It is fascinating to hear my mom's "new" version of past events, especially when she tells me things about myself that I know are wrong.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women were socialized to keep sad and scandalous things secret. They often come bubbling out with dementia. I wouldn’t make the assumption that the information is incorrect. Comfort her and keep notes because you may want to check into some things later.

No, that way lies madness. In dementia, patients really do take stuff from the news or people they know and use it for storytelling. OP should just nod and say hm-mm.

They also divulge things they were taught to keep silent about. It’s better to keep track of the information that you might want to follow up on later.

Anonymous wrote:Women were socialized to keep sad and scandalous things secret. They often come bubbling out with dementia. I wouldn’t make the assumption that the information is incorrect. Comfort her and keep notes because you may want to check into some things later.

No, that way lies madness. In dementia, patients really do take stuff from the news or people they know and use it for storytelling. OP should just nod and say hm-mm.

Women were socialized to keep sad and scandalous things secret. They often come bubbling out with dementia. I wouldn’t make the assumption that the information is incorrect. Comfort her and keep notes because you may want to check into some things later.

It's all fake. You know it's her disease. Why do you let it get to you?

"Oh, kids, listen to this, here's Grandma fabulating again!".

You can always keep the fake family history at the back of your mind, in case one of you manifests symptoms. But it's really nothing to worry about now.

She is no longer an accurate family historian. As she loses her mind there are gaps.she is filling in those gaps with things she heard from others or has seen recently to make sense if things.

My mom will hear someone in her assisted living place talk about their husband having an affair and leaving the family and my mom will insert that aspect into a family story. Like you know uncle Bob had a family before. He left his first family who lived on this street in this part town, etc.

It sounds completely believable!! I only realized it because I ate lunch with my mom and two neighbors in the assisted living place. The next day at a family gathering she started telling a wacky story that sounded so real but I realized it was actually what her neighbor had tecigvtee mixed in with uncle Bob’s life.

My mom is early in dementia. She has a better grasp on the 1940s-1960s than what happened 5 years, but no other witnesses are left to corroborate these accounts. Sometimes she tells me, DH, and my young adult kids, these huge family bombshells that may or may not be her delusions. Some upset me because I knew the people she’s talking about. Some really trouble my kids because there’s some potentially genetic stuff.

I realize there’s probably no way to stop her, but it’s driving me nuts. We can go five or six visits without it happening and then she’ll say something terrifying or terribly tragic that upsets the rest of us for weeks.