Why is your aunt spending your mom's money at all in this scenario? Does your mom have dementia? Is she not able to pay bills on her own?

I can tell you right now this will not work out nor end well. I give your aunt 2 weeks max.

Aunt is not taking over the accounts. My sister will be able to log in and see all transactions.

How long my aunt will stay with my mom is very unclear, which makes it hard to rent out my aunt's house.

At some point my mom will need more care than my aunt can provide and my mom will move into assisted living. I could see my aunt wanting to stay in my mom's house to visit my mom, and the frequency and duration of those visits decreasing. Its just really unclear what the end point is and likely there will be hurt feelings and tough conversations.

Can you help your aunt prepare her home rent so she can use it for supplemental income? And as long as you and your sister maintain a watchful eye on finances, tight controls over account access, etc, it should be okay. Remember that you may have difficulty "evicting" your aunt someday, but if you are prepared to let her stay in your mom's home or help her move back to her own, you should be okay.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mom is no longer moving into assisted living now that my aunt is moving in with her.

There is no plan for my mom running out of money. I'm trying to put that fear to the side as a very remote possibility. My mom is giving my sister the log ins for all of her credit cards and bank accounts so my sister will be able to track spending and see if anything crazy is happening.

The sisters 3 years apart, my mom is older.

Two apartments would probably be better for their relationship, but it isn't safe for my mom to live alone, so either someone moves in with her or she goes to assisted living.

I mean... do you trust your aunt to not drain the accounts?! That's the elephant in the room here. I don't understand why you don't have power of attorney, or don't have access to your mother's accounts as well.

Yeah, I'd be putting money in an account for aunt to use but not giving her full access to your mom's accounts.

I read this as OP’s sister is taking over the accounts, not the aunt

Take control of the money and give mom an allowance and no access for aunt abovrvtoom and board

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mom is no longer moving into assisted living now that my aunt is moving in with her.

There is no plan for my mom running out of money. I'm trying to put that fear to the side as a very remote possibility. My mom is giving my sister the log ins for all of her credit cards and bank accounts so my sister will be able to track spending and see if anything crazy is happening.

The sisters 3 years apart, my mom is older.

Two apartments would probably be better for their relationship, but it isn't safe for my mom to live alone, so either someone moves in with her or she goes to assisted living.

I mean... do you trust your aunt to not drain the accounts?! That's the elephant in the room here. I don't understand why you don't have power of attorney, or don't have access to your mother's accounts as well.

Yeah, I'd be putting money in an account for aunt to use but not giving her full access to your mom's accounts.

I think you should appreciate your aunt’s offer. Especially if both are happy with the arrangement.

They should both move into assisted living together.

Aunt will drain money that would still be there otherwise. Mom will eventually need more than aunt can do. How do you get aunt out of house if mom is not there?
This doubts fraught because aunt is gold digger.

Anonymous wrote:Mom is no longer moving into assisted living now that my aunt is moving in with her.

There is no plan for my mom running out of money. I'm trying to put that fear to the side as a very remote possibility. My mom is giving my sister the log ins for all of her credit cards and bank accounts so my sister will be able to track spending and see if anything crazy is happening.

The sisters 3 years apart, my mom is older.

Two apartments would probably be better for their relationship, but it isn't safe for my mom to live alone, so either someone moves in with her or she goes to assisted living.

I mean... do you trust your aunt to not drain the accounts?! That's the elephant in the room here. I don't understand why you don't have power of attorney, or don't have access to your mother's accounts as well.

Mom is no longer moving into assisted living now that my aunt is moving in with her.

There is no plan for my mom running out of money. I'm trying to put that fear to the side as a very remote possibility. My mom is giving my sister the log ins for all of her credit cards and bank accounts so my sister will be able to track spending and see if anything crazy is happening.

The sisters 3 years apart, my mom is older.

Two apartments would probably be better for their relationship, but it isn't safe for my mom to live alone, so either someone moves in with her or she goes to assisted living.

Indefinite? Isn't it until your mother gets into assisted living?

The worst case scenario isn't hurt feelings, OP. It's not enough money left over to pay for years in assisted living. Is there a plan for such a scenario?

It sounds like this is an indefinite relationship. Your mom doesn't need help while a broken hip heals or until she moves into a facility in xx months. What is the age gap between sisters? Could helper aunt end up needing supports too? Risky, IMO.

I think it would be better if they sold both properties and got apartments next to each other--still have companionship and can cook for each other, but also have individual spaces.

But I also get along better with my sibling 3000 miles apart and speaking twice a year.

My aunt is moving into my mom's house to help care for her for an undefined period of time. She'll prepare meals, drive to appointments, provide companionship. No cleaning, lifting my mom, personal care, or skilled nursing care. What can be done at the start of this to help this be a positive experience for everyone? I'm thinking of conversations, decisions, check in points along the way. The worst case scenario is hurt feelings near the end of life.

My aunt has good intentions. She and my mom love each other. My mom would say part of the reason they have a good relationship is they have lived thousands of miles apart their entire adult lives. My aunt loves to spend money and will inevitably spend more of my mom's money than my mom would like. Right now my mom is ok with that in exchange for the companionship.

My mom is feeling lonely and vulnerable. My aunt is bored in a small isolated community. She owns her home (no mortgage) but has limited resources to live on and loves to spend money. She started talking about moving in with my mom to care for her when my mom shared what she would be spending on assisted living. (She had a spot and a move in date). There are clear benefits to both my mom and my aunt. I could see my aunt feeling unappreciated at some point. I could see my mom getting tired of financially supplementing my aunt and feeling taken advantage of. It seems this could end poorly for a lot of reasons. Any advice?