling?

Think about how old you want to be when your youngest kid is 18.

I have a friend with an Indian background who was considered over the hill at 28. I was also considered my own kids "grandma" by a younger woman when I went with them to the Maryland coast in my early 40s.

It all depends on where you live. If you're in the top earning places, the average first time mom is around 37 (this has likely gotten older).

It depends on your circle, OP. I was the outlier. I got married at 23 and had my first at 25, while in grad school. My cousins are nearly all unmarried, and they either have no kids or started having kids in their late 30s - like 37. In the DC area, I am always the youngest, by far, of any school or college parent gathering.

You will fit right in! Congratulations on your engagement.

Go to Shady Grove and get an evaluation. If all levels are good wait a year or two if you would like. I’d start TTC by ~35 because I have been through IVF and it’s a hard thing to go through.

Shoulda got that MRS oh well

No infertility or Ivf.

Married 28 and waited until 35 & 38 to have kids. Easy, uncomplicated, pregnant right away.

I had my first kid at 37 after 10 years of marriage. I did have almost 2 years of light infertility investigation before I got pregnant. That was a scary time. 2nd kid at 39 with no intervention. My sister had IVF for kid 1 and a natural conception for kid 2.

I would say to do as you think best with the understanding that infertility treatment is a risk. It's upsetting and expensive. Most who end up getting it would recommend starting earlier.

Anonymous wrote:Good lord. Are you typing from 1950? I had my first child at 39 and the second at 42. It's fine. Live your life.

No but even on here many women are pushed for kids as soon as possible because fertility declines at a certain age.

It’s up to you, your 20’s are over so no going back. If you want kids while you’re young-ish, sounds like you will need to do it right away. But some women wait and don’t have any problem later.

I married at 32 and had my only at 41. Most of the other parents in our circle had kids around the same age. You are fine.

Good lord. Are you typing from 1950? I had my first child at 39 and the second at 42. It's fine. Live your life.

I was married at 25 and didn't have kids until I was 35 and 39. I'm 56 now and no regrets. You don't have to feel rushed at 33.

This is a dumb thing to worry about.

I’m engaged and getting married right after I turn 33. I feel so old compared to others. I feel like we will have to go right into having kids instead of enjoying marriage. Is this a normal feeling?