Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ambulance at house - happened several times with DC with chronic illness - neighbors stand on the sidewalk and stare. Maybe they’ll catch my eye and ask if everyone’s ok - how to answer- I usually mutter we’re ok. Are they seriously concerned that someone has died? No we are not ok because an ambulance is here and it’s none of your business.

Neighbors will always be curious about ambulances or police activity. When my uncle died, my dad talked to his neighbors to let them know why the ambulance was there. The neighbors sent flowers and offered assistance. Most people have good intentions.

Ambulance Mom PP: this is tough. I get it. It’s not ok to stand and gawk while emergency vehicles are here. Now, a fire - I’ll be outside and will tell you exactly what’s happening and stand and chat. But if an ambulance is here and we’re inside, that’s for a reason. Feel free to text as my next door neighbor has done - something like - let me know if you need anything- we’re awake-just text.

I don’t need a cluster of neighbors hovering and shouting at me like it’s a press conference- as I jump into my car to get to the hospital.

There's a level of interest in people coming and going and their activity that is excessive. Hard to pinpoint the line exactly. Like if I'm friendly with my neighbor and they notice a couch delivery or that my parents were staying with me for a couple weeks, I wouldn't find that weird. Those kinds of things are fairly obvious and it's not weird to notice.

But I have one neighbor who very clearly keeps track of when we leave the house and come back, every delivery, every guest, every time we have a contractor or service person at our house. And comments on it like it's appropriate for them to be tracking all this info. It totally makes me feel like he's just parked at his window all day long and keeping tabs on us in a way that feels creepy.

I also just compare it to myself and I just do not have the time or interest to pay that close attention to my neighbors. I keep an eye out for anything *wrong* at their house because I think that's part of being a good neighbor, and when I talk to them I express an interest in their lives or might comment on some external improvements they've made. But if you asked me what time they leave for work or how often they get packages or whether they had people over for football on Sunday, I couldn't answer those questions because it's none of my business and it's not important for me to know.

Anonymous wrote:A neighbor asking what came in the huge box you now have out for recycling.

Neighbor obviously peered outside to see DS wearing a (summer) job uniform - then asked next day asked me if her DS might be able to apply at the same site. “I saw Larlo in a uniform. Could he get Larlon a job?”

Same neighbor after I painted our front door; are you moving?

Years ago - different neighbor I didn’t know very well -saw me going out to the car, loading luggage, going out to my car, wrangling a dog and a toddler; ambles over to ask if I’m going on a trip and where.

Now we pack night before in the cover of darkness! No garage.

It really is a good idea to have a trusted neighbor keeping an eye on your house while you're away. I had to call my neighbor three times - twice when trees went through their house and once when a drunk driver hit their parked car. Another time I had to locate a family from preschool through the emergency phone tree. A tree went through their house while they were on vacation but their neighbors didn't know how to contact them.

It's better to have a neighbor who can see your house than a friend or relative a few miles away.

I also tell a neighbor I'll be away because the post office's performance with mail holds is problematic, and there's always stray letters.

Anonymous wrote:Ambulance at house - happened several times with DC with chronic illness - neighbors stand on the sidewalk and stare. Maybe they’ll catch my eye and ask if everyone’s ok - how to answer- I usually mutter we’re ok. Are they seriously concerned that someone has died? No we are not ok because an ambulance is here and it’s none of your business.

Neighbors will always be curious about ambulances or police activity. When my uncle died, my dad talked to his neighbors to let them know why the ambulance was there. The neighbors sent flowers and offered assistance. Most people have good intentions.

Neighbors bringing their dogs on trash day to have their sniffari around your garbage bins.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ambulance at house - happened several times with DC with chronic illness - neighbors stand on the sidewalk and stare. Maybe they’ll catch my eye and ask if everyone’s ok - how to answer- I usually mutter we’re ok. Are they seriously concerned that someone has died? No we are not ok because an ambulance is here and it’s none of your business.

You must have missed the post a few weeks ago where several nutters encouraging a neighbor insert themselves into the active EMT scene offering help. Yeah, that's a nosy neighbor.

If an ambulance shows up nearish your house and disturbs you (you can hear the ambulance and fire truck even if no siren), it becomes your business. Maybe you were sleeping and you have been woken up. but doesn't necessarily mean you have a right to know what medical emergency happened because that would be nosy.

Anonymous wrote:Ambulance at house - happened several times with DC with chronic illness - neighbors stand on the sidewalk and stare. Maybe they’ll catch my eye and ask if everyone’s ok - how to answer- I usually mutter we’re ok. Are they seriously concerned that someone has died? No we are not ok because an ambulance is here and it’s none of your business.

You must have missed the post a few weeks ago where several nutters encouraging a neighbor insert themselves into the active EMT scene offering help. Yeah, that's a nosy neighbor.

Anonymous wrote:Ambulance at house - happened several times with DC with chronic illness - neighbors stand on the sidewalk and stare. Maybe they’ll catch my eye and ask if everyone’s ok - how to answer- I usually mutter we’re ok. Are they seriously concerned that someone has died? No we are not ok because an ambulance is here and it’s none of your business.

I saw this in my neighborhood a few weeks ago. The ambulance was there for an elderly neighbor and I presume they were concerned but still!

Oh, I don’t know, perhaps the lady in a pink bathrobe standing at her bay window looking through a pair of binoculars.

“I don’t know, and I don’t want to know.” I close my blinds.

If we go to far and don't have contact with neighbors, we get lonely suburbs where someone can lie dead in their chair for a year before their skeleton is found.

Do you want no contact with neighbors? Do you want them to avoid calling the police if a van pulls up to your house and starts hauling away all your possessions? What are your expectations?

My mom.

"Who's parked outside?"

"Their trash cans are still on the curb." (this is at noon, not 8 PM)

"Now why don't they trim that hedge?"

Anonymous wrote:Ambulance at house - happened several times with DC with chronic illness - neighbors stand on the sidewalk and stare. Maybe they’ll catch my eye and ask if everyone’s ok - how to answer- I usually mutter we’re ok. Are they seriously concerned that someone has died? No we are not ok because an ambulance is here and it’s none of your business.

I'm sorry for your DC's health struggles.

I'm also wrestling with how to act in this situation. Asking feels prying. Not saying anything feels cold.

Ambulance at house - happened several times with DC with chronic illness - neighbors stand on the sidewalk and stare. Maybe they’ll catch my eye and ask if everyone’s ok - how to answer- I usually mutter we’re ok. Are they seriously concerned that someone has died? No we are not ok because an ambulance is here and it’s none of your business.

A neighbor asking what came in the huge box you now have out for recycling.

Neighbor obviously peered outside to see DS wearing a (summer) job uniform - then asked next day asked me if her DS might be able to apply at the same site. “I saw Larlo in a uniform. Could he get Larlon a job?”

Same neighbor after I painted our front door; are you moving?

Years ago - different neighbor I didn’t know very well -saw me going out to the car, loading luggage, going out to my car, wrangling a dog and a toddler; ambles over to ask if I’m going on a trip and where.

Now we pack night before in the cover of darkness! No garage.

What behaviors or activities do you put under category of a neighbor being a busy body or nosy?