I am 48 divorced and 2 kids. A never married 40+ man had a lot more to offer to a single woman than I do.

He doesn't have expenses related to kids(529, sports, insurance, clothes, you name it etc)
You will never have to be a step mom with him he can give you your own kids
He has more free time no 50% custody
He has no ex wife issue
He is probably still in good shape and health
Since he has never been married and subsequently dumped he still has mostly positive views of women
And on and on

Why wouldn't such a guy be the dream man to s y single woman?

No, they are smart.

I have been in dated with many men in their 40s. Divorced men with kids turned out to be the most interesting and passionate ones. They have a lot to share and talk about that are not related to their kids or previous marriage. Single men on the other hand I didn't have a good experience. They were often boring, seemed depressed etc.

Personally I would give a 40+ divorced man with kids a chance before a 40+ never married no kids man. In my experience men over 40 who have never been married and don't have kids (by choice ) often have major issues

No necessarily, no.

No kids - lots of people don't want kids. Staying true to that will mean they will have limited partners. That's good on them if that's what they want.

No marriage? Really depends. The no kids thing could blow that up (women think it's ok, or they can "change his mind" then realize they can't), or they might be unlucky, or they might not want to be married, or they might be damaged.

But I woudn't make assumptions.

I will say that of the three men I know fairly well who are/were still single after 40 with no kids one seems to have serious commitment issues and is bad to women because of it (unintentionally), another seems career focused and fell into this life (I think he is more unlucky) and I suspect now he is just recalibrated to his lifestyle, and the third was in a long term partnership and did recently get married (no kids is the preference for both).

Women on this board are unlikely to see women's dating app profiles, but it is very common to see women in their late 30s/early 40s list "never married, no kids" as a badge of pride in their profile, so it is not surprising if men see that, think it works both ways and include that as well. (it doesn't work both ways)

Anonymous wrote:Are men over 40 never married no kids red flags?

Generally, yes. But occasionally there are men that take a really long time to mature. But it's pretty rare. There really aren't a lot of wonderful never-married, childless 45 year olds out there - both genders.

Anonymous wrote:With everyone delaying marriage these days, I wouldn't automatically assume it's a red flag. It should be pretty easy to spot red flags past 40 though. If the guy is inflexible, not a good listener, unwilling to change/adapt/compromise, etc., these will all become obvious very quickly.

15:43 here. Yes, that is essential.

With everyone delaying marriage these days, I wouldn't automatically assume it's a red flag. It should be pretty easy to spot red flags past 40 though. If the guy is inflexible, not a good listener, unwilling to change/adapt/compromise, etc., these will all become obvious very quickly.

And then when it happens they can’t handle it, not used to relationships, responsibility, can’t juggle multiple things and this is just the partner without even kids.

The ones that I have found were all red flags. Some combination of workaholic and beyond messy house.

Anonymous wrote:Are men over 40 never married no kids red flags?

Yes. Unless they were just workaholics who were under no particular pressure to settle down earlier. Some men really do want to be at a certain point in their career before even thinking about a LT committed relationship. My DH was one of them. I was very nervous he had had nothing but situationships prior but when he committed, he really did commit. And we have been married for going on 20 years now. I did feel like I was taking a risk though.

For some women yes, for some now. Relationships are very individual. The perfect man for me is not the perfect man for you, and so on. So it just depends.

Depends. Sometimes no - like if they had a long term live in partner for 10+ years, neither wanted to marry for professional reasons, and didn't want kids or couldn't have kids and moved on.

Their living situation and basic lifestyle over the years is important information here.

Are men over 40 never married no kids red flags?