Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you should have set more firm boundaries earlier in her life. Why does she think she can persist until you give up?

Like I said, I am just venting. DCUM is a safe space to vent. When you set clear boundaries, there is always resistance. I am an only parent and have shouldered being a mom, dad, and sibling for at least 10 years.

So you just want people to agree with you

No, I appreciate all of the feedback.

The way she treats you is not the way she treats the rest of the world. Maybe you just don't have a great relationship.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you should have set more firm boundaries earlier in her life. Why does she think she can persist until you give up?

Like I said, I am just venting. DCUM is a safe space to vent. When you set clear boundaries, there is always resistance. I am an only parent and have shouldered being a mom, dad, and sibling for at least 10 years.

So you just want people to agree with you

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s pretty rude. OP doesn’t have to take her out for a nice dinner at all. If her plans are incompatible with the invitation, she should just say that and decline.

On one hand, I agree, but on the other hand, the daughter already had plans made with friends that she needs to be back for. Why is 7 PM rushing OP? Seems as if they’re in one big power struggle.

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you should have set more firm boundaries earlier in her life. Why does she think she can persist until you give up?

Like I said, I am just venting. DCUM is a safe space to vent. When you set clear boundaries, there is always resistance. I am an only parent and have shouldered being a mom, dad, and sibling for at least 10 years.

I think it’s pretty rude. OP doesn’t have to take her out for a nice dinner at all. If her plans are incompatible with the invitation, she should just say that and decline.

Sounds like you should have set more firm boundaries earlier in her life. Why does she think she can persist until you give up?

Anonymous wrote:OP here again. I love how this board is ruthless I have other examples, but my main point is the way that she blows up my phone with text messages and multiple phone calls within a span of 30 mins to get her way.

Maybe speak to her face-to-face?

Why would you be rushed to get to a 7pm dinner?

OP here again. I love how this board is ruthless I have other examples, but my main point is the way that she blows up my phone with text messages and multiple phone calls within a span of 30 mins to get her way.

Unless you have more evidence of her bullying you, this is very much not it, OP. You're being a an entitled old fart. Maybe she's pushing back because you always do this, and expect another adult to kow-tow to your needs. Heads-up, this is not how relationships work with other adults. Your child is not a 3 year old you can just cart around.

20s year olds are hungry before 7. I never met a young person who wasn't. If the usual dinner hour is 6 or 7, and she has a party that night, why on earth would you be a jerk and shove everything back? Why can't YOU enjoy a meal at 6 or 7? Why would you feel rushed?

Sorry, but I side with your adult child here.

Anonymous wrote:She's 20? Maybe she wants to go out with her friends for NYE?

OP here. Yes, her friends are all coming by over to our place after dinner before their party.

She's 20? Maybe she wants to go out with her friends for NYE?

My daughter is teetering on being a bully. Maybe that is not the right word but she is very confrontational when things are not to her liking. For example, I want to take her out for a nice NYE dinner tomorrow night but she is insistent that we before 7. She works out and said she will be starving. I do not want to be rushed. She can have a snack until then.

I am trying hard to hold back and not be reactive. This younger generation is so emboldened with the need for immediate response and reactions.

I am happy to have NYE dinner on my own if this is the way she treats me.

Just a vent.