Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My Q is how do they feel about being with someone with so little honor? The ability to lie every day about something so significant is not something I value in a friend or an intimate.

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I suppose the AP and the cheater have the same values. Thus, the eyeroll above.

You need to understand the psychology of a woman
Women are emotional. Many of them are driven by love more than lust. When a woman is in a relationship with a guy with whom she feels deep emotional connection (and perhaps love) nothing and I say this nothing will stand in the way. The guy could be married for 30 years 5 kids she doesn't give a f**k. In her mind he pursued her. In her mind he chose to cheat
In her mind he chose to betray her wife. In her mind he chose to potentially disturb his family life and kids.

Does she think she bear any responsibility? Nope. If he abandons his family and ask her to marry him she will say yes. She won't be worrying about the possibility he can do the same to her. She is in love now she thinks she is special she thinks he will change for her.

I recently attended a wedding that my wife was invited to and when I heard that the bride was the mistress and the guy who left his wife and family for her was married for 25 years and had 3 kids. Yet this woman was all smile happy and excited on her wedding day. Incredible.

Hey you could say the same thing about men. Some humans hide behind the fact that they are "not perfect" to make some very hurtful decisions

Anonymous wrote:Why should they? They never made vows to anyone. The scorned wives in here need to direct their anger to the real culprit.

+1 NP

Anonymous wrote:My Q is how do they feel about being with someone with so little honor? The ability to lie every day about something so significant is not something I value in a friend or an intimate.

⬆️⬆️⬆️🙄

My Q is how do they feel about being with someone with so little honor? The ability to lie every day about something so significant is not something I value in a friend or an intimate.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why should they? They never made vows to anyone. The scorned wives in here need to direct their anger to the real culprit.

I feel pity towards my stbx's AP. She knows not the issues that he has never addressed. But I know that this wounded mild-mannered great guy whose wife is a psycho flipped our dining room table in a rage (obvs caused by me) and punched me (I provoked him.) To her I say: you can have it. I don't care what she feels. And maybe in some way I'm actually grateful to her for getting me out of this marriage.

^^ and adding to this since I can't edit.... that episode forced me to take a deep hard look at our relationship and my role in fostering this kind of dynamic. I've been doing a ton of work to own my part in the collapse of my marriage (saw it coming on some level). But I'm the one who's always been willing to work on myself and get help even though I'm the problem according to STBX. The last year has been really enlightening. It's not lost on me that when I started doing the work again and being honest with myself, he decided to cut and run. I stopped being so reactive and defensive and started rebuilding my self-esteem. He's still pointing fingers at me but as I said to him "there's not a single finger you are pointing at me that I can't point back at myself. I just don't see you owning any part of this." and he's not owning it, he's seeking comfort from another woman. I feel like I'm living with a Trump voter who, instead of celebrating a resounding victory, is stuck in a loop of pointing fingers at the Dems and feeling righteous anger. I don't get it but it's not my problem to work through. My head is high and I'm ok with who I am. I have always side-eyed people in long relationships who portray their exes as absolute psychos because what does that say about you that you stayed for so long? Questions I can't answer but it's a huge red flag for me and I think in my case the AP has a lot more to worry about than feelings of guilt. Good luck honey!

Anonymous wrote:Why should they? They never made vows to anyone. The scorned wives in here need to direct their anger to the real culprit.

I feel pity towards my stbx's AP. She knows not the issues that he has never addressed. But I know that this wounded mild-mannered great guy whose wife is a psycho flipped our dining room table in a rage (obvs caused by me) and punched me (I provoked him.) To her I say: you can have it. I don't care what she feels. And maybe in some way I'm actually grateful to her for getting me out of this marriage.

Why should they? They never made vows to anyone. The scorned wives in here need to direct their anger to the real culprit.

I am not cheating. I am single. He is cheating.

No, I don't think about it at all. It will end at some point.

Anonymous wrote:Or do you just not care AT all???

are you being cheated on by your DH?

Not really. They married for papers, live separate lives, and she is getting rid of him the minute the papers come.
The wife may have a bf.

If they cared they wouldn’t be cheating.

The parishioner who had an affair with my friend's husband had a blog. There are a couple entries about God and guilt and blah blah blah in it. She writes well. For an immoral homewrecker.

Of course we feel guilty. It’s horrible. None of this was supposed to happen, and it’s miserable. Yes, I’ve ended it multiple times, but he keeps chasing. I wish it had never started, and I wish I could go back to the day we met and undo everything.

Or do you just not care AT all???