Anonymous wrote:It’s clear your DC was overwhelmed and acting out. Why didn’t you or DH remove him from the situation (grandparents house) before it got to that point? The kid is 4, and both you and DH seem to be clueless parents and failed your child.

+1. Kid is cranky for some reason (new environment, hunger, lack of sleep, whatever). Fix the underlying issue instead of punishing the behavior.

Your son needed to be taken away from all the company (and pets). He needed a time in. Possibly a nap, possibly food/drink, possibly to be taken to a playground to burn off energy in an acceptable way. Possibly to be finished spending time with people outside his routine.

I would raise hell with my spouse if they used a belt on our child. I would insist he take some parenting seminars to learn nonviolent discipline.

It’s clear your DC was overwhelmed and acting out. Why didn’t you or DH remove him from the situation (grandparents house) before it got to that point? The kid is 4, and both you and DH seem to be clueless parents and failed your child.

He’s right that what you were doing wasn’t working. He gave a warning and the kid still did the same behavior. He has to follow through at that point.
I would definitely find better consequences that work and don’t agree with corporal punishment in general. But better a red mark from a belt than a dog bite to the face because he’s tormenting a dog.

Belt is not ok but those actions do call for a spanking.

If your kid pushed my parents or hit my dog I'd throw him and you out the door.

Your kid sounds like a complete nightmare, why on earth would you travel with a child who has no self control? Go home.

Spanking with the hand in that scenario, maybe, if all else had failed. Spanking with a belt, hell no.

Sounds like a long and rough day. Meaning lots of opportunities to intervene healthily and in a positive way. If this is an outlier (schedule off, guests in town, unstructured events) I’d have a conversation to understand the day better, their point of view including feelings etc and then FIRMLY discuss expectations.

I am not ok with spanking or anything of the like - it just proves the adult is out of control… and can, in some cases mean worse stuff too. Adult needs to rein themselves in and be in control, always.

Anonymous wrote:A swat with a belt hard enough to leave a mark. Kid was acting out all day, hitting grandparents’ dog, pushing people, not listening, whining and spouse gave a warning that the next time he would be spanked with a belt. And of course the kid misbehaved again. I don’t believe in physical punishment but spouse felt time outs and taking toys away weren’t working.

Oh damn. Not okay. Sounds like you’re not at home and kid is overwhelmed. Using an object like a belt is not okay.

Can you leave? Stay at a hotel?

A swat with a belt hard enough to leave a mark. Kid was acting out all day, hitting grandparents’ dog, pushing people, not listening, whining and spouse gave a warning that the next time he would be spanked with a belt. And of course the kid misbehaved again. I don’t believe in physical punishment but spouse felt time outs and taking toys away weren’t working.

Like one swat on the butt for running into the street, or beating with a belt?

Context matters. Was the child doing something dangerous like running into the street? Was it a swat on the hand or the bottom, or something more serious?

Have doctor or clergy explain why this is not good or productive.

Kid is 4 for context