DH buys what I ask for and nothing more. He doesn’t try to hide the shipping boxes and asks the teens to do his wrapping for him. After Christmas I definitely do some sale shopping and get myself some additional nice things that I don’t mention.

Marriage is a compromise.

Don’t complain if you can’t send a list

Communicate with him. I'm sure there are healthy couples where this is the norm and there are no issues, just as there are couples that do buy gifts for each other. But you have to communicate and make your expectations known. If you're hurt that he doesn't give gifts, TELL HIM.

DH and I have a standing agreement that we do not expect gifts for holidays or anniversaries, or we tell each other exactly what we want (and often buy it ourselves). That's the best part of the gift--no stress about getting it right or meeting an expectation. It's become a running joke where we leave each other a bunch of boxes to wrap up and get surprised when we find out what we got each other.

So tell your DH that this bothers you.

DH used to be like this until my teens started shaming him.

How I coped for those years was to buy myself something expensive for me that I would be thrilled to own and wrap it for myself. It took the sting away somewhat.

In his case, he didn't mean to not get me anything. His family of origin is just like that.

He wrappes up something you already owned? What? Why?

I would freak out. We don't do presents for grownup. Normal for you is different.
I usually got silent treatment when he couldn't figure out his feelings. Heck with the presents.

Anonymous wrote:Nope. He needs to have higher standards for himself. I do what I can-at work I ask every married man what they’re getting their spouse for the holidays.

Why do you do this? It doesn’t sound like you are making idle conversation.

Nope. Not normal..
May want to discuss with him your disappointment and expectations around gift gifting..

I'm trying to do my part by raising a son that understands gift giving etiquette.

Anonymous wrote:Nope. He needs to have higher standards for himself. I do what I can-at work I ask every married man what they’re getting their spouse for the holidays.

Stop sexually harassing your coworkers.

Wouldn't say it's normal to wrap something you own unless you were in on it, like a present you just recently bought for yourself.

But a makeup bag, that's in the wide range of normal.

You married him so I assume you know him better than us. Has he always done this, or is it a new behavior?

Nope. He needs to have higher standards for himself. I do what I can-at work I ask every married man what they’re getting their spouse for the holidays.

If you gave him a list or sent him online links would he get those things for you or would he refuse.

My feelings are hurt but he only got me a small makeup bag for Xmas. He also wrapped something I owned already.

Is this normal?