Anonymous
12/18/2024 04:11
Subject: As an adult, what do you refer to step family as?
I call her "my dad's wife" and refer to "my dad's wife's kids." Or, when talking to my (full) brother, "dad's mistake."
I have no relationship with her and don't want one. The feeling is mutual. She refers to me as "X's past", as in--as she once drunkenly said at an event one of my dead mother's friends was attending--"X needs to make a clean break from his past so he can move on."
If someone brings her up when I've had a glass of wine or two, I use much stronger language.
I have no relationship with her and don't want one. The feeling is mutual. She refers to me as "X's past", as in--as she once drunkenly said at an event one of my dead mother's friends was attending--"X needs to make a clean break from his past so he can move on."
If someone brings her up when I've had a glass of wine or two, I use much stronger language.
Anonymous
12/18/2024 02:39
Subject: As an adult, what do you refer to step family as?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:“My dad’s wife” and “My dad’s wife’s kids” (I can’t imagine thinking of them as “step siblings.” And I call her by her first name. “Ms Lynn” sounds like you 12 and live in Mississippi. I would just call her Lynn.
If these marriages happen after the kids are grown, the whole “step” thing makes no sense.
Op here, and this just made me laugh very loud! My dad is from NC, so some of his Southern ways have admittedly rubbed off on me.
I don't buy the step nonsense. Those are other people's kids/families. If one of my parents remarried any kids from those relationships would be considered the parent's kids. Yes, she should be referred to as "lynn". Maybe she was trying to be friendly and meant well, but it was overbearing imo.
Anonymous
12/16/2024 17:59
Subject: As an adult, what do you refer to step family as?
Anonymous wrote:“My dad’s wife” and “My dad’s wife’s kids” (I can’t imagine thinking of them as “step siblings.” And I call her by her first name. “Ms Lynn” sounds like you 12 and live in Mississippi. I would just call her Lynn.
If these marriages happen after the kids are grown, the whole “step” thing makes no sense.
Op here, and this just made me laugh very loud! My dad is from NC, so some of his Southern ways have admittedly rubbed off on me.
Anonymous
12/16/2024 17:36
Subject: As an adult, what do you refer to step family as?
“My dad’s wife” and “My dad’s wife’s kids” (I can’t imagine thinking of them as “step siblings.” And I call her by her first name. “Ms Lynn” sounds like you 12 and live in Mississippi. I would just call her Lynn.
If these marriages happen after the kids are grown, the whole “step” thing makes no sense.
If these marriages happen after the kids are grown, the whole “step” thing makes no sense.
Anonymous
12/16/2024 17:25
Subject: As an adult, what do you refer to step family as?
I would just call them all by first times. I wouldn't correct dad's wife when she calls them stepsisters, but would not use the term. That's ridiculous.
Anonymous
12/16/2024 17:24
Subject: As an adult, what do you refer to step family as?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My dad remarried a few years ago. I am 44. His wife seems okay, but there is only limited interaction when I visit. About a year ago, she asked me to call her "Momma Lynn." I respectfully declined and continued calling her "Ms. Lynn." Last week, she referred to her grown daughters as my step-sisters. I've never met either of her daughters. I associate stepfamilies with blended families, which were introduced from birth to 17 years. Do full-grown adults refer to their parent's spouse/family as "step?" It seems so juvenile.
First name, Ms. Lynn is strange. No to Momma. Yes, they are your stepsiblings even if you don't consider them.
Agreed that Ms Lynn is strange. I'm thinking OP is Southern. Seemingly confirmed by stepmom wanting to be called "Momma Lynn." Though technically, that would be Mama Lynn. I have family who does that for ILs.
Anonymous
12/16/2024 17:18
Subject: As an adult, what do you refer to step family as?
Anonymous wrote:My dad remarried a few years ago. I am 44. His wife seems okay, but there is only limited interaction when I visit. About a year ago, she asked me to call her "Momma Lynn." I respectfully declined and continued calling her "Ms. Lynn." Last week, she referred to her grown daughters as my step-sisters. I've never met either of her daughters. I associate stepfamilies with blended families, which were introduced from birth to 17 years. Do full-grown adults refer to their parent's spouse/family as "step?" It seems so juvenile.
First name, Ms. Lynn is strange. No to Momma. Yes, they are your stepsiblings even if you don't consider them.
Anonymous
12/16/2024 17:15
Subject: As an adult, what do you refer to step family as?
I call them stepsiblings, as I think that's shortest and most clear. I don't think it's juvenile. But I DGAF and really resent pressure to blend or to perform a happy family.
Anonymous
12/16/2024 17:06
Subject: As an adult, what do you refer to step family as?
I have two stepbrothers and a stepsister. I met the stepsister twice. Yet that's what they are. Only time it bothered me was it was embarrassing filling out security clearance forms admitting I didn't know their birthdays or addresses.
Anonymous
12/16/2024 17:03
Subject: As an adult, what do you refer to step family as?
I just say my mom’s husband and his kids.
Anonymous
12/16/2024 17:02
Subject: As an adult, what do you refer to step family as?
Anonymous wrote:My dad remarried a few years ago. I am 44. His wife seems okay, but there is only limited interaction when I visit. About a year ago, she asked me to call her "Momma Lynn." I respectfully declined and continued calling her "Ms. Lynn." Last week, she referred to her grown daughters as my step-sisters. I've never met either of her daughters. I associate stepfamilies with blended families, which were introduced from birth to 17 years. Do full-grown adults refer to their parent's spouse/family as "step?" It seems so juvenile.
Technically yes they are your step-siblings.
I suspect they feel similarly weird about it. Perhaps this is a bonding opportunity if everyone is at least basically cool.
No need for it to be a Capital T thing, you know?
Anonymous
12/16/2024 16:58
Subject: As an adult, what do you refer to step family as?
That’s your dad’s wife and those are her kids.
Anonymous
12/16/2024 16:54
Subject: As an adult, what do you refer to step family as?
Anonymous wrote:Nope. If you didn't live with them, and CERTAINLY if you've never even met them, they're not your step-sisters.
Right. It could be semantics from his wife's perspective. I considered that referring to them as my dad's wife's kids sounds a bit cold, but IMO, that is what they are. There is no blended family warmth, so I don't feel the need to portray it as such. When I think of step-siblings, I think of Greg and Marcia Brady. There needs to be other titles for adult blended families.
Anonymous
12/16/2024 16:43
Subject: As an adult, what do you refer to step family as?
Nope. If you didn't live with them, and CERTAINLY if you've never even met them, they're not your step-sisters.
Anonymous
12/16/2024 16:41
Subject: As an adult, what do you refer to step family as?
My dad remarried a few years ago. I am 44. His wife seems okay, but there is only limited interaction when I visit. About a year ago, she asked me to call her "Momma Lynn." I respectfully declined and continued calling her "Ms. Lynn." Last week, she referred to her grown daughters as my step-sisters. I've never met either of her daughters. I associate stepfamilies with blended families, which were introduced from birth to 17 years. Do full-grown adults refer to their parent's spouse/family as "step?" It seems so juvenile.