This makes no sense. You should have picked a place without a move in fee.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Take the POA to your parent’s bank and get yourself added to their checking account. The bank will give you checks that you can use.

Ha! Maybe after 6 months of sustained fighting! No, work with your parents to write these checks to each of you for now and also start working with the bank to establish your ability to transact on their accounts. Do you have diagnosis letters from doctors stating your parents are incapacitated and unlikely to improve? If not, get them now.

Why did you pay upfront? This is a bad plan going forward. Set things up to auto pay from checking and don’t be reimbursing yourself except for small expenses like clothing.

I agree. Banks can be incredibly difficult to work with, even with POA in hand.

Anonymous wrote:Thanks, everyone. I was trying to avoid bringing in a CFA and attorney, but you've convinced me that we must.

We paid the large bill upfront because they needed to move quickly.

Make sure the CFA is fee based and the attorney is a CELA (certified elder law attorney). Your situation is not so complicated that this will be a major expense, but given your parents’ ages, the way you paid the fees, and what they will have left, it’s worth spending a little to have a good plan.

Thanks, everyone. I was trying to avoid bringing in a CFA and attorney, but you've convinced me that we must.

We paid the large bill upfront because they needed to move quickly.

You really need to talk to a CFA and an elder law attorney ASAP. There are too many pitfalls and you need to plan for the remaining capital to generate more income than sitting in Vanguard.

Too bad his funds were not used instead. You don’t want to mess with any future Medicaid needs and they will look back on transactions. Not an expert and you need to ask a lawyer, but this was a family loan and repayment (not a gift either direction) and it could be a good idea to document it as such with the minimum market interest stipulated by IRS. Everyone signs. Either that or see if place will reimburse you and take his funds directly. That could work.

If your father is willing/able, get on the phone with him to Vanguard next week, have them sell whatever shares are necessary to liquidate $200k and then transfer the $ to the checking account and then have him write a check.

Good to document this is a reimbursement and not a gift (though even if a gift it’s just a matter of filing an additional form with his taxes - it doesn’t sound like his estate will be large enough to trigger estate taxes down the road).

There will likely be tax to be paid on the distribution (if the account was an IRA/401(k) or appreciated stocks/mutual funds). If needed take out enough to over the tax and have that withheld from the distribution.

As long as your dad is in the phone with you, you won’t need to get into the POA (unless you want that set up going forward).

Anonymous wrote:How is the money invested in Vanguard? It may not be as simple as writing a check (funds may need to be sold, which could have tax implications for your parents, as mentioned above).

If it’s just in a money market account, no big deal, but if it’s in stock funds bought many years ago, selling will trigger capital gains.

Also,Vanguard may have its own process for POA (might not accept the form you have). Even with POA you need to call every bank and work through this.

One more thing. Get something in writing, ideally from a lawyer but at a minimum signed by your parents, that explains this is reimbursement for money you paid, and not a gift to you. If your parents do run out of money, it could stand in the way of them qualifying for Medicaid if there is no paper trail.

Agree with this. Talk to elder care attorney. All future payments come directly from their accounts.

How is the money invested in Vanguard? It may not be as simple as writing a check (funds may need to be sold, which could have tax implications for your parents, as mentioned above).

If it’s just in a money market account, no big deal, but if it’s in stock funds bought many years ago, selling will trigger capital gains.

Also,Vanguard may have its own process for POA (might not accept the form you have). Even with POA you need to call every bank and work through this.

One more thing. Get something in writing, ideally from a lawyer but at a minimum signed by your parents, that explains this is reimbursement for money you paid, and not a gift to you. If your parents do run out of money, it could stand in the way of them qualifying for Medicaid if there is no paper trail.

Anonymous wrote:Take the POA to your parent’s bank and get yourself added to their checking account. The bank will give you checks that you can use.

Ha! Maybe after 6 months of sustained fighting! No, work with your parents to write these checks to each of you for now and also start working with the bank to establish your ability to transact on their accounts. Do you have diagnosis letters from doctors stating your parents are incapacitated and unlikely to improve? If not, get them now.

Why did you pay upfront? This is a bad plan going forward. Set things up to auto pay from checking and don’t be reimbursing yourself except for small expenses like clothing.

Take the POA to your parent’s bank and get yourself added to their checking account. The bank will give you checks that you can use.

Don't all POA have restrictions? In that you can't enrich yourself? Why didn't your dad just pay the 200k? I would see if the facility will accept 200k from your dad and they reimburse you the money.

If not do you have a spouse, kids? I would have them write out checks to you, your spouse and your kids for under the gift amount.

Neither are fully incapacitated, but my dad is experiencing cognitive decline and has no idea what to do. Mom has never had any idea what to do with money; she could have been a tradwife influencer. Both are fine with the idea of us being paid back. Neither could handle this on their own. POA has no restrictions.

This is helping me focus. I think what I'm really asking is how to spend this money that would otherwise go to us as an inheritance. Can I just write out a 100K check to my brother? And another to me?

Are they fully incapacitated? Does the POA have any restrictions on transactions with the agent (you)? If your parents can still make basic decisions, discuss with them. If not reimburse both of you, understanding there might be tax consequences for your parents.

I recently got my 88 y.o mom and 92 y.o. dad (still married) to move into senior housing. My dad has $800K in a Vanguard account and $50K in checking. I now have POA. My brother and I paid the upfront fees (200K) to get them in. What is the best way for us to be reimbursed from my parents' money?

We are not trying to spend down their assets so they are covered by Medicare. Ongoing costs ($10K per month) will be paid from his money. But both my bro and I make approximately $100K a year, so to recoup this initial outlay would be a lifesaver for us.

Thanks so much to anyone who can advise!