OP gave the example of texting to figure out dates for an event.

Figuring out dates requires several steps. That's more complicated then just saying hi, especially if they are neurodivergent.

Normal and recently discussed at length here

Anonymous wrote:My child is like this.

I still think it is self centered and disrespectful.

Or they are overwhelmed and busy. So perhaps lay off always reading in something negative.

Respond at the tempo they set. They will get it.

We have a standard weekly call. If either has to adjust the time, we simply text and suggest another time. I know DS is busy, but I insist weekly contact and for now he hasn’t resisted. In fact, I think he enjoys making sure his momma is also okay.

It’s disrespectful and you need to tell him. And ignore his texts when he keeps bugging you.

He does this because you let him get away with it.

Also hurtful, because you know they answer their friends promptly.

My child is like this.

I still think it is self centered and disrespectful.

Normal
We have two in college.

My kids generally check in after a week or so. I do not think it is terrible to ask for some communication after a week or 2.

Normal.

I got a son in College and he knows I don't like it if he doesn't respond so he does responds just to say "I'm busy right now, call you later, bye"

Thanks so much. I like the 24 hour courtesy idea because that doesn't make me look like a nag. It has been getting to me but I also know he's more social now than he ever has been. Extra thanks for not responding with 'land the chopper lady!"

I think it’s perfectly reasonable to communicate your expectations for responses plainly the way you did here, OP.
In fact, you can say that you understand that he had a need to branch out and do his own thing, but that you’ve noticed that when he needs a response to something, he will text or call repeatedly if you don’t respond immediately—and yet if you send a text that requests a response, he often does not respond.
Then maybe suggest that you extend a 24-hour courtesy to each other that if a communication requires a response to a time sensitive question, you will each commit to responding within 24 hours.

I could see my DS doing this in the future. My DD is good at responding and communicating without specific “asks”.

My eldest is in college. We've always had a great relationship. I think this is normal but he only calls when he needs something. An example would be I'm need a few dates for planning purposes. He just doesn't respond. If he needs something he will call/text repeatedly.