You’ve known your SIL 7 years? I’d probably also treat her like my husband’s family more than mine: shrug it off, move on and let husband take care of his family.

Anonymous wrote:What were her exact words? Do keep in mind that you is plural.

My phone number is not plural and she called me, not my husband. I’m not a member of the royal family, so me really does mean just me when you’re calling my phone.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Chill out. I get it. But you could just be nice and say "I'm not sure what we got her: Jake is in charge of her gift this year."

Your answer is understandable but your tone is confrontational, unecessarily.

This. And your tone/answer also suggests you DGAF what gift your MIL is getting.

I am staunchly feminist and I take your point, but let’s try to give each other a little grace these days.

I don’t GAF what my MIL is getting. Why would I? Do you think my husband cares what I got my parents? All the older adults are well-off, retired people who need absolutely nothing. I don’t care what my husband got his mother. Why would I? If she were not well off and desperately needed a new oven, I would care that we got her an oven. But like, I don’t care if he sent her flowers or chocolates or a gift card to Talbots. That’s all nice but she needs none of it.

Anonymous wrote:So you don’t even talk to your husband? No communication to know what he got his own mom? Even in passing conversation? That’s weird.

Nope! He ships stuff to his parents, I send stuff to mine. Or on the years we have them here, we buy and wrap. What’s to discuss? I didn’t tell him I made a donation to my hometown library and a gift card to a restaurant for my parents. We have enough shared responsibility to discuss.

Anonymous wrote:I dunno...you're part of the family and may have discussed it with dh? Or, the woman raised your spouse whom you presumably love?

Why would either being a part of a family I met seven years ago or loving someone I met seven years ago put me in charge of buying a gift for someone who literally came out of my MIL’s body?

I'm with you OP. Why is it your project to get your husband's mother a gift?

My husband has no idea what I get for my parents. I don't pay much attention to wht he gets for his, either. I love them very much but I don't need to micromanage his relationship with them.

What were her exact words? Do keep in mind that you is plural.

The phrasing you used was very rude indeed. There are nicer ways to saying you don't know.

Calm down, OP. Holidays are meant to be enjoyed. Maybe rethink the way you do them if you're in such a state on Dec 20.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Chill out. I get it. But you could just be nice and say "I'm not sure what we got her: Jake is in charge of her gift this year."

Your answer is understandable but your tone is confrontational, unecessarily.

This. And your tone/answer also suggests you DGAF what gift your MIL is getting.

I am staunchly feminist and I take your point, but let’s try to give each other a little grace these days.

I agree. If you truly don't know, then say that nicely. I like my MIL very much, but I can never remember what her kids are getting her!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Chill out. I get it. But you could just be nice and say "I'm not sure what we got her: Jake is in charge of her gift this year."

Your answer is understandable but your tone is confrontational, unecessarily.

This. And your tone/answer also suggests you DGAF what gift your MIL is getting.

I am staunchly feminist and I take your point, but let’s try to give each other a little grace these days.

NP, do you think your husband cares what you’re getting your dad?

Anonymous wrote:Chill out. I get it. But you could just be nice and say "I'm not sure what we got her: Jake is in charge of her gift this year."

Your answer is understandable but your tone is confrontational, unecessarily.

This. And your tone/answer also suggests you DGAF what gift your MIL is getting.

I am staunchly feminist and I take your point, but let’s try to give each other a little grace these days.

Chill out. I get it. But you could just be nice and say "I'm not sure what we got her: Jake is in charge of her gift this year."

Your answer is understandable but your tone is confrontational, unecessarily.

So you don’t even talk to your husband? No communication to know what he got his own mom? Even in passing conversation? That’s weird.

I dunno...you're part of the family and may have discussed it with dh? Or, the woman raised your spouse whom you presumably love?

SIL just called me and asked me what I got for her mother—my MIL—for Christmas.

I said, “I have no idea what Jake got your mom. You should call him.” And she got huffy with me. Like…call your brother! Why would you assume I got her something? Why would I do that? I met her exactly seven years ago. Why would I be in charge of that?