DW of 30 years, huge extended family of 18 nieces/nephews.

I stopped the insanity about a decade ago. We used to do a Secret Santa where each cousin “bought” for “just one” cousin AND the aunts and uncles also ONLY had to buy for ONE. This was further complicated when one family moved overseas. I had to do the shopping, wrapping, mailing for my young DC. It became too complicated, stressful and expensive.l, so I likely angered my family of origin to say that we were not participating anymore in the interest of simplicity.

Once you start mailing gift cards and or clicking on Amazon gift links, you’re done.

I volunteer for a local charity that gives actual toys and gifts for children only up to age 8. Older than 8 get gift cards. This is all from decades of experience and client input.

Anonymous wrote:I have 2 nephews ages 14 and 16 and a niece who is in college who is 18. I have given nice birthday and Christmas presents since they were born and I am thinking of stopping at the age of 18.

We don’t see them during the holidays. Should I tell my sister beforehand that I don’t plan on sending this year?

If not at age 18 when would the right age be?

We stop at 18.

When the number of nieces and nephews went over 10 we switched to house gifts, so age doesn't matter.

Anonymous wrote:I have 2 nephews ages 14 and 16 and a niece who is in college who is 18. I have given nice birthday and Christmas presents since they were born and I am thinking of stopping at the age of 18.

We don’t see them during the holidays. Should I tell my sister beforehand that I don’t plan on sending this year?

If not at age 18 when would the right age be?

For DH’s nephews and nieces, we stopped when they went to college, unless we were celebrating with them. Their parents stopped sending gifts to our children when we stopped sending gifts. Our kids were in lower ES at the time. So, if you have younger children, just know that that might happen.

My sister’s children are close in age with my children and we still give gifts to them and she still gives gifts to my children. They are all in the low to mid 20’s. We celebrate together most years. We tried to do everything other year with DH’s family, but they are not as interested and we were out of sync with them.

27. 2 out if 4 of them never acknowledged the gifts at all several times. So, that was easy. My husband used to get 5 bucks for his BS from his aunt well into his 50s.

Still doing it at 21. Would feel rude to get something for their younger sib and not them.

We do big graduation (from high school) present and then that's it.

If your sister is sending your kids gifts, then I think you need to continue. If you stop at 18, I would stop for all of them. Weird to just send to two kids.

My aunt still sends me $100 for my birthday and Christmas. My mother is extremely annoyed by this because she feels she then has to reciprocate by sending the same to my cousin, who married a rich guy.

If you have a relationship and see them AND they say thank you, I continue.

I stopped at 18.

I also don't see my niece at holidays most years. And I only ever get acknowledgements of my efforts when she particularly loves a gift, which is not all that often. So I just decided to drop the rope.

Ask your sister.

It will fade at some point.

You just want to avoid hurt feelings and fallout.

The slow fade is to switch to gift cards because they are less fun than gifts.

Wish I knew - my DH’s oldest nephew is 40 and we still “have” to get him, and his family, a gift….

We did cash thru undergrad, but I only have 2 total so it wasn't a huge outlay.

I have 2 nephews ages 14 and 16 and a niece who is in college who is 18. I have given nice birthday and Christmas presents since they were born and I am thinking of stopping at the age of 18.

We don’t see them during the holidays. Should I tell my sister beforehand that I don’t plan on sending this year?

If not at age 18 when would the right age be?