I’m not allergic to gifted kids. I’m allergic to people who constantly need to share their child’s alleged giftedness in public when it’s in no way necessary. It’s performative to ask about this in a crowd of 200 people. You can email admissions directly.

And as for asking about testing, you really want to read the room. If a school is talking about holistic assessments and progressive education and says outright that they don’t focus on ERBs, then asking follow up questions about standardized testing is a waste of everyone’s time and shows you haven’t been listing or are totally unaware of the concept of fit.

As for the second comment, I say this as a 1st generation Asian person. So take that as you will. Some people don’t want a school focused on STEM or a math/science powerhouse. That’s the beauty of this country- we have all sorts of people with a variety of talents who contribute to our success.

Anonymous wrote:I volunteer for admissions and am so curious what people ask the actual staff so I often try to listen in!

Most of the questions people ask the staff at big events are totally inappropriate and belong in a different forum- like an email or a phone call. Many of the questions should be asked of current parents instead in a 1:1 setting at an open house or tour.

#1 question is “my kid is gifted and is going to be at x level in math, so what are you going to do to meet their needs?”. Everyone sincerely believes that no one else has a kid who is gifted in math and that asking a question like this is putting their kid in a good light.

Other standard questions, most of which I think are fine:

-sibling admission questions (especially if one sibling is in an intake year but one is older/younger and isn’t)
-off-cycle admissions questions (like they just moved and want to join asap)
-questions about transportation or community if they live far away or off the beaten path
-questions about how the religious parts of the curriculum work (we at a non-parish Catholic school)
-questions trying to suss out fit, especially around sports or arts if their kid is sporty or artsy
-our school puts zero emphasis on testing and assessments, but we get a ton questions about test results, ERB scores, etc- we live in a community with a growing Asian and South Asian expat population so there’s some cultural gaps to cover around the value of testing and results-oriented education. We do have volunteers who are 1st gen who try to pull these parents aside and give them a quick 101 on our school. One nearby private actually hosts a separate info session in mandarin to help families understand their school’s philosophy.

How else would you prefer they ask the question, PP? My oldest is a math normie, but my second is, indeed, advanced in math. I put her in public, where she did Algebra 1 in 6th, and now she's in high school and doing well. You're allergic to the word "gifted", which I can sympathize with, but please understand that's just a shorthand for parents who may not be able to otherwise describe their kid because they're not education professionals - but they know what their kid is capable of.

Also, your reaction to the math question and your adjacent comment about Asian populations is a little... tendentious. Math tracks (which may not be what your school does) actually do depend on math test scores. It's the most effective way of predicting which students will hack it in advanced classes. Please try not to sneer at Asian nations who have built math and STEM powerhouses. STEM research labs in the US, both private and publicly-funded, are full of Asians, born here or born abroad. They have contributed in a major way to US patent dominance and tech competitiveness.

Anonymous wrote:We have a kid with a learning difference so we always wanted to ask the AO about academic supports and accommodations and see if they could connect us with someone in the learning center, and ask about whether kids with accommodations are stigmatized, etc. Not all schools had learning center staff at the open houses. Flint Hill even gatekeeps them - we had to email our questions to the admissions folks, who then passed them on to the learning center, and then summarized (but did not forward directly) the learning center’s response to us. Huge pain. We were not able to connect in person until the admitted family event.

Different school but ours does the same. I think it’s because before they had that policy, there were some perhaps deliberate misunderstandings between what admissions said and what parents of kids with higher needs shared and heard. The learning center does a lot of analysis of the kids’ needs during the admissions process and is cautious to not promise anything until they are confident they can support an offer from admissions. Now at our school everything is put in writing (never a verbal conversation!) for this reason.

Source: I’m a parent volunteer for the admissions office and we receive strict instructions on how to talk to parents and what we can/cannot say in these situations.

Anonymous wrote:What is the answer to the sibling question? I haven’t asked yet but that’s the one on my mind at these events.

It really depends on the school and most schools are quite transparent about it because they have nothing to lose by answering honestly. If they don’t give sibling preference, they don’t want to lose one good applicant if that applicant will only attend if both kids are accepted. If they do give sibling preference, they will be happy to share if it means picking up two good kids for the effort of one.

Anonymous wrote:What is the answer to the sibling question? I haven’t asked yet but that’s the one on my mind at these events.

I expect it varies by school.

What is the answer to the sibling question? I haven’t asked yet but that’s the one on my mind at these events.

We have a kid with a learning difference so we always wanted to ask the AO about academic supports and accommodations and see if they could connect us with someone in the learning center, and ask about whether kids with accommodations are stigmatized, etc. Not all schools had learning center staff at the open houses. Flint Hill even gatekeeps them - we had to email our questions to the admissions folks, who then passed them on to the learning center, and then summarized (but did not forward directly) the learning center’s response to us. Huge pain. We were not able to connect in person until the admitted family event.

