Anonymous wrote:I have never cut off a friend or family member. Nor have I ever blocked a family member or friend. The idea of 'cancelling' people in your life isn't a value I hold.
As an adult there are many ways to manage conflicts without the flouncing and announcing and going high drama about it.

Congratulations on never being abused or needing to protect yourself from people who say they care about you.

You don't get a medal for this, or even a cookie, but since you posted a humblebraggy post on an anon forum about your self-proclaimed superiority, here are your anon kudos.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Voted for Trump, different values

bigoted reaction

DP, but nah. I'm trans. If you're openly supportive of someone with openly anti-trans policies, you're openly anti-me.

We can't be friends.

I have never cut off a friend or family member. Nor have I ever blocked a family member or friend. The idea of 'cancelling' people in your life isn't a value I hold.
As an adult there are many ways to manage conflicts without the flouncing and announcing and going high drama about it.

I had to cut off anyone who remained friends with my abusive ex.

Anonymous wrote:Was so much a taker - in every way - and never reciprocated nor realized that maybe I could use some support.

This is also a good reason to remove someone from close access to your life.

Cut off?

Lying (to me or to others), gossip, other integrity issues (cheating, stealing), unreliability, excessive drama...

I feel like these are standard reasons to spend less time with someone. I don't know that I'd say I "cut off" all the people who exhibited those behaviors; some I just made some space around and they naturally moved on to their next target. People who really want to gossip don't really want to hang out with me because I'll cut you off mid-sentence and change the subject.

But yeah, the dishonesty thing is the one that has resulted in actual "we're done" cut offs. If I can't trust you, you can't be close to me.

Honestly, she was rude to my girlfriend and now wife pretty consistently and wouldn't be supportive. In hindsight there were probably feelings on her part but i was pretty clear about our friendship being more aibling like considering we were friends since we were kids. I chose my wife. No regrets.

Was so much a taker - in every way - and never reciprocated nor realized that maybe I could use some support.

Anonymous wrote:Voted for Trump, different values

bigoted reaction

I've cut off 2 friends.

1 friend just became very bitter as she got older. Everything that went wrong was everyone else's fault. If anyone disagreed with that, she would flip out on them. Eventually it just got too much and I was tired of all the negativity and victimhood.

The other friend was a compulsive liar. I knew it stemmed from self esteem issues and I was sympathetic for years. But as I got older and my time was stretched more thin, I just didn't want to spend it around someone who constantly lied. And it was always about stuff that she never needed to lie about. She would make up all these details about a new job and then the job never existed. There were two incidents that really pushed me to the point of ending the friendship. The first was when we were at a friend's house and a friend was getting a ton of attention over something. And then 30 min later this lying friend announced her dad was being rushed to the hospital with a possible stroke. But she didn't want to leave (he lived 30 min away) and then spent the rest of the night getting attention on her. When I followed up with her about her dad , the details didn't make sense and I was suspicious (I'm a medical professional). I ran into her parents a month later and mentioned something about how great he looked and he had no idea what I was talking about. And the last thing was when it came out that she lied about having an abortion. It had been this whole thing years ago when she was struggling with fertility issues about how her DH had made her have an abortion when they had been dating for 2 years. It turned out to be a lie.

Friend started cheating and wanted me to cover for her. No way.

Voted for Trump, different values

Why would she apologize? You’re the one that dumped her as a friend.

When my family and I became blog subjects without our permission.

I recently cut off a friendship as this friend is unreliable and cancels at the very last minute a lot.


Other things I have noticed

Seems to create or attract drama with other friends. A lot of the time we spend together she speaks about people who have wronged her. It’s exhausting talking through it. I get stuff happens but we’re too old for this. I have two children and only so much time to talk and get together with this person.

Seems to be irritable a lot and it’s uncomfortable.


I’ve tried giving her the benefit of the doubt as we have been friends for several years but her situation hasn’t gotten better. She also spends a lot of time blaming her parents for the way her life turned out.

My husband thinks I could be helping her by pointing out some of these things and says she needs to grow up. The last time she canceled last minute was the last straw for me and I told her I can no longer be close to her if she’s not reliable. She told me I need to be more understanding of her situation and let’s just say reacted very badly. She also de friended me on Facebook the same day. I have a feeling she will come around and apologize eventually. She’s a very sweet person and has good qualities but it’s hard to be around someone who isn’t reliable and negative. Her mind is very scattered as well. Sometimes she says there was a misunderstanding with plans even though I confirm with her the night before. The next day she will claim she told me she couldn’t come a few days before. This has happened twice now… I was thinking maybe she misread messages but it’s happened two times now. She texted me saying yes see you tomorrow as we originally planned.