Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you do? Or say ?

It’s very frustrating and hurtful.

Tell them to go get a brain scan.


But seriously, it is hurtful. And likely deliberate, a power and control move, bc it destabilizes you, the target.

Start recording everything, keep a log book, go over it with a therapist and determine the patterns of lying, omitting, gaslighting. Then decide if you want to keep living with that or not.

Anonymous wrote:I have emotionally detached entirely, after years of feeling completely gaslighted. I' tried everything. Even when my kids, who are not young adults and teens, tell him that he's wrong (he said or did X instead of Y, as he claims), he persists. I guess he lies to himself.

Whether I manage to divorce remains to be seen, because I don't have the finances yet.

My husband has an ASD/ADHD profile. Not everyone who has that behaves in this way (my son has it, and is as sweet and honest as can be). But I've known others with this profile who did the same thing, so this tendency to rewrite history or have irrational tendencies may be more common with that sort of brain.

Anonymous wrote:What do you do? Or say ?

It’s very frustrating and hurtful.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have emotionally detached entirely, after years of feeling completely gaslighted. I' tried everything. Even when my kids, who are not young adults and teens, tell him that he's wrong (he said or did X instead of Y, as he claims), he persists. I guess he lies to himself.

Whether I manage to divorce remains to be seen, because I don't have the finances yet.

My husband has an ASD/ADHD profile. Not everyone who has that behaves in this way (my son has it, and is as sweet and honest as can be). But I've known others with this profile who did the same thing, so this tendency to rewrite history or have irrational tendencies may be more common with that sort of brain.

90% of dcum threads: Whine, my DH disagrees with me, whine, blah, blah blah blah, whine. I can't divorce yet because I spend money and it is all his. A little bit more added whining. Then an armchair ASD/ADHD diagnosis (and if the OP is real real mad maybe sub in narcissism or sociopathy for ADHD/ASD). Blah blah whine. I isn't me, it's him. Blah blah. Whine.

A. It's a real diagnosis. He refuses to take meds for the ADHD, despite his son, with the same double diagnosis, doing well on Adderall.
B. Great. Blame the victim.
C. Bless you.

Because men like this don't show it when you're dating and getting married.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did you marry such a moron? It’s on you.

Because men like this don't show it when you're dating and getting married. It's the pressure of growing professional responsibilities, maintaining a larger household and parenting children, that pushes them over the edge. Unlike average humans with better executive functioning and socio-emotional coping skills, they don't have as much bandwidth to begin with, but when you meet them when they're carefree bachelors, those handicaps are not visible... yet.

- I wish I didn't know all that.

Anonymous wrote:Why did you marry such a moron? It’s on you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have emotionally detached entirely, after years of feeling completely gaslighted. I' tried everything. Even when my kids, who are not young adults and teens, tell him that he's wrong (he said or did X instead of Y, as he claims), he persists. I guess he lies to himself.

Whether I manage to divorce remains to be seen, because I don't have the finances yet.

My husband has an ASD/ADHD profile. Not everyone who has that behaves in this way (my son has it, and is as sweet and honest as can be). But I've known others with this profile who did the same thing, so this tendency to rewrite history or have irrational tendencies may be more common with that sort of brain.

90% of dcum threads: Whine, my DH disagrees with me, whine, blah, blah blah blah, whine. I can't divorce yet because I spend money and it is all his. A little bit more added whining. Then an armchair ASD/ADHD diagnosis (and if the OP is real real mad maybe sub in narcissism or sociopathy for ADHD/ASD). Blah blah whine. I isn't me, it's him. Blah blah. Whine.

Anonymous wrote:I have emotionally detached entirely, after years of feeling completely gaslighted. I' tried everything. Even when my kids, who are not young adults and teens, tell him that he's wrong (he said or did X instead of Y, as he claims), he persists. I guess he lies to himself.

Whether I manage to divorce remains to be seen, because I don't have the finances yet.

My husband has an ASD/ADHD profile. Not everyone who has that behaves in this way (my son has it, and is as sweet and honest as can be). But I've known others with this profile who did the same thing, so this tendency to rewrite history or have irrational tendencies may be more common with that sort of brain.

Anonymous wrote:I have emotionally detached entirely, after years of feeling completely gaslighted. I' tried everything. Even when my kids, who are not young adults and teens, tell him that he's wrong (he said or did X instead of Y, as he claims), he persists. I guess he lies to himself.

Whether I manage to divorce remains to be seen, because I don't have the finances yet.

My husband has an ASD/ADHD profile. Not everyone who has that behaves in this way (my son has it, and is as sweet and honest as can be). But I've known others with this profile who did the same thing, so this tendency to rewrite history or have irrational tendencies may be more common with that sort of brain.