Treats from good bakeries like Paris Baguette are a good option too.

I forgot to mention for amazing helpers, I found a way to bypass the whole tip thing. Besides giving to the general fund, if they happen to mention being engaged or pregnant, I ask if there is a registry or around the holidays I casually ask if they have a holiday wish list anywhere and if they don't, but decide to set one up, please let me know, wink. They I get them something want, sent to their home and add a note of thanks with some detail about why we value them...as many words as allowed.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: The community has a policy against tipping individual staff members and has solicited money for a fund that is used to pay out tips to all of the workers (including kitchen staff etc.).

ummm

What? most good places have that in place. My parents CCRC does. Then they have a general fund, which does very well and everyone (including all the behind the scenes workers) get a nice holiday bonus/tip.

Give to the general fund. Write a thank you note and let them know you contributed to the general fund in their honor and wish you could have given to them directly.

I would not give chocolates or junk. I had a friend who worked at one of these places as she went through college and stuff gets dumped because they can only stand to have so much junk around. One family did fancy pears and that was a hit, but likely quite expensive. Another family did homemade granola bars. Do you really want the staff to be on a sugar high and then a bad sugar crash while dealing with your parents?

Anonymous wrote:Don't put them in the position of having to turn it down or report it to their management. You could create more work for them or get them fired.
Maybe a nice email to their supervisor about how much you appreciate them would be good.

This was my thought. If the facility emphasizes the policy so much to the residents and families, they are surely telling staff not to take anything private. There are probably plenty of fantastic, hardworking people in the back of the house that you never see who get no tips or gifts otherwise.

If you insist on giving them something extra, I would ask for their home addresses or some way to send it to them that is not at their workplace. If you are not comfortable asking for home addresses then that's that.

Don't put them in the position of having to turn it down or report it to their management. You could create more work for them or get them fired.
Maybe a nice email to their supervisor about how much you appreciate them would be good.

Donate to the fund and then bring something edible they can share with their coworkers. I work in healthcare and every place I've worked as has had a pretty strict policy about individuals being gifted things. Sometimes people don't care. But I've also seen coworkers report other coworkers for receiving a private gift card or tip and keeping it. I wouldn't risk it.

Amazon is good.

I just donated to the general fund because I didn’t want anyone getting in trouble. There are a few fabulous employees I’d like to individually recognize but I don’t think there’s a way to do that. Maybe I’ll bring in cupcakes for the whole unit or something similar.

Anonymous wrote: The community has a policy against tipping individual staff members and has solicited money for a fund that is used to pay out tips to all of the workers (including kitchen staff etc.).

ummm

If you are already tipping them through the general fund, and you are going to privately tip them although the rule is not to, just give them cash. Although you are spending a small fortune, you must know that these staff members doing this work are severely underpaid.

Another idea (we did this for staff at FILs facility), is buy lunch for the staff from a local restaurant.

I'd give them like, $20 each worth of "fancy" coffee or tea or hot cocoa or something like that.

agree to just contribute to the general fund as they ask you to do. a nice handwritten holiday card/note would be nice but it sounds like you don't really have anything nice to say?

If they specifically say not to tip them, then DON'T TIP THEM.

My dad moved into a memory care facility in October in NJ and due to his rapid decline has required the support of supplemental individual aides who are employees of the facility that my mom is paying for in addition to the very expensive facility fees. [I'll save the rant on how crazy expensive and mixed up this system is for another day.] The community has a policy against tipping individual staff members and has solicited money for a fund that is used to pay out tips to all of the workers (including kitchen staff etc.). Its a nice gesture and we have contributed to the general fund.

That being said, we feel like we should give a holiday gift/tip to the 2-3 individual caregivers who are regularly assigned to my dad. My dad is vulnerable and depends on these aides for everything from giving him a shower to changing his Depends.
He is safe and his bodily needs are being met, but I will note that we've only been moderately happy with the overall services they provide. They spend an awful lot of time on the their phones ignoring my dad as far as we can tell. And they've only been with him for a couple of months.

So, I'm crowdsourcing thoughts on what form and size of a holiday gift to give them. I'm thinking maybe a box of chocolates plus an Amazon gift card of $25 each? Too stingy?

Thanks DCUM