I went to JHU. I had a perfectly fine 4 years there, plenty of time for a social life etc (IR major) and liked Baltimore too so all around was happy with my experience. But when my first kid was looking I discouraged it for her, it's such a preprofessional environment and that's not what she wanted. She ended up at a more competitive admit that is also a much better fit for her. 2nd kid now applying, also not recommending for him. First because no way he'd get in, but also he wants the state school type experience and JHU is definitely not that.

I went to a T5 school undergrad and law school and my kids did not get my natural abilities. At the time I went to college and law school, I thought I achieved so much based on how hard I worked (I was a worker then and still am to this day). Only now in retrospect do I appreciate how much of a gift it is to have that innate intelligence. I say that as someone who was significantly humbled when not one but both of my kids have ADHD and one an LD, and not the kind that comes along with extreme intelligence. Both DCs have very average IQ - not DCUM average but USA average. No amount of tutoring and hard work can surmount a situation where a kid has an LD.

What does that mean? When it came time to apply to college for my older DC, the "good" schools were off the table from the beginning. There would be no Ivys, T25 or even T100 schools. It took me a long time to come to terms with that. Now I focus on their happiness and finding the right fit. Older DC ended up at a perfectly fine school but one that is very different than my own experience. Younger DC is applying now and yes, it hurts to read these boards. It hurts to be talking with DC about schools I had never even heard of before coming to this board. But it is what it is.

Writing all this for the very few parents who read this board and do not have the 4.5+ GPA, 1500 SAT kids or even the 3.5 GPA, 1200 SAT kids.

I'm French and went to free STEM universities in France. The admissions process meant showing up one day to an office and entering three ranked choices on a minitel (the French predecessor to the World Wide Web). No essays, no letters of rec, no transcript requests, nothing - they had my grades from my Baccalaureat and that's all they cared about. I got into my first choice in the middle of Paris near the Seine, it was great. Then I did the rounds of a couple other Parisian universities as my studies progressed, one really nice one near the Luxembourg and another, super ugly and poorly built.

So yes, I was entirely overwhelmed when it was time to start the college admissions process here. I did a ton of research, talked to a lot of people, went to a lot of meetings. And it worked out fine.

Good luck, OP. You can do this!

Anonymous wrote:I went to a SLAC in the 80's and my daughter is now a junior at UVM. I tried to talk her into my alma mater, which threw a boatload of money at her, but in the end she decided that going there was my thing, not hers. I had to respect that. I also realized she was much more in tune with the current college atmosphere than I am.

Guidance is the key. If your child is anything like mine and they feel like they're being herded, they will push back.

My child WANT to be herded a bit. I don't know how to convince them I'm not the one to do that.

I went to a SLAC in the 80's and my daughter is now a junior at UVM. I tried to talk her into my alma mater, which threw a boatload of money at her, but in the end she decided that going there was my thing, not hers. I had to respect that. I also realized she was much more in tune with the current college atmosphere than I am.

Guidance is the key. If your child is anything like mine and they feel like they're being herded, they will push back.

Listen to 20-30 sessions from YCBK. I learned SOOO much while exercising!

Sounds like your kids trust you; you’re doing great!

I went to a state school that, while a T50 now, was an easy admit way back when. Poor SAT scores. No honors college for me. Failed out. I did ultimately go back and now have a masters as well, but I feel like my experience clouded the advice I had for DS (now a college freshman). I also have a high school freshman who's a lot smarter than I am, and I'd like the process to be a little less miserable in this regard next time around. Any advice? My kids seem to think I'm some super academic with brilliant college advice, and I'm not.