Anonymous wrote:As a person listening, I prefer “Larla’s father” or “my ex-husband.”

“My ex” feels kind of hostile. It would make me mildly uncomfortable as the listener.

I say my ex. I don’t want to even add husband to it. It’s much better than “my cheating, lying ex”. I’m hoping my hostility eventually fades over years but it’s hard to say a respectful word about him now

For stories in the past: Husband at the time

That Jerk?

I still call my ex my husband. If I’m referring to something that happened in the past while telling a story but it’s not because I’m delusional or want to pretend we are still together.

Anonymous wrote:As a person listening, I prefer “Larla’s father” or “my ex-husband.”

“My ex” feels kind of hostile. It would make me mildly uncomfortable as the listener.

+1 It sounds so hateful.

As a person listening, I prefer “Larla’s father” or “my ex-husband.”

“My ex” feels kind of hostile. It would make me mildly uncomfortable as the listener.

I always say former.

Eh I sometimes say “my wife” in reference to XW.

My ex wife still refers to me as her husband when she talks to people. I don't talk much about her and when I do I refer to her as "my ex"

We amicably divorced sometimes I say my H, sometimes I say my ex, sometimes I say my former h, sometime I say “their dad”, sometime I say his name.

I don’t think it’s odd or something I have to worry about.

If you don’t have kids just call him your Ex or use his first name if the other person knows you both.

Stop talking about him though. Grieve and process and move on.

If you do have kids and coparenting, just call him the children’s dad. To them and outsiders.
Your dad, my children’s dad, etc.

You'll get there. Don't worry about it.

Father of the kids.

Nope. He went from being "that fscking guy" to "my kids' dad" and the latter stuck.

He was never a husband, never acted like a husband, apparently never wanted to be a husband, so it has been easy to remove the title.

Has anyone else had trouble remembering to say ex when they refer to their former spouse after a divorce in conversations?

The marriage was abusive toward the end due to exDH’s mental health issues. I have some warm memories of good times but for the most part am very relieved to be out. So it’s disconcerting when my brain automatically reaches for the word husband when talking about him. It’s only been a few months that it was finalized. Anyone else experience this?