Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:nagger

This.

- If he's busy on his phone and you have time to notice and nag him, then you can just as easily give the kids attention.
- If he's finished his plate and gets distracted by something else, be a doll and grab it for him.
- He can spend his own money however he pleases.

It's all one-sided nagging. Constant blame game... No wonder he's mentally checked out. I can guarantee you that DH does not snap at his wife to get off her phone, cleans up after her at times, and has zero say in how she spends her own money.

She is not his maid.

Anonymous wrote:Put his dirty laundry and his dirty dishes in his lap while he is looking at (addicted to ) his phone.

Sure. And he can dump her A.

Put his dirty laundry and his dirty dishes in his lap while he is looking at (addicted to ) his phone.

Addiction counseling for being addicted to his phone.

You need to drop the phone thing. He can decide for himself how much to “engage.”

I would just put his trash on his desk/vanity/whatever if it bothers you. Spending needs to be a mature conservation about purchases, not a nagging “don’t overspend.”

Anonymous wrote:nagger

This.

- If he's busy on his phone and you have time to notice and nag him, then you can just as easily give the kids attention.
- If he's finished his plate and gets distracted by something else, be a doll and grab it for him.
- He can spend his own money however he pleases.

It's all one-sided nagging. Constant blame game... No wonder he's mentally checked out. I can guarantee you that DH does not snap at his wife to get off her phone, cleans up after her at times, and has zero say in how she spends her own money.

All the time. It is like having another child.

nagger

Yes, we did hearing test. I shifted from saying selective hearing to weaponized incompetence. It's beyond annoying and is a form of manipulation.

I call it weaponized incompetence. I send him texts so at least i can prove I said it and put things on a shared calendar.

The "you never said that" makes my lose my you know what. I tell him to at least say "I didn't hear you."

It was so bad I had my DH checked for hearing loss. How many times did I have to say something before it registered with him??!!

When his hearing was shown to be fine, I knew for certain he was just ignoring me. Like I was background noise.

Now I can tell when he's not paying attention or tuning me out. If it's something really important I purposely tell him to look at me and then I say it veerrrry slowwwly so it sinks in.

I can tell it annoys him but I am sick of having to say things over and over, or worse, have him try and gaslight me that I never said such-and-such.

It was so bad I had my DH checked for hearing loss. How many times did I have to say something before it registered with him??!!

When his hearing was shown to be fine, I knew for certain he was just ignoring me. Like I was background noise.

Now I can tell when he's not paying attention or tuning me out. If it's something really important I purposely tell him to look at me and then I say it veerrrry slowwwly so it sinks in.

I can tell it annoys him but I am sick of having to say things over and over, or worse, have him try and gaslight me that I never said such-and-such.

How does he function at work?

In our house we call that selective hearing

Does anyone else have to constantly remind their DH of things? Sometimes I feel like he’s one of the kids. I have to constantly remind him to put down his phone and give attention to the kids, throw his trash away, not overspend.