Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This discussion is what happens when unwanted kids are born. Institutions raising kids will never work out to the kid's benefit. Many of those kids will grow up to be dysfunctional adults and produce dysfunctional kids of their own. If only there were a way to prevent unwanted kids from being born....

The death of the parents is what lead most into orphanages back then not parents giving them up

False. Almost 100% of the time it is because the parents want to keep them but cannot afford them. Now, if it is because of the death of a parent, it is usually the father/husband. Harder for a woman to find a new employeed husband to take on her kids than a single father to find a new wife.

Anonymous wrote:This discussion is what happens when unwanted kids are born. Institutions raising kids will never work out to the kid's benefit. Many of those kids will grow up to be dysfunctional adults and produce dysfunctional kids of their own. If only there were a way to prevent unwanted kids from being born....

This.

Anonymous wrote:This discussion is what happens when unwanted kids are born. Institutions raising kids will never work out to the kid's benefit. Many of those kids will grow up to be dysfunctional adults and produce dysfunctional kids of their own. If only there were a way to prevent unwanted kids from being born....

The death of the parents is what lead most into orphanages back then not parents giving them up

This discussion is what happens when unwanted kids are born. Institutions raising kids will never work out to the kid's benefit. Many of those kids will grow up to be dysfunctional adults and produce dysfunctional kids of their own. If only there were a way to prevent unwanted kids from being born....

My grandma and her siblings went to a foster care home/orphanage in upstate New York in the 1920s. Her parents were non-functional but they kept the kids in contact with them. It was a big single building dormitory by gender and age setup.

This was in a paternalistic, company town that was highly functional and successful at providing social services.

There was a heavy paternalistic "the kids are better with us" flavor to this process but overall I believe the activist social service agency was correct. These are difficult calls to make.

The orphanage director took an interest in the siblings. Two went to college. All five became gainfully employed. They remained close as siblings. Some stayed close over the decades to extended family in the same town (people who couldn't or wouldn't take them in).

I later learned that the European farm village the family came from had a tradition of boarding orphans from Vienna for life/for pay. That made me suspect that the family had a totally different view of the normality of foster care than I have today.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dad grew up in an orphanage in chicago, he was born in 1953. It was a catholic orphanage and he lived on a cabin with 7 other boys and a nun. They had church everyday, disgusting food, and really really slim interactions with the outside world. It effed him up majorly. On his 18th birthday they said see ya have a good life and he had no idea about how society functioned. It's affected his entire life.

My dad also grew up in an orphange in chicago! He was born in 1936 and moved out at the age of 13 and got an apartment and a job at a pharmacy. I have a 13 year old now and I can't imagine him living on his own. I don't know my dad does not ever really talk about his life there (and i don't push) but I can't imagine it was good if he left at age 13.

I imagine there were some good ones out there but there is a reason so much literature and theater involve kids growing up in orphanages. It wasn't a happy place. I guess the real question is how much better is the current foster system? But I think its pretty clear that when you put vulnerable kids in a place that often doesn't have enough money to properly run, nothing good will come of it.

Foster care is hit or miss depending on the foster parents. There are some great ones and some really bad ones and most are somewhere in between. It’s very rare for a family to truly treat the kids like their own in less they plan to adopt. I was a foster care worker for years. Most homes were acceptable at best.

Anonymous wrote:Most were fine. They are forgotten.

Only the notorious ones are highlighted today.

No, most were not fine. They survived and got released and had no choice but to figure it out. Same with kids aging out of foster care

Anonymous wrote:Most were fine. They are forgotten.

Only the notorious ones are highlighted today.

Is this opinion or fact?

Anonymous wrote:My dad grew up in an orphanage in chicago, he was born in 1953. It was a catholic orphanage and he lived on a cabin with 7 other boys and a nun. They had church everyday, disgusting food, and really really slim interactions with the outside world. It effed him up majorly. On his 18th birthday they said see ya have a good life and he had no idea about how society functioned. It's affected his entire life.

My dad also grew up in an orphange in chicago! He was born in 1936 and moved out at the age of 13 and got an apartment and a job at a pharmacy. I have a 13 year old now and I can't imagine him living on his own. I don't know my dad does not ever really talk about his life there (and i don't push) but I can't imagine it was good if he left at age 13.

I imagine there were some good ones out there but there is a reason so much literature and theater involve kids growing up in orphanages. It wasn't a happy place. I guess the real question is how much better is the current foster system? But I think its pretty clear that when you put vulnerable kids in a place that often doesn't have enough money to properly run, nothing good will come of it.

Anonymous wrote:Most were fine. They are forgotten.

Only the notorious ones are highlighted today.

Selection bias.

Most were fine. They are forgotten.

Only the notorious ones are highlighted today.

Here: https://blueridgetales.com/foster-falls-girls-industrial-school-suffering-and-success/

Miserable

My dad grew up in an orphanage in chicago, he was born in 1953. It was a catholic orphanage and he lived on a cabin with 7 other boys and a nun. They had church everyday, disgusting food, and really really slim interactions with the outside world. It effed him up majorly. On his 18th birthday they said see ya have a good life and he had no idea about how society functioned. It's affected his entire life.

Just heard about Foster Falls in VA. https://www.dhr.virginia.gov/SlideShows/Foster%20Falls/FosterFall_slide_2.html

Were they run like the ones in movies like Secret Garden/Annie or moreso like boarding schools?