It simply varies for everyone.

Will add .. If you aren't comfortable or close then don't.

Is it rude to not send a gift for the holidays if we aren’t seeing them? I feel like its one thing to be in the room for Christmas but another to just send them something in the mail. In the past, I have noticed our gifts get left at the grandparent’s house anyways so its more the fun of unwrapping than the gift itself.

I have pushed my DH to do a 529 donation but my DH said it might come off a bit snooty?!

depends on how close you are. the adults out number the kids in my family so their parents discuss with the rest of us - things they want or need. but we also do things like 529 contributions, art supplies (but not glue or glitter), coloring books, gift cards for kid friendly food, baking supplies, books. you can also find great toddler toys at the thrift stores.

It's ok to skip it, yes. My kids have a lot of local family and get loads of gifts. It's uneven who exactly they come from on my side and that is FINE with me. Sometimes an aunt/uncle will gift them, sometimes a grandparents, sometimes not. But they have plenty and are NOT even noticing.

That said, kids love little things. Get them something little and they'll be thrilled. It doesn't always need to be The Perfect Gift. A beach ball would go over just as well and a $100 gift. Especially if you blow it up and play living room volleyball with them.

As they get older, I really enjoy getting things we can use. Games, sports stuff, etc. Mine are super into crafty gifts, but that works for many kids too.

This subject comes up every year. If you want out of gift giving,and receiving, inform the people it involves NOW. Don't wait until mid December.

Our family just does Christmas. Of all the families, our kids are the eldest. The childless uncle gives to all the kids. The other uncle never gave to our kids so we just do books and nice condition hand-me-downs for their kids and don't feel bad about not being more extravagant since I took them never giving our kids anything as a sign that they weren't all that into gifts.

I’d be so happy to receive nothing and give nothing. One side of family heavily into buying gifts for adults; the uncles and aunts too. Or at least the blood siblings. DH gets into it and then spends money (without consultation) on things the nieces hate. What a waste.

We live near my husbands siblings and we all have a small army of kids close in age so there are quite a few birthday parties. We always bring a present but we have our kids as the gift giver. The cousins are all great friends so I’m fine with it.

I gave my nieces and nephews toys and clothes when they were smaller. Now they are teens and teens. Since about age 7 I give them money for Christmas - ranging from $50-75 per kid - so they can get something they like. I had relatives who always gave me cash and it was awesome going to the mall and buying stuff for myself.

No you don’t need to give them gifts. Don’t set a precedence.

Anonymous wrote:Different families have different cultures and traditions. It depends on yours.

This. I give books for every holiday or major event (but I’m a teacher, so it’s kind of my thing). If I didn’t do books, I’d probably do 529 contributions for birthdays and Christmas, plus a very small gift.

How do their parents feel? Maybe a token gift and something special for the future or the college fund. I like ornaments at Christmas, it starts a collection for the children and gets packed away.

I have a niece and two nephews to whom I am very close, and I have always enjoyed spoiling them. If you’re giving with resentment you should figure out something else.

Maybe an experience type gift or a check for their 529? Or skip it if you feel like you do not know them that well.

Different families have different cultures and traditions. It depends on yours.

Do we really need to give presents for every birthday and christmas and every time we see them (maybe once a year)? It seems like a lot of junk and realistically, these toddlers a) have way too many toys already and b) won’t even know or appreciate who it is from.