It might be nothing new but it still needs to be said. If I had spent more time living my own life and not micromanaging my children’s, which my religion certainly encouraged and I thought was my “parental duty”, maybe we’d have a relationship….

https://www.nytimes.com/2024/12/24/well/mind/mel-robbins-let-them-profile.html?unlocked_article_code=1.j04.oqM5.KnbqMNJ82GLb&smid=url-share

Gift link. Happy Festivus.

Anonymous wrote:Please gift link it someone

Say what. Does google or safari not work for you?

Anonymous wrote:I 100% believe this and I wish I had followed this theory earlier in my life.

It’s not a theory it’s a mindset and it’s NOTHING new! It’s unremarkable actually. Interesting that you find it to be profound.

Anonymous wrote:What are your thoughts on it?

Yes AND it’s not her theory. Nothing new here. It’s essentially step 3 in AA or any other 12 step program of “turning things over aka letting go.”

It and she’s the most recent obnoxious white woman (aka Brene Brown) who has great timing, an amazing marketing machine and who Oprah latches onto and treats like a goddess.

I much prefer books like the best selling Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself. Nedra Tewab

I think she is a grifter spouting basic information. She has no background in psychology. She is a former lawyer who has made riches off saying mundane, simple simon "motivational" speeches. Oh, and of course, being a "coach" because that is a good money maker these days since literally ANYONE can be a coach.

Haven’t read the book yet but do follow her on socials. In her book and/or elsewhere, does Robbins ever give credit to the older lady that first popularized this theory?

Anonymous wrote:Being a civilized adult is a Theory now?

In the DC area, it would be completely theoretical having never been experimentally tested.

I 100% believe this and I wish I had followed this theory earlier in my life.

Being a civilized adult is a Theory now?

Please gift link it someone

I think it's a good approach, especially if you struggle with trying to control people around you.

However, that's never really been my problem. Actually, my problem is the inverse -- I find myself drawn to people who are somewhat controlling. I wonder if there is a "Let Them Theory" corollary for what to do when people in your life are always refusing to just let you do your thing? I guess just let them be mad when I do stuff they want to correct and tinker with.

Not OP, but the NYT just published this: https://www.nytimes.com/2024/12/24/well/mind/mel-robbins-let-them-profile.html

(sorry I don't have a gift link -- I don't subscribe at the moment).

The gist of it based on the article is that when other people do things that you don't like, you just... let them. And then move on. Instead of trying to control others you let them be who they are and do what they want and you focus on you.

I think it's pretty basic and seems obvious but also the sort of thing I have to be reminded about over and over and over in life. I'm getting pretty good about it in middle age but I really could have used this in my 20s and early 30s.

What is it?

What are your thoughts on it?