Anonymous
Post 11/11/2024 08:23     Subject: Coping with night before custody transition
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why no communication? Not even phone calls? That doesn’t seem healthy for parent or kid. Can non custodial parent have dinner with kid in middle of off week? If both parents do this, it’s still “fair” in terms of time.


Would love to see them mid-week for dinner but not an option. Order states (and for good reason) that transitions are to be through school.

Considering that, any other ideas that might work for us? Thanks


Other than going to the courts, no. You can still have a mid week dinner through school. Not sure why that's the issue.
Anonymous
Post 11/11/2024 08:22     Subject: Coping with night before custody transition
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Wondering why no communication? Even when you have the children, they should be able to communicate with the other parent. Are they very young?


Other parent refuses despite order that states at least one call and at a time agreed upon by both parents.

One child is a teen and the other is younger. Both are too scared to call me on their own. They will sometimes call (maybe once a month) but only if being directed to convey message and other parent is standing there, sometimes whispering what to say or making snide remarks about me while child and I are trying to talk.

I know it’s unhealthy and not okay but Im at a loss for what to do about it if other parent refuses to cooperate. It’s already in the order so what good is going to court? No matter what judge adds/changes, the kids are still going to be afraid to talk to me freely. Wouldn’t it would do more harm than good for them to be forced to communicate?


Terrible but the courts won't do anything. These mothers are cruel. I had to stop being friends with moms like these.
Anonymous
Post 11/11/2024 08:22     Subject: Coping with night before custody transition
Anonymous wrote:Why no communication? Not even phone calls? That doesn’t seem healthy for parent or kid. Can non custodial parent have dinner with kid in middle of off week? If both parents do this, it’s still “fair” in terms of time.


Would love to see them mid-week for dinner but not an option. Order states (and for good reason) that transitions are to be through school.

Considering that, any other ideas that might work for us? Thanks
Anonymous
Post 11/11/2024 08:21     Subject: Coping with night before custody transition
There should be communication though often mothers will alienate dads by never allowing it. I know three mothers who did this (i am a mother).
Anonymous
Post 11/11/2024 08:19     Subject: Coping with night before custody transition
Anonymous wrote:Wondering why no communication? Even when you have the children, they should be able to communicate with the other parent. Are they very young?


Other parent refuses despite order that states at least one call and at a time agreed upon by both parents.

One child is a teen and the other is younger. Both are too scared to call me on their own. They will sometimes call (maybe once a month) but only if being directed to convey message and other parent is standing there, sometimes whispering what to say or making snide remarks about me while child and I are trying to talk.

I know it’s unhealthy and not okay but Im at a loss for what to do about it if other parent refuses to cooperate. It’s already in the order so what good is going to court? No matter what judge adds/changes, the kids are still going to be afraid to talk to me freely. Wouldn’t it would do more harm than good for them to be forced to communicate?
Anonymous
Post 11/11/2024 08:18     Subject: Coping with night before custody transition
Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand. They don’t want to go back to their mother?


Why do you assume op is a man?
Anonymous
Post 11/11/2024 07:18     Subject: Coping with night before custody transition
I don’t understand. They don’t want to go back to their mother?
Anonymous
Post 11/11/2024 07:15     Subject: Coping with night before custody transition
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Wondering why no communication? Even when you have the children, they should be able to communicate with the other parent. Are they very young?


I had this situation too. NC parent just didn’t call or contact. The kids would ask about them repeatedly. It was sad.


Then get the kid their own phone that you can call.
Anonymous
Post 11/11/2024 07:03     Subject: Coping with night before custody transition
Anonymous wrote:Wondering why no communication? Even when you have the children, they should be able to communicate with the other parent. Are they very young?


I had this situation too. NC parent just didn’t call or contact. The kids would ask about them repeatedly. It was sad.
Anonymous
Post 11/11/2024 06:52     Subject: Coping with night before custody transition
Agree with all the above posters.
Both of you need to agree to a nightly phone call with other parent.
Maybe a dinner midweek too. What you’re doing right now is not healthy for your kids.
Anonymous
Post 11/11/2024 06:36     Subject: Re:Coping with night before custody transition
You need to update the custody agreement to include communication during the week apart. Have a set time to call. Or have a meal midweek.
Anonymous
Post 11/11/2024 06:34     Subject: Coping with night before custody transition
Have your tried nesting where the parents come and go and the child stays in the home?
Anonymous
Post 11/11/2024 04:39     Subject: Coping with night before custody transition
Why no communication? Not even phone calls? That doesn’t seem healthy for parent or kid. Can non custodial parent have dinner with kid in middle of off week? If both parents do this, it’s still “fair” in terms of time.
Anonymous
Post 11/11/2024 04:38     Subject: Coping with night before custody transition
Wondering why no communication? Even when you have the children, they should be able to communicate with the other parent. Are they very young?
Anonymous
Post 11/11/2024 04:33     Subject: Coping with night before custody transition
Has anyone figured out how to better manage the sadness and stress that inevitably creeps up on the last day with your kids before they go to the other parent’s home? In our situation, there is no communication between the kids and the non-custodial parent for a week, sometimes more. So the night before is the last opportunity for bonding and good conversation for awhile. I hate it, especially because it’s not getting easier, only harder.