Older teens here and I love it, they are very close and not as directly competitive as I see a lot of siblings. Also, the move to empty nest is a little slower.

The only downside was that when my older DC left for college, it was very hard on the DC headed into high school.

Anonymous wrote:Mine are 2 and 7. It is lovely. Seriously. I was worried my oldest would have a hard time adjusting because he was essentially an only for so long, but he dotes on his little sister, is patient with her, and enjoys teaching her things and getting to be the big kid. She clearly adores him.

When she was in the early days and needed a lot of attention he was self sufficient and could even help. She has to tag along to a lot of his activities and we sometimes have to split up to get her home to nap, but families with kid closer in age are splitting up also with birthday parties and sports often happening at the same time. It wasn't the age gap we hoped for, but it ended up being really really nice (at least so far!!)

This is what we found as well. The oldest was ready to be a big boy/big girl and help. They were self sufficient and not upset that mommy/daddy had to be helping the little baby. We had no jealously at all at 4.25 apart. Had it been 3, there would have been a lot of jealously (because a 3 yo IMO is still a little kid---huge difference between 3 and 4 with independence)

It worked well!

Mine are 4.25 apart. Now are 24 and 20/ Boy & Girl. They are getting closer as they grow up.

The older is a nurturer and love his little sister from the moment she arrived. He wanted to help with everything. And he was ready---he was a needy/anxkous kid so had we had them much closer it would have been more challenging (hence why they are spread out--I was aiming for 4 years and not a minute sooner).
They did well all the way together. MS/HS not as close simply because of the age gap and that they are very very very different people---he's all boy and into baseball/basketball. She's all girl and the only thing she liked in PE was gymnastics (she's a dancer).
But they have a very supportive, loving relationship and they are closer now over the last 5 years than ever. When she comes home from college for Fall break/spring break, he always plans to take days off and fly home to be there.
They plan trips together to fly and see the grandparents (who can no longer fly)---it's very fun to see them get closer and closer as they turn into adults.

My sibling is four plus years younger than I am, and we were five years apart in school. We were close as younger kids, and then the school gap put us into really different life stages; I had a masters degree before my brother was out of high school. The life stage difference has persisted into adulthood for us, and we didn't have the closeness as kids to fall back on. We are also an older sister/younger brother family, and now I have a 20-year-old and teenager, and my brother has toddlers. We both wish we had been closer in age and able to go to the same schools as the same times.

Don’t have to pay 2 college tuitions at once!

This is a little on the low side of what you asked, but I have an almost four and a three month baby. It’s been absolutely fine - she wasn’t that interested to start but was helpful (like, could you pick that up for me - not parenting). She was sad that she had to share our time but was able to articulate her needs and we could discuss her feelings (honestly better than many adults I know). Now that the baby is smiling and making all the cute noises, she’s a lot more interested and loves to play with her.

Thanks PPs - it’s also nice to hear what is coming in the next few years!

My sister and I are 4.5 years apart. We were not close at all growing up. But we’re close now as adults.

My husband and his brother are 4 years apart. They weren't close as kids, but they are now.

We like it a lot! They are very close despite the age difference. The one downside is that I have to take them to different schools/activities, but we organized everything to be walkable or very short drive, so we manage.

My girls are 4 years apart, and they are the best of friends. Not having two kids in diapers at the same time was great, as is not having them in college at the same time. We had not planned the age gap - was just how it turned out for us, but I have been happy with the gap.

Mine are 2 and 7. It is lovely. Seriously. I was worried my oldest would have a hard time adjusting because he was essentially an only for so long, but he dotes on his little sister, is patient with her, and enjoys teaching her things and getting to be the big kid. She clearly adores him.

When she was in the early days and needed a lot of attention he was self sufficient and could even help. She has to tag along to a lot of his activities and we sometimes have to split up to get her home to nap, but families with kid closer in age are splitting up also with birthday parties and sports often happening at the same time. It wasn't the age gap we hoped for, but it ended up being really really nice (at least so far!!)

Mine are each almost 2 years apart so 4 years between oldest and youngest. They get along great with very few conflicts. Probably less than the one with 2 year age difference. A lot of that is because they’re in different stages (9 vs 13) and a boy and girl. They have some of the same interests but the youngest has no interest in helping the youngest. When younger they’d play as group, but never just the 2 of them.

My cousins are that spacing. They were close growing up and now as men, one moved to live in the same city as the other.

Mine are 4.5 years (5 school years) apart. No complaints so far at 10 & 15. The older one wasn’t a baby/toddler when the younger one was born, which made things easier. And with any luck, we’ll only be paying for one college education at a time. They play & fight together like any other siblings.

If you have kids spaced 4-4.5 years apart, how is it?