There is no "reasonable". Do what you makes you happy.

Some people never travel, and spend considerable money on farming, horses, sailing, etc. Some people have relatives abroad and for them traveling isn't only vacationing, it's connecting with loved ones.

We are wealthy but in the past decade have only traveled to see our old parents and siblings in Europe and Asia: we go to visit, then add touristy trips in the same country. Our last trip to Japan cost 20K. Disney is in Tokyo or Paris, where we also have relatives. We've never done Disney in the US, because it's too much of a hassle.

We hope to travel to more places when we have more free time. Time is really the obstacle here, not money as such.

$50K at least.

Anonymous wrote:I think you should look at your overall budget and if it can support $12,500 (5% of your income), I’d use that as a travel budget. And since I already know you’ll never do that, just do half. Set aside $5000, an amount that I think will let you sleep at night. Just try 1 vacation that way and see if you feel it was worth it. Or take 2 vacations for $2500! I think you’ll find the level of comfort and enjoyment is worth the extra money, but also not so much that you’re splurging or blowing a budget. It’s a balance. As the kids get older you’re going to want to fly somewhere, show them things, maybe do Disney. Think of it as part of giving them an enriching and happy childhood.

We actually have been to disney because we have a bunch of family in Florida and have always like, added a day here and there on a trip to see them or something. And I will say that one thing that has made me really start to reexamine is the last time we did this, instead of cheaping out and doing like, one night and one day fly by at Disney on our way to some random relatives house I just booked like four nights at a Disney resort and just did it. Pretended money wasn't real and just sucked it up and did it. And having a vacation that was totally in our control (not at the whims of a grandparent planning or other family tagging along or whatever) and comfortable and relaxed was in fact SO much better. Everyone had a great time, we bought $250 light sabers like lunatics! It was fun. And that seemed like a totally reckless trip but in retrospect I have thought maybe I need to be slightly more reckless. Not buying light sabers every month reckless but a step up from 'pay 1500 for a place that doesn't have a dishwasher' reckless.

Thank you this has been very a reassuring and confidence boosting thread and not in a typical DCUM way. My cousins are all getting together for a trip this winter and in order to come our portion would be very expensive (like 3k) because we need two bedrooms and my cousins are all singletons but this will be a very good trip and having space will be good and one family member is really going through a difficult time and this is really like, the right thing to do to go on this trip and I was letting my money anxiety get in the way. This is very expensive but it is not 'put our family in debt' expensive and life is too short to never be a little reckless.

I think you should look at your overall budget and if it can support $12,500 (5% of your income), I’d use that as a travel budget. And since I already know you’ll never do that, just do half. Set aside $5000, an amount that I think will let you sleep at night. Just try 1 vacation that way and see if you feel it was worth it. Or take 2 vacations for $2500! I think you’ll find the level of comfort and enjoyment is worth the extra money, but also not so much that you’re splurging or blowing a budget. It’s a balance. As the kids get older you’re going to want to fly somewhere, show them things, maybe do Disney. Think of it as part of giving them an enriching and happy childhood.

Anonymous wrote:I'm your H, except I plan all of our vacations. Over the years we've gradually eased up on our default frugal inclinations. When I look at lodging choices my top criteria are comfort and location. We never go for luxury, but basic comfort is key, unless we're doing a camping trip specifically. I usually book our family airbnbs so we can have kitchen and laundry access, both of which save us money. When we stay in hotels we usually go for Hampton Inn or similar.

I don't know where you vacation, but it's hard to fathom that there's nothing in between 1300 a week and 3000.

We're in new england and when you're looking at lakes/ski lodges in particular there really is kind of like, a big jump between what people call 'camps' which is really like a stripped down house and normal houses. There are some things in between but harder to book/find etc

Holidays are meant to be enjoyed - times where you can relax and reenergize. If you are sweating it out in a cabin and miserable - it isn't a holiday / vacation.

I think your budget should be whatever gets you both into the category of enjoying yourselves and feeling relaxed.

I'm your H, except I plan all of our vacations. Over the years we've gradually eased up on our default frugal inclinations. When I look at lodging choices my top criteria are comfort and location. We never go for luxury, but basic comfort is key, unless we're doing a camping trip specifically. I usually book our family airbnbs so we can have kitchen and laundry access, both of which save us money. When we stay in hotels we usually go for Hampton Inn or similar.

I don't know where you vacation, but it's hard to fathom that there's nothing in between 1300 a week and 3000.

We have an $8k travel budget that I stretch with points and miles. But once I have allowed myself to spend a certain amount per year, then I don't have to stress so much about picking the $2000 option instead of the $1300 one. HHI maybe $160K, family of 3.

Anonymous wrote:OP why do you feel better about $1400 than $2300? What does the savings go towards?

I honestly don't even know! We contribute 15% to our 401ks, our kids have decent but not totally amazing 529s, our mortgage is only 3k a month. We have a pretty good investment account (has like ~80k in it) and a healthy checking balance.

My kids are 5/7/9 and we are in our final year of significant childcare costs. I think that it has just been hard to get through these years and it has felt like we had to be really careful to avoid not going into debt. I think we paid like 45k a couple years in childcare costs. In the last 4 years our situation has changed a bit, I got a substantial raise, COVID allowed us to save a decent amount of money, Maybe I just need to mentally adjust to like a new normal.

My dad has a really big scarcity mindset and my mom spends money like it is water and I feel like as a result I have no grip on what is normal. I need a goldilocks moment or something.

OP why do you feel better about $1400 than $2300? What does the savings go towards?

DH and I have the same HHI you do, but no kids. Everyone’s budget is different. We tend to do one big international trip every third year or so for about 15k. The other two years we spend less, something domestic or Caribbean for half that or even less.

Anonymous wrote:It’s some kind of % of income. I googled what is a good travel budget. Somewhere between 5-10% of your income per Google.

Or, 7% of your take home income.

It’s some kind of % of income. I googled what is a good travel budget. Somewhere between 5-10% of your income per Google.

I target ~$2-2,500 for the hotel and fly using jet blue points. That hotel budget gets us into a good hotel with nice amenities but not luxury.

You deserve a bit of pampering on vacation, even if that is access to a great pool so the kids give you some peace while they exhaust themselves.

I know like this is not the place to ask but I feel like I'm struggling a bit mentally with the cost of vacationing.

I tend to be extremely frugal on travel and its worked out but I think my husband is over staying in places that require work. For instance we did a lake trip last summer and it was great but it was a 'camp' and so it was a house but the bathroom was small, the bedroom didn't have any AC, it was rustic. And I think he was a bit, 'this is too rustic'. I think he feels like I still plan travel like it was just the two of us 10 years ago making way less money. And that we can afford to like, have AC at the lake in the summer, but the jump seems like its to 3k a week and that seems so much to me!

We have an absolutely great HHI (~250k) but I also just really balk at spending more than like $1300 a week on accommodations (and I mean for skiing or lake trips on the eastern seaboard, forget flying) but what you can get for that price is pretty weak these days. I kind of feel like I need to ease up a bit?

But I'm also like, what is the amount that a frugal but not extravagant person would expect to spend on a week long vacation for a family of five? I don't want to be so cheap that family vacations are remembered as like, miserable slogs but also don't want to spend irresponsibly.