The post right after yours is "What if your kid doesn't get into a T60?" Wait a year and try again because othing else is good enough? is heir question. It really proves your point.

I probably went to a T400 school. But I am merely happy.

I have a kid at UMD majoring in CS. DC is an academic superstar, always has been since they were 3 (gifted program, magnet programs, etc). But, they got shut out of the T15, though UMD is T20 for CS.

The reason why parents want their kids to go to more prestigious schools is because of internship/employment recruiting. While I agree that where you went to school won't matter after working for 5 years, where you go matters to open that first door. The top paying employers recruit mostly from certain schools. It's harder to get recruited to those companies from the lesser tier schools.

I went to a no name u here in the states, and while I did eventually work my way up to a very well known prestigious company, it took me a lot longer to get there than my colleagues at work who went to a big name u.

But, I agree, as my experience has shown me, a really smart, motivated person can do well in life no matter where they go. It will just take them longer.

Parents just want their kids to get there faster if they can.

DC has an internship this summer with a well known company. They had to really hustle last year to get to that stepping stone, but it was their smarts and personality that got them there.

Let's be honest.. if you have an applicant from MIT and one from UMD, you would look at the MIT applicant first.

There are so many phony students at these elite schools now so when Harry and Sally get there they are surrounded by duds and they wonder what the big deal is.

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it is all performance based theatre. Parents want the same or better for their kids but fail to factor in population growth and demographic changes.

They went to the top 50, 60, 70, etc., schools when admission rates were near or over 50%. Now that top schools can be in the single digits they are stressed that Larlo and Larla won’t end up at a highly ranked school like they did.

Most can’t afford to put a name on a building at their old school, so kid is out of luck from a legacy standpoint. So you get to see the angst on DCUM.

Yes, if instead they recognized that they went to a college that accepted 65% of students and so it is fine for their kids to go to a college of similar selectivity, they would see there are so many great options and the process can be about discovering interesting places and finding the right fit vs a stressful misery.

Yes, it is all performance based theatre. Parents want the same or better for their kids but fail to factor in population growth and demographic changes.

They went to the top 50, 60, 70, etc., schools when admission rates were near or over 50%. Now that top schools can be in the single digits they are stressed that Larlo and Larla won’t end up at a highly ranked school like they did.

Most can’t afford to put a name on a building at their old school, so kid is out of luck from a legacy standpoint. So you get to see the angst on DCUM.

Anonymous wrote:You are correct. I think some of this, especially in the DC area, is that a lot of these parents went to these highly ranked schools back when it was a lot easier to get into them (not as many kids going to college, fewer looking at schools outside their region). And they think any success they have in life is a result of going to a particular college and/or are unaware at how much less selective their own school used to be. While also being completely unaware of the opportunities available at not-so-selective schools and somehow not noticing that lots of their peers likely went up a wide range of schools.

NYU, for example, currently #30 has a 9% acceptance rate. In the 90s it had a 65% acceptance rate. USC is 10% and was 70% in the 90s.

The T30 or bust families would faint at the idea of their kid don't to a 65%+ acceptance rate college with at the same time being proud of their own degrees and happy with their experience at schools that were that high when they went.

This is a good take. I would especially echo the “I’m successful and went to X, therefore X caused my success” point. This is a logical fallacy but you see it here all the time.

You are correct. I think some of this, especially in the DC area, is that a lot of these parents went to these highly ranked schools back when it was a lot easier to get into them (not as many kids going to college, fewer looking at schools outside their region). And they think any success they have in life is a result of going to a particular college and/or are unaware at how much less selective their own school used to be. While also being completely unaware of the opportunities available at not-so-selective schools and somehow not noticing that lots of their peers likely went up a wide range of schools.

NYU, for example, currently #30 has a 9% acceptance rate. In the 90s it had a 65% acceptance rate. USC is 10% and was 70% in the 90s.

The T30 or bust families would faint at the idea of their kid don't to a 65%+ acceptance rate college with at the same time being proud of their own degrees and happy with their experience at schools that were that high when they went.

I have one kid at HYP and another who will be going to a state school next year ( current hs senior.) Both awesome kids, different strengths. The older kid really did seek out a very specific kind of academic environment; she could have had a great experience at many schools but definitely landed at a school that offered what she was looking for. The younger kid was less specific in what he wanted, not a candidate for tippy top schools, super awesome kid and hard worker who will do well at large variety of places. The US system is kind of ridiculous and overwhelming but there really is something for everyone and many pathways to get there.

Part of it is also that the American tradition of going “away” to college (but not to any place in particular) means there are too many good options. Status-striving helps to answer the question “which one”?

Anonymous wrote:Yes, that’s about it.

Yup.

Sometimes it takes an outsider to see past culturally-ingrained nonsense.

I’ve been here for 20 years, from western Europe too. DCUM and certain upper middle class regions of the world are crazy about getting into top colleges, because they’re competitive FOMO strivers. They didn’t get where they are by not striving, it’s all they know. So patterns get replicated.

Honestly I know people like this too in my home country.

It’s fine. Just roll with it.

The answer to all your “if” questions is “yes”.

The answer to “why” is because certain segments of the US population think the optimal way run an education system is to overload a few elite institutions with an embarrassment of riches so that the very select few get access to the very best. While the rest claw over scraps. It may be that in some societies where there are few good colleges, but the US does not suffer from a lack of terrific colleges. There are a couple hundred at least that nearly every employer would consider hiring from given the right candidate. Of course the less elite it is, it may require a bit more initiative and getting better grades than at an elite school.

Yes, that’s about it.

All of your points are correct but you’ll never convince the high anxiety, status-chasing people here so best of luck with this post.

I’m a foreigner and newcomer to DC - we moved here for my husband’s work ~ 2 years ago from Western Europe. We have two boys and the oldest just started high school here, so I’ve been trying to learn about US college admissions in case my kids express interest in attending school here.

This is what I have trouble understanding:
- if now desirable employers recruit from a large range of schools rather than only from a few elite schools
- if you can have access to quality peers beyond the T20 schools since there are way more qualified kids than spots at these schools
- if you can get a quality education at pretty much any top 100 school, and
- if life outcomes are truly dependent on the kid rather than the school

Then why oh why are kids (and parents) putting themselves through so much stress and anxiety to get into HYPSM? This is what I don’t get.

Is it purely because Harvard and Yale are more prestigious than Penn State and Miami? So it’s just about prestige and bragging rights?