Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good lord, no. Cheating is cheating.

No, it’s not. Women+women is different.

Sorry, just is. Too about the hypocrisy, consider it a trade off for the wage gap.

OMG. It is so NOT. It is cheating and breaking you marriage vows.

Idk OP our spouses don’t need to know everything. It is different with women.

Go on Doublelist to find like-minded women.

Can still give DH an STD. Heartbreak.

Anonymous wrote:Good lord, no. Cheating is cheating.

No, it’s not. Women+women is different.

Sorry, just is. Too about the hypocrisy, consider it a trade off for the wage gap.

Pretty sure this is a troll, but, you can't have your cake and eat it to. Husband wants monogamy, you're not going to find a magical way to get it both ways.

A lot of the replies here are clearly from straight women.

As one pp earlier said, cheating is cheating. It's unethical and wrong. You can ask him about opening up your marriage and going polyamorous but he didn't sign up for that in the beginning and he doesn't have to agree. Here's the truth you know but probably don't want to hear: it's time to reevaluate if the marriage is working for you. Does it meet your needs? Are you fulfilled? Are you happy? Do you want to spend the rest of your life with your husband or would you rather date women?

We don't get second chances in life. There are no do-overs. We aren't reincarnated and given a second chance to live our best lives. When you're on your deathbed, are you going to look back at this moment with regret at the path not taken wishing you had been stronger and more courageous?

You're in your early 40's and have another 40 years to go. How do you want to spend it?

Think about this. Maybe find a queer therapist to discuss this with. Someone that's queer themselves and have a lot of experience with the community.

Just get approval from your DH and pay for an experience with an escort. Then either move on with your DH, or get ready to pick up the pieces.

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are in a real pickle and I feel for you. It can’t be easy. You were brave AF to raise this with your husband and I totally got both why he would think this is about him and why it absolutely is not.

Unfortunately you are on a website where “cheating” is considered the nuclear option under all circumstances while also being absurdly broadly defined. The women here are simply blind and unforgiving when it comes to this topic. Lots of insecurity in their relationships and in themselves I suppose.

In any event, this is the wrong place for you to be seeking this kind of advice. I’d suggest seeing a therapist.

She is a cake eater. She seems to think that because she has this “gay side” that somehow gives her a pass to engage in behavior that any reasonable person would recognize as cheating. She also seems to feel entitled to a “hall pass” from her husband, to whom she committed and pledged fidelity, because, why, she has a “gay side?”

But I sure expect that she would be unhappy if he, too, went out and had sex with a woman.

There isn’t a loophole in the vows here.

Their choices are to open up the marriage, in which case he gets to go get his dick wet in someone new, too, or she leaves him and explores her gay side. It’s a binary choice.

Anonymous wrote:I am 42 and have always known I have a gay side (we’re all on a spectrum blah blah) but I’ve never been a big dater and when I met my husband when I was 22 i genuinely fell in love and have been w him since.

Fast forward to a major cliche. Call it whatever you want but I feel so gay in this period of my life and badly want to dip my toes in the water.

Is there ever a “moral” way of quietly being with women. My DH thinks this is about him and his reaction has been deeply main character. I don’t even know why I told him—it was an attempt to share a hard year around this and it went horribly.

Do women out there have low key women they date on the side?

I have previously had v strong ideas about cheating but this feels different and I don’t have anyone to talk to or a way to touch grass to not feel so crazy.

OMG, this is some bad troll writing. 😂 Go back to Reddit.

OP, you are in a real pickle and I feel for you. It can’t be easy. You were brave AF to raise this with your husband and I totally got both why he would think this is about him and why it absolutely is not.

Unfortunately you are on a website where “cheating” is considered the nuclear option under all circumstances while also being absurdly broadly defined. The women here are simply blind and unforgiving when it comes to this topic. Lots of insecurity in their relationships and in themselves I suppose.

In any event, this is the wrong place for you to be seeking this kind of advice. I’d suggest seeing a therapist.

Offer a 3 way. Win win

Or blow his, um, mind so much that he feels secure sharing you.

Anonymous wrote:I am 42 and have always known I have a gay side (we’re all on a spectrum blah blah) but I’ve never been a big dater and when I met my husband when I was 22 i genuinely fell in love and have been w him since.

Fast forward to a major cliche. Call it whatever you want but I feel so gay in this period of my life and badly want to dip my toes in the water.

Is there ever a “moral” way of quietly being with women. My DH thinks this is about him and his reaction has been deeply main character. I don’t even know why I told him—it was an attempt to share a hard year around this and it went horribly.

Do women out there have low key women they date on the side?

I have previously had v strong ideas about cheating but this feels different and I don’t have anyone to talk to or a way to touch grass to not feel so crazy.

You want to step outside your marriage and you are shaming him for having a normal negative reaction to this?

Honey child, please. You are the one with main character syndrome.

Try making him a deal: You want to sleep with a woman. He gets to as well. Would you be good with that? It’s a serious question.

Good lord, no. Cheating is cheating.

I am 42 and have always known I have a gay side (we’re all on a spectrum blah blah) but I’ve never been a big dater and when I met my husband when I was 22 i genuinely fell in love and have been w him since.

Fast forward to a major cliche. Call it whatever you want but I feel so gay in this period of my life and badly want to dip my toes in the water.

Is there ever a “moral” way of quietly being with women. My DH thinks this is about him and his reaction has been deeply main character. I don’t even know why I told him—it was an attempt to share a hard year around this and it went horribly.

Do women out there have low key women they date on the side?

I have previously had v strong ideas about cheating but this feels different and I don’t have anyone to talk to or a way to touch grass to not feel so crazy.