"It's just a few hours!", said all the abusers and enablers.

A few pleasant hours for them, and stress/anger/humiliation for the victims who will have to process their suffering for a much longer period.

Not a fair deal, OP. You've got to respect other people's boundaries.

Anonymous wrote:Even worse than the OPs are all the commenters who pretend that the 26th or 27th are just as good as the 24th or 25th (except when it comes to their side of the family, of course).

The OP of one thread today specified she's seeing her parents on the 24th, and she doesn't want to see her in-laws on the 25th. Seems reasonable in this context to offer the 26th. I did not see a recent thread where OPs were truly unfair to their in-laws.

Anonymous wrote:There said it. It is a few hours, stop trying to justify being a jerk. We all hate our in-laws and even some of our families, but you model being a decent person once a year.

What if your parents/in-laws live across the country and rather than a few hours, inviting them to spend Christmas with you inevitably entails them insisting on staying with you for 10+ days in your too small house (because they want to make the travel worth their while)?

In that case does one have your permission to occasionally want to have a stress free holiday period and to devote time to their nuclear family?

Karma is a b_ch as people like you like to say here without realizing that not being invited to ruin your adult children's Christmas is your karma!

Even worse than the OPs are all the commenters who pretend that the 26th or 27th are just as good as the 24th or 25th (except when it comes to their side of the family, of course).

No.

I can't relate to someone like you, OP. Some close relatives can be obstreperous or downright abusive. There is no law that states that one is obligated to suffer stress and strife, particularly during the Holiday season. There is no religion, no moral code, no humanistic or ethical point of view, that seeks to push unpleasant guests onto the scene.

Just people like you. I wouldn't invite you either.

Best wishes for the Holiday season.

Nope, no way. We are not going to ruin Christmas for our kids catering to rude, selfish, MAGAs. They can entertain themselves and giggle at how many families will be destroyed with deportations, banning healthcare for women, kicking people off Medicare, and all the other disgusting stuff they wish happens.

MYOB. I’m the caregiving kid who spends every day cleaning up after him, while my siblings do nothing for him. I can take one day off to be with my kids at home.

Maybe you need to read this article. Also, newsflash, not everyone lives near family. It’s not always an option to only spend a “few hours” with them on Christmas. It may involve expensive travel, hotels, rental cars, PTO, cranky children, and lots of other stressors.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/wellness/2024/12/10/christmas-alone-joy-solitude-holidays/

The people who abused me? In every way? And have continued to try to ruin my life as an adult? No thanks.

I think this needs some caveats about abuse etc. There are legit reasons to cut off family.

But assuming they're just annoying, yes, agree.

Anonymous wrote:There said it. It is a few hours, stop trying to justify being a jerk. We all hate our in-laws and even some of our families, but you model being a decent person once a year.

If you had behaved in a manner that made your kids actually want to see you then you wouldn’t have to be here whining.

Anonymous wrote:There said it. It is a few hours, stop trying to justify being a jerk. We all hate our in-laws and even some of our families, but you model being a decent person once a year.

I completely agree. My in-laws are super annoying and clueless but well-meaning. We always try to include them whenever possible. It’s sometimes frustrating to my teens (the grandparents ask annoying questions and give unsolicited advice) but I think it’s a great lesson in proper behavior for my teens.

Someone didn't get an invite

There said it. It is a few hours, stop trying to justify being a jerk. We all hate our in-laws and even some of our families, but you model being a decent person once a year.