I believe this but it's really important to note that the study only looked at "frequent moves." This doesn't hold for a family that moves once or even twice fur a job relocation or to be closer to family or to gain a higher quality of life.

And when you understand that, the finding becomes both obvious and kind of useless. Frequent moves with kids indicates some kind of instability-- poor finances, job instability, divorce and/or other relationship instability, potentially mental or physical health issues. The one exception might be military families, but I'd be interested to see a study in the US comparing kids in military families to those who had frequent moves for other reasons. I bet you anything the military families fare better because those families are more likely to be otherwise stable with the exception of moving a lot.

So when you realize this study is really just looking at kids from unstable families with likely financial, relationship, and other issues, it's obvious the moves themselves aren't really the issue.

This is not a study that is useful if you are contemplating a single move with kids for a job opportunity. There's nothing in the study that would tell you moving will be worse for your kids than staying. Sometimes a move is the best possible thing for a family.

Yea stability > instability. Social support > no social support/friends. Security/safety > not that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I believe it. My parents were middle class and we didn’t struggle on income like some of my peers. But they were unstable and unhappy and I changed schools frequently - K-2 in Catholic school, 3rd at public, moved in 4th to a different public, 5th/6th Catholic, 7th public, moved in 8th to the district where I finished HS in public. Every school and district is different with a different vibe and set of kids, and in a lot of places - maybe not the DC area which is more transient but a lot of other places - the new kid is always the outsider. Remember that in a lot of places in the US, families have lived there or near there for generations. You won’t get social capital or connections in a new place when the Jones family has their name on half the businesses in town and has lived there since the 1880s.

OP again. Thanks for sharing your experience. Do you think my plan for my own kids is a bad idea? Preschool-K at a Montessori school; 1st-6th in public school; 7th-8th at a religious private school (about 60-80 kids per grade); public high school. All the schools are local to me. I worry about the transitions right before and after middle school, which is a vulnerable time for many kids.

I am a DP... Does the religious private middle school feed into a private high school, so all your kid's friends will end up at a different high school?

Also, your kids will have opinions on this too as they get older... You will need to convince them why this is the best option.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I believe it. My parents were middle class and we didn’t struggle on income like some of my peers. But they were unstable and unhappy and I changed schools frequently - K-2 in Catholic school, 3rd at public, moved in 4th to a different public, 5th/6th Catholic, 7th public, moved in 8th to the district where I finished HS in public. Every school and district is different with a different vibe and set of kids, and in a lot of places - maybe not the DC area which is more transient but a lot of other places - the new kid is always the outsider. Remember that in a lot of places in the US, families have lived there or near there for generations. You won’t get social capital or connections in a new place when the Jones family has their name on half the businesses in town and has lived there since the 1880s.

OP again. Thanks for sharing your experience. Do you think my plan for my own kids is a bad idea? Preschool-K at a Montessori school; 1st-6th in public school; 7th-8th at a religious private school (about 60-80 kids per grade); public high school. All the schools are local to me. I worry about the transitions right before and after middle school, which is a vulnerable time for many kids.

Is it because the MS is known to be rough? They might like the private school environment in that case. It’s easier to stay in touch with kids now through texting and what not. Are their ES friends in their neighborhood and would they all go to HS together? What does your kid think? I never had any choice in the matter and if I complained or was upset I was punished and given the silent treatment by my parents.

This has been studied and published before, it’s valid and reliable. I became aware of it about 20 yrs ago, and purposely never moved. It was a factor in my divorce, too, we both agreed kids needed to remain in stable home.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I believe it. My parents were middle class and we didn’t struggle on income like some of my peers. But they were unstable and unhappy and I changed schools frequently - K-2 in Catholic school, 3rd at public, moved in 4th to a different public, 5th/6th Catholic, 7th public, moved in 8th to the district where I finished HS in public. Every school and district is different with a different vibe and set of kids, and in a lot of places - maybe not the DC area which is more transient but a lot of other places - the new kid is always the outsider. Remember that in a lot of places in the US, families have lived there or near there for generations. You won’t get social capital or connections in a new place when the Jones family has their name on half the businesses in town and has lived there since the 1880s.

