Anonymous wrote:Went to court with a good lawyer and a ton of documentation.
Won.

Good for you! Nice to hear stories of successfully standing up to individuals trying to get out of their responsibilities, either parentingwise or financially.

Anonymous wrote:Went to court with a good lawyer and a ton of documentation.
Won.

What did you win? More custody and child support? What documentation mattered most?

Went to court with a good lawyer and a ton of documentation.
Won.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Always "busy" when child needs anything or even when it's their turn to have child. Out of 365 days last year child probably stayed at their place 5 days if that.

So petition to modify the custody arrangement?

Don't petition to modify custody. Get the divorce finalized. Give joint custody.

In 1-2 years, after you have documented and kept documentation of when they have not picked up the child from school during their time, petition for a CHILD SUPPORT MODIFICATION based on you have de facto custody. File your documentation of 95% custody or whatever and ask the court to recognize that you are bearing the cost of the children, and your ex is not because they keep declining their custody time, and so you want the child support changed to reflect that.

Only 5 days and you were unable to record it?
This is a huge difference. Go back to court.

What to do? Rely on your lawyer.

You shouldn't have had kids with a "low life," but too late to correct that now.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you do in this situation?

They are your ex's kids too. You are in for trouble if you try to keep them from your ex.

um, don't you get it? Dad doesn't really want to see the kids, just on paper

Anonymous wrote:Always "busy" when child needs anything or even when it's their turn to have child. Out of 365 days last year child probably stayed at their place 5 days if that.

So petition to modify the custody arrangement?

Always "busy" when child needs anything or even when it's their turn to have child. Out of 365 days last year child probably stayed at their place 5 days if that.

Can you explain a little more how you're sure he doesn't want to parent, given he's asking for joint custody?

Anonymous wrote:What do you do in this situation?

They are your ex's kids too. You are in for trouble if you try to keep them from your ex.

Give him full custody

Do what pp says. Keep a daily diary. In 18 months go back to court.

Sorry, but this is a tale as old as time.
You can fight for the greater amount of custody and see how hard he pushes back given that his money is on the line.
If you decide or realize that the fight isn’t worth it, you may end up agreeing to the joint custody, getting less child support, and then still doing more of the parenting work because it’s the best thing for your kids, but not because it’s fair.

So sorry, it sucks, it is not fair, and it is common.

What do you do in this situation?