Are they saying "well my kid went to Public HS and is going to Same Ivy" or are they just...sharing where their kid got it?

I hope "elegant comeback" catches on in DCUMland! It's perfectly ridiculous

What's wrong with what you're saying now? "good for them" or "what great news" is all you have to say.

I also usually like "I'm so glad that worked out for you".

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you need a "come back"? Do you need a "gotcha" to feel better about your choices?

So the OP should just sit with the insult in the face of rudeness?

How is saying that my public HS kid also got into Harvard an insult in the face of rudeness? Maybe OP is just sensitive bc she thought her special snowflake was so much better than those dirty public school kids.

Are you sure that's why they are saying it? Or are you just assuming it's shade?

Who cares!! Good lord

That assumes that all people think high school is good for is to get acceptance into a certain prestige-level college. High school is about considerably more. Parents chose schools for many reasons including: academic rigor, course offerings on variety of subject areas, clubs, teams, religious community and overall vibe. My kids are in Christian school since K and I've never said / believed our choice was academically superior to our local public - but I would have chosen it even if it were not for the community and spiritual formation.

Anonymous wrote:Any elegant comeback ideas for when a parent highlights their public school child got into the same college(s) as our private school daughter? The passive-aggressive point they are trying to make is that we wasted our money on private school tuition and we should have just stayed in the public system and would have ended up at the same place. So far, I've been using variations of "Good for you/them!"

What do you want them to say? You share where your child is going to college and they say...nothing?

Are the comments somehow more assertively obnoxious?

Anonymous wrote:Why do you need a "come back"? Do you need a "gotcha" to feel better about your choices?

So the OP should just sit with the insult in the face of rudeness?

Anonymous wrote:I would give the other person a little grace - perhaps you are too sensitive, perhaps they don't mean anything by it, they just phrased it awkwardly. Or perhaps you will have to be the bigger person.
Either way, respond graciously, congratulate the other parent.

+1

Even if you know for a fact they're being passive aggressive, keep to the high road and just say congrats.

"That's wonderful!"
If I'm closer and more emotionally invested with someone I'll say how interesting it is that we all do things differently based on our backgrounds, our research, our gut instincts and our kids can still wind up in the same place. Because it IS interesting.

I’m so glad our kids ended up where they are meant to be.

Why do you need a "come back"? Do you need a "gotcha" to feel better about your choices?

I would give the other person a little grace - perhaps you are too sensitive, perhaps they don't mean anything by it, they just phrased it awkwardly. Or perhaps you will have to be the bigger person.
Either way, respond graciously, congratulate the other parent.

Any elegant comeback ideas for when a parent highlights their public school child got into the same college(s) as our private school daughter? The passive-aggressive point they are trying to make is that we wasted our money on private school tuition and we should have just stayed in the public system and would have ended up at the same place. So far, I've been using variations of "Good for you/them!"