why do so many of these sports posts turn into, don’t worry if your kid is flailing in their preferred sport they can run XC? DS has zero interest in running but glad you are having a good experience.

Op—suggest you talk with your DS to see how they are feeling and encourage them to talk with the coach. Have him frame the convo as “what areas do I need to work on” vs “how do I get more playing time”. Continue to have DS lead those conversations. Encourage him to work his ass off in practice. If the combination of communication with coach and extra effort don’t result in more playing time, you may need to look for a new club next season.

One issue is that next year there won’t be a place for you. Our DD was on a team where the coach seemed reluctant to split up an established core group, so we moved up. It was fine and we enjoyed it, but the next year there still wasn’t room on the same she team.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: All youth sports blow because the parents all ruin them.

FTFY. Sure there are exceptions, but in every sport there are teams with parents who are terrible.

nope, cross country is wonderful - zero crazy parents, and ton of ivy and T25 exits for hs “kiddos”

There are only 17 kids on D1 XCountry rosters.

Best case a team is recruiting 5 during your year, which means there are like only 35-40 kids per year recruited at all Ivy schools combined.

Now, I gather recruiting is easy if you have the time. However, I doubt a coach sees your 17 minute time (for a boy), but recruits you because they see where you will project.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: All youth sports blow because the parents all ruin them.

FTFY. Sure there are exceptions, but in every sport there are teams with parents who are terrible.

nope, cross country is wonderful - zero crazy parents, and ton of ivy and T25 exits for hs “kiddos”

Yes because it’s individual and just based on the time your kid gets. The other parents can’t call the coach and cut deals for playing time and the coach can’t screw your kid over by having him play with the crappy kids or benching him for whatever stupid reason.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: All youth sports blow because the parents all ruin them.

FTFY. Sure there are exceptions, but in every sport there are teams with parents who are terrible.

nope, cross country is wonderful - zero crazy parents, and ton of ivy and T25 exits for hs “kiddos”

Anonymous wrote:I think your best option is to ride out the season playing on the older team and then reevaluate. It doesn't sound like he's been on the team long so there's a chance that coach will play him more as the season goes on/he improves. See how he meshes with the team. Are you seeing growth in his skills etc? Be ready to move him to a new club if you do not like what you are seeing.

Or just quit and he can spend his time doing things that make him happy, instead of being mentally mind f-ed by some coach who probably has a third grade education.

I think your best option is to ride out the season playing on the older team and then reevaluate. It doesn't sound like he's been on the team long so there's a chance that coach will play him more as the season goes on/he improves. See how he meshes with the team. Are you seeing growth in his skills etc? Be ready to move him to a new club if you do not like what you are seeing.

Anonymous wrote: All youth sports blow because the parents all ruin them.

FTFY. Sure there are exceptions, but in every sport there are teams with parents who are terrible.

Hockey blows because the parents all ruin it. Guarantee parents complained about your kid moving up, so the coach is appeasing them by not playing him.

If you find a 16U team to move to, those parents will also complain that it’s not fair to have a new kid join and as a bonus, they probably won’t speak to you.

So, your kid is screwed either way.

In my experience, the 18u team isn't "playing up".

Most kids get recruited at the 17u level. Maybe soccer or hockey is different (I mention those sports because OP talks about "shifts'), but the 17u team is often the premier team.

18u is an after-thought. Many times a HS coach that also runs a travel program will have one, mainly because you can get your recruited athletes back (assuming they committed after 17u), and the team can play together for one last season.

I don't know your kid's age, but I would try to get back to a younger team.

Different sport, but my daughter has often played up, including entire seasons. It has paid off greatly, and her skills advanced. Simply practicing with the older, more advanced players gave her a leg up, and while her playing time initially was less, she became a starter within a year. She has also played two age groups up and seen at least 50% playing time. This started when she was 9 and has continued. She is now 15.

I know someone who had this experience, but at a younger age. After the season was over the player switched organizations back to their regular age division, where they are doing as well as expected. I'd think after this if you want to move back down it will involve an organization switch for everyone's comfort.

That said, I would think the right answer is dependent on goals and whether or not the experience is still good even when riding the bench.

OP here--to clarify: we did ask how it would impact playing time and coach confirmed DS would get less however we did not press for specific time/shift estimates because we didn't think we'd get a real answer. We also didn't feel like we could say no--even though that was never explicitly stated.

My DD's birthday allows her to pick between playing at grade level or playing one age down (a different sport). The club director offered to accommodate her at age level. In hindsight we should have discussed the details of the offer (most importantly the team level and the play time). We declined the offer because we felt like she would have better opportunities playing down. The top team at each age group is typically coached by better coaches (coaches don't often fight over coaching teams 2 and 3, and in many cases you end up with poorer coaching, parent coaches, or both). The top team would also have better players, even though you can't always directly compare the top team at one age level with the second team one age up. Better players would mean better quality practice and less frustration during games. Assuming that she would make the top team at both age levels, this would likely result in more play time in the lower age team. That was our thought process, I hope it answers some of your questions and it helps others.

DS got invited to play up with the 18u. "Invite" might not be the best word--it was more of a "we'd like you to join the 18u team"--and there were no promises made. We understood that his playing minutes would go down (he was playing on the top line with his age group), but thought that the higher level would be good because he'd be facing stronger competition. However, after about a month, DS is getting maybe three shifts a game regardless of whether we are winning, losing, league game or tournament. Is practicing with the 18u team worth the tradeoff of minimal game experience? We are truly doubting whether the move was the right call, but then again not sure we could have said "no thanks." Looking for guidance from anyone who has been in a similar situation--Should we have said no to the move? Can we request to move back down? Do we just ride it out? This is ice hockey, but I imagine this scenario has played out in other sports as well.