Anonymous wrote:Experienced parents with kids already in college: what are the situations or occurrences that were the most unexpected and stressful in their first year of college? How did they manage? And did it turn out to be OK?

Math
Navigating the social scene

He figured both out by the second semester.

Anonymous wrote:Making friends. In some way or another her friend group until she left for college had evolved from her friend group from Kindergarten. She never was in a situation where she knew no one and had to make new friends. The first semester was hard trying to navigate that. Her first roommate left after first semester because she was homesick and even before then she went home on the weekends. Her second roommate was nice but already had an established friend group and my daughter didn't feel like she fit in with them. By the end of second semester she had formed a good group of friends through a club sport and activities.

Same type of situation for my daughter. Big, tight friend groups from kindergarten throughout HS. In second year of college and hasn’t complained about lack of friends, but it’s not the same as her childhood group.

The time commitment of you are pledging a fraternity. The “education” program wasn’t great either but he managed. We were warned about this so made sure he had a bit easier schedule first semester. Thank god it is over now.

Making friends. In some way or another her friend group until she left for college had evolved from her friend group from Kindergarten. She never was in a situation where she knew no one and had to make new friends. The first semester was hard trying to navigate that. Her first roommate left after first semester because she was homesick and even before then she went home on the weekends. Her second roommate was nice but already had an established friend group and my daughter didn't feel like she fit in with them. By the end of second semester she had formed a good group of friends through a club sport and activities.

The level of work each class takes and time management for homework, projects and exams. Advocating for themselves with professors and navigating a bureaucratic system. Freshman dorm experiences - not a great place to meet people, no a/c and getting use to communal bathrooms and showers. Roommate was hardly around but was compatible. Always being tired and stressed.

They didn't understand that they could drop a class if they were not doing well and missed the drop date.

Anonymous wrote:He’s slowly meeting people but overall little stress. I was a bit worried about him moving from small private high school to a large flagship college but so far so good and little stress. All As.

My kid FYI has a single. This was not what he requested, but it solves his problems with light sleeping. So no roommate drama.

My guess is that roommate compatibility is in the top-5.

We know of many many many cases where this was an issue, both for randomly assigned roommates and also for friends who asked the university to have them share a room.

A colleague slept on a random sofa in a computer room in an academic building across campus for most of Freshman year - because roommate had a light class load and stayed up drinking every night (i.e., not just a weekend celebration). Colleague wondered if that roommate was an alcoholic. Regardless, it was well nigh impossible for colleague to sleep in his own bed at night.

Besides that 8:00am class , the biggest difficulty was probably roommate incompatibility.

Which actually turned out to be a good thing, as my DS (now a senior) told us it made him get out of his dorm room pretty early on, and put himself out there to meet a lot of different people.

For me, it was a bad roommate.

Roommate was mentally ill, severely depressed, and flunking classes in her major by the end of first semester. By early in second semester, when I went to ask, the only room available to transfer to was the room of a girl who invited dates into the room to have sex while her assigned roommate was sleeping.

My roommate was sloppy about locking doors. Our dorm room was entered twice at night by drunk college men while we were sleeping. Luckily she was there with me.

This was Penn State's coed honors college dorm in the 1980s. I transferred after freshman year. I always wonder if that was an outsize reaction but I think the decision was correct.

My son is a freshman this year at a different school and has gotten a functional, clean, and friendly dorm roommate. They are considering sharing off-campus housing next year. So glad for that. So far the biggest issue is that he is underprepared for the level of foreign language class he placed into. I am totally relieved.

A subpar housing situation. Fortunately her roommate was wonderful, but they were stuck in a musty basement room that was normally used as a single. She seemed to be constantly sick that year, and I think the terrible air quality played a role in that.

Roommate smoked weed 3 times a week. Navigated roommate switch halfway through first semester.

He’s slowly meeting people but overall little stress. I was a bit worried about him moving from small private high school to a large flagship college but so far so good and little stress. All As.

Making friends, which has been a long-term struggle for her. It’s too early to tell how it worked out as this is still her first semester.

Experienced parents with kids already in college: what are the situations or occurrences that were the most unexpected and stressful in their first year of college? How did they manage? And did it turn out to be OK?