Anonymous wrote:If you put an AirTag in the car and he is on your Apple account, it will not alert him because it assumes it belongs to him. If he uses “find my” on his phone, he will see it. I get alerted that I left my iPad or AirPods behind at a hotel - but never if I leave them at home - so you’ll need to change the settings so he doesn’t get a pop up on his phone saying “you left your air tag behind” when he parks the car.

If you set up a new Apple ID and get an air tag, he can’t see it, but eventually if it goes where he goes for a while he will get a notification on his phone that says “unknown AirTag is following you”. It will also make noise periodically. The only way that will work is if you put it in a bag of your items in the trunk and then you can claim you were not tracking him and you just misplaced the AirTag.

Thank you for this.
I have an android but use an Airtag in the vehicle my teen son drives (he knows) and see it on the iPad but never knew exactly how it worked.

If you put an AirTag in the car and he is on your Apple account, it will not alert him because it assumes it belongs to him. If he uses “find my” on his phone, he will see it. I get alerted that I left my iPad or AirPods behind at a hotel - but never if I leave them at home - so you’ll need to change the settings so he doesn’t get a pop up on his phone saying “you left your air tag behind” when he parks the car.

If you set up a new Apple ID and get an air tag, he can’t see it, but eventually if it goes where he goes for a while he will get a notification on his phone that says “unknown AirTag is following you”. It will also make noise periodically. The only way that will work is if you put it in a bag of your items in the trunk and then you can claim you were not tracking him and you just misplaced the AirTag.

The AirTag can make a little noise when it’s moved. We keep AirTags in our luggage, registered by my husband, and I get notices that they’re traveling with me and they make a little ringing noise when i pick up the suitcase.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Buy an Android burner phone and an Android tracker.

This. Life360 app on a burner phone with ringer and haptics/vibrate OFF, stow inside folded pair of his socks, stick in car/bag/whatever.

Life360 app on your phone (signed into dame account as app on burner) will track without notice or alert

Typo lol SAME not dame

But also, PP is right that this hypervigilance is not worth it. Divorce a cheater.

The hypervigilance does take its toll, but the peace of mind I had in the 20 years after I kicked him out - priceless. I never once looked back and doubted my choice to end things. I never fell for his attempts at reconciliation. And when my kids were struggling about the divorce, I had empathy but no guilt. Knowledge is power. knowledge also gave me quite a bit of leverage in getting him to agree to custody.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Buy an Android burner phone and an Android tracker.

This. Life360 app on a burner phone with ringer and haptics/vibrate OFF, stow inside folded pair of his socks, stick in car/bag/whatever.

Life360 app on your phone (signed into dame account as app on burner) will track without notice or alert

Typo lol SAME not dame

But also, PP is right that this hypervigilance is not worth it. Divorce a cheater.

Anonymous wrote:Buy an Android burner phone and an Android tracker.

This. Life360 app on a burner phone with ringer and haptics/vibrate OFF, stow inside folded pair of his socks, stick in car/bag/whatever.

Life360 app on your phone (signed into dame account as app on burner) will track without notice or alert

Only the phone connected to the air tag will get notifications and be able to trace it

Buy an Android burner phone and an Android tracker.

Yes the air tag will let him know you are tracking it alerts

Anonymous wrote:It's my understanding that he will get an alert eventually. Otherwise stalkers would be abusing them all the time.

Just tell him that it's over if he turns it off. You'll be able to tell if it's not updating.

But honestly, as someone who is divorcing someone who previously cheated, I'll just say that I didn't realize the toll that the hyper vigilance took on me. Please protect your mental health. If he can't be proactive in rebuilding your trust, then it's not going to happen.

I don't know that this is true, if it's registered to the appleid that's on his phone.

But if he looks on FindMy I think it will be listed there.

It's my understanding that he will get an alert eventually. Otherwise stalkers would be abusing them all the time.

Just tell him that it's over if he turns it off. You'll be able to tell if it's not updating.

But honestly, as someone who is divorcing someone who previously cheated, I'll just say that I didn't realize the toll that the hyper vigilance took on me. Please protect your mental health. If he can't be proactive in rebuilding your trust, then it's not going to happen.

Honestly, shame on you. You can’t go to therapy and pretend to make things work when you are trying to sneak around and figure out where he is at. You are going to go crazy doing this. Either you make the relationship work or you leave. Is this advice you would give your daughter? Stick around with his betrayals and track him?

My AirTag is unreliable - sometimes over a 24 hr delay. I’d try something else which also shows where they’ve been.

No judgement and I totally get it. Been there but without AirTag.
When my partner turned off his phone, FindMy would not update. It would give his location and x amount of minutes/hours. Dead giveaway. Or it would spin in a field.
Funny, I got mad and turned mine off once when just sitting at home. A week later he said, did you go out for a run in a field the other night??
Haha

My husband and I share the same Apple account on our phones. Long story short, we are dealing with some trust betrayals, and in therapy he disclosed that he occasionally would turn off his phone completely to avoid tracking. He swears up and down that he isn’t doing this anymore. If I hide an AirTag in his car, link it to my phone, is it going to alert his phone that it’s there?

Please spare me the lecture, I feel utterly crappy enough without your judgement.