Anonymous wrote:I volunteer for admissions and am so curious what people ask the actual staff so I often try to listen in!

Most of the questions people ask the staff at big events are totally inappropriate and belong in a different forum- like an email or a phone call. Many of the questions should be asked of current parents instead in a 1:1 setting at an open house or tour.

#1 question is “my kid is gifted and is going to be at x level in math, so what are you going to do to meet their needs?”. Everyone sincerely believes that no one else has a kid who is gifted in math and that asking a question like this is putting their kid in a good light.

Other standard questions, most of which I think are fine:

-sibling admission questions (especially if one sibling is in an intake year but one is older/younger and isn’t)
-off-cycle admissions questions (like they just moved and want to join asap)
-questions about transportation or community if they live far away or off the beaten path
-questions about how the religious parts of the curriculum work (we at a non-parish Catholic school)
-questions trying to suss out fit, especially around sports or arts if their kid is sporty or artsy
-our school puts zero emphasis on testing and assessments, but we get a ton questions about test results, ERB scores, etc- we live in a community with a growing Asian and South Asian expat population so there’s some cultural gaps to cover around the value of testing and results-oriented education. We do have volunteers who are 1st gen who try to pull these parents aside and give them a quick 101 on our school. One nearby private actually hosts a separate info session in mandarin to help families understand their school’s philosophy.

This x1000.

#1 question is “my kid is gifted and is going to be at x level in math, so what are you going to do to meet their needs?”.

Every single house you'll hear this.

What Dalton said in Road House: Be nice.

Anonymous wrote:What am I missing here? At all the tours and open houses, there are opportunities to talk to the admissions team. I have no idea what people talk to them about. Is it an opportunity to suck up and make an impression? I can read and follow the instructions for the application process, so I feel like I’m missing something. (HS applicant)

HS! Yikes. I missed that on my first read. Your kid needs to take the lead. Questions from parents to admissions teams for a HS applicant should be focused on logistics (“are bus routes static or do they change with demand?”) or should just be polite chit chat because you happen to be standing next to staff and neither of you have anyone to talk to because the kids are all talking to other staff and each other.

I volunteer for admissions and am so curious what people ask the actual staff so I often try to listen in!

Most of the questions people ask the staff at big events are totally inappropriate and belong in a different forum- like an email or a phone call. Many of the questions should be asked of current parents instead in a 1:1 setting at an open house or tour.

#1 question is “my kid is gifted and is going to be at x level in math, so what are you going to do to meet their needs?”. Everyone sincerely believes that no one else has a kid who is gifted in math and that asking a question like this is putting their kid in a good light.

Other standard questions, most of which I think are fine:

-sibling admission questions (especially if one sibling is in an intake year but one is older/younger and isn’t)
-off-cycle admissions questions (like they just moved and want to join asap)
-questions about transportation or community if they live far away or off the beaten path
-questions about how the religious parts of the curriculum work (we at a non-parish Catholic school)
-questions trying to suss out fit, especially around sports or arts if their kid is sporty or artsy
-our school puts zero emphasis on testing and assessments, but we get a ton questions about test results, ERB scores, etc- we live in a community with a growing Asian and South Asian expat population so there’s some cultural gaps to cover around the value of testing and results-oriented education. We do have volunteers who are 1st gen who try to pull these parents aside and give them a quick 101 on our school. One nearby private actually hosts a separate info session in mandarin to help families understand their school’s philosophy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What am I missing here? At all the tours and open houses, there are opportunities to talk to the admissions team. I have no idea what people talk to them about. Is it an opportunity to suck up and make an impression? I can read and follow the instructions for the application process, so I feel like I’m missing something. (HS applicant)

Don't do this and be *that applicant*

If you have actual questions, sure, but idle chit chat to make it so they remember you may not have the intended effect.

Thanks. That is not my style at all, which is why I thought I was missing something. I use the virtual meetings to ask my specific questions about school offerings, etc.

Anonymous wrote:What am I missing here? At all the tours and open houses, there are opportunities to talk to the admissions team. I have no idea what people talk to them about. Is it an opportunity to suck up and make an impression? I can read and follow the instructions for the application process, so I feel like I’m missing something. (HS applicant)

Don't do this and be *that applicant*

If you have actual questions, sure, but idle chit chat to make it so they remember you may not have the intended effect.

What am I missing here? At all the tours and open houses, there are opportunities to talk to the admissions team. I have no idea what people talk to them about. Is it an opportunity to suck up and make an impression? I can read and follow the instructions for the application process, so I feel like I’m missing something. (HS applicant)