Anonymous wrote:Why do you feel you need to have everyone make a fuss over you? Adults that I know don't celebrate brithdays asides from close family.

Nobody needs to make a "fuss." Are you part of a friend group? Do you go out to group dinners for birthdays? I am mystified that this concept seems foreign to you.

This board is...not representative of how most socially adjusted people think.

I will never understand any person over 30 who gets bothered when people don't remember their birthday. Other than messages from family, I would never expect anyone else to remember my birthday. That is way too much narcissistic drama.

Happy birthday

Happy belated birthday!
OP - I hope you did something to celebrate your accomplishments, and treat yourself. You deserve it!

And ultimately, we are responsible for our own happiness.

I’m so sorry. I’ve been there.
What works for me is to ask my friends about their birthdays, then organize a little outing for a drink or walk or something to celebrate. They do that in turn for me, or I just advocate for myself and say “here’s what we are doing for my birthday next month!”

Aw I'm sorry. I try to always wish people a happy birthday. It costs nothing to make someone feel a little special.

Happy belated birthday!

Why do you feel you need to have everyone make a fuss over you? Adults that I know don't celebrate brithdays asides from close family.

How old are you? Most adults don’t celebrate other adults’ birthdays. I think you are the one out of step organizing everyone else’s birthdays. That’s not the norm. It’s nice you do it if that makes you happy, but understand you are the exception to the rule. I have to say your post has a whiff of the martyr to it. Just because you are extra doesn’t mean everyone else has to be.

I moved my bday celebration to the fall because few are around in the summer.

If you want to celebrate, you’ll need to organize a party or other gathering.

Don’t bother organizing for others anymore. Maybe you were raised to be a people pleaser?

What I have learned is that sometimes other people step up, but mostly people need to publicize and plan for their birthdays. People like you - who are proactive organizing gifts or making plans for friends - are rare. Many of us wish we were this organized and thoughtful, but we don't live up to it.

OP, with respect, you need to grow up. Not everyone cares about birthdays as an adult, and it sounds like you're trying to seek validation with all the "doing" on your end. Stop doing that stuff.

I do not follow my friend's birthdays. Some of us are clustered within a month or two and will try to get together and meet up for lunch or something, but no one remembers anyone's precise birthday. I don't care, and they don't either. Because we're grownups with busy lives.

It’s Christmas time. A lot of folks in my family have birthdays last week through January. We all know we are too busy with the holidays to bother with birthdays. When I was a kid I moved my birthday to the summer.

I put everyone's birthday's in my calendar and always make sure to make people feel celebrated. I do that for me. Other people are not birthday remembering people. That's not their thing. I feel celebrated by the people close to me who know it's my birthday. If there's something missing, I let them know what I'd like. If I wanted a wider circle of celebrants, I'd invite people out or over to celebrate with me.

I got a few casual texts, and of course my spouse and parents remembered. Friends? Nope.

I am the friend who goes all out to connect people - I make the reservations, collect Venmo for gifts, buy the cards, make the plans for every "group" birthday, whether it's pals from high school or the ladies from my neighborhood.

I got nothing in return.

I feel so lonesome and sad. I don't know why I am unlovable and forgettable. I'm kind. I'm thoughtful. And apparently, not worth much.