OP again. Thanks for sharing your experience. Do you think my plan for my own kids is a bad idea? Preschool-K at a Montessori school; 1st-6th in public school; 7th-8th at a religious private school (about 60-80 kids per grade); public high school. All the schools are local to me. I worry about the transitions right before and after middle school, which is a vulnerable time for many kids.

How do your kids feel about leaving for middle school and then returning? Did you present them with the reason why? (Not sure what the reason why is myself)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I believe it. My parents were middle class and we didn’t struggle on income like some of my peers. But they were unstable and unhappy and I changed schools frequently - K-2 in Catholic school, 3rd at public, moved in 4th to a different public, 5th/6th Catholic, 7th public, moved in 8th to the district where I finished HS in public. Every school and district is different with a different vibe and set of kids, and in a lot of places - maybe not the DC area which is more transient but a lot of other places - the new kid is always the outsider. Remember that in a lot of places in the US, families have lived there or near there for generations. You won’t get social capital or connections in a new place when the Jones family has their name on half the businesses in town and has lived there since the 1880s.

OP again. Thanks for sharing your experience. Do you think my plan for my own kids is a bad idea? Preschool-K at a Montessori school; 1st-6th in public school; 7th-8th at a religious private school (about 60-80 kids per grade); public high school. All the schools are local to me. I worry about the transitions right before and after middle school, which is a vulnerable time for many kids.

Their friends from elementary school will have forgotten about them by the time they return in high school. It will be difficult for them. I’d almost thing it would be easier to go to a brand new high school in another town then leave for 2 years for private and then slink back to public with the same cohort of kids.

Anonymous wrote:I believe it. My parents were middle class and we didn’t struggle on income like some of my peers. But they were unstable and unhappy and I changed schools frequently - K-2 in Catholic school, 3rd at public, moved in 4th to a different public, 5th/6th Catholic, 7th public, moved in 8th to the district where I finished HS in public. Every school and district is different with a different vibe and set of kids, and in a lot of places - maybe not the DC area which is more transient but a lot of other places - the new kid is always the outsider. Remember that in a lot of places in the US, families have lived there or near there for generations. You won’t get social capital or connections in a new place when the Jones family has their name on half the businesses in town and has lived there since the 1880s.

OP again. Thanks for sharing your experience. Do you think my plan for my own kids is a bad idea? Preschool-K at a Montessori school; 1st-6th in public school; 7th-8th at a religious private school (about 60-80 kids per grade); public high school. All the schools are local to me. I worry about the transitions right before and after middle school, which is a vulnerable time for many kids.

So much useless click bait being posted on dcum now.

I believe it. I went to 3 different elementary schools and vowed never to do that to my kids. I remember crying in bed bc I didn’t have any friends (and my parents did nothing to foster friendships or play dates).

Anonymous wrote:"A study of more than a million Danes found that frequent moves in childhood had a bigger effect than poverty on adult mental health risk."

https://www.nytimes.com/2024/07/17/health/moving-childhood-depression.html

What do you think? Also, do you think changing schools several times without moving has the same affect?

I think Danish poverty isn’t American poverty (all Danes get health care!), so this doesn’t translate here.

I believe it. My parents were middle class and we didn’t struggle on income like some of my peers. But they were unstable and unhappy and I changed schools frequently - K-2 in Catholic school, 3rd at public, moved in 4th to a different public, 5th/6th Catholic, 7th public, moved in 8th to the district where I finished HS in public. Every school and district is different with a different vibe and set of kids, and in a lot of places - maybe not the DC area which is more transient but a lot of other places - the new kid is always the outsider. Remember that in a lot of places in the US, families have lived there or near there for generations. You won’t get social capital or connections in a new place when the Jones family has their name on half the businesses in town and has lived there since the 1880s.

I was a military brat. I am also an introvert. Yet I loved moving. This might work as a generalization but obviously everyone is different.

There have been studies that show that extroverts do just fine, while shy kids and introverts struggle with frequent moves:

https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2010/06/moving-well-being

"A study of more than a million Danes found that frequent moves in childhood had a bigger effect than poverty on adult mental health risk."

https://www.nytimes.com/2024/07/17/health/moving-childhood-depression.html

What do you think? Also, do you think changing schools several times without moving has the same affect?