Anonymous wrote:Although I agree with the theory that attitude and confidence are factors, my personal experience is that when smaller - and blonder - I got much more attention.

Sure but with essentially the same personality you’d attract more attention at a smaller/fitter size, but you at a larger size compared to someone who lacks confidence and poise in their larger-size body would still attract more favorable attention because of personality

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A size 12/14 is average sized.

That’s only because people have gotten obese and totally lost control of a healthy weight. I recently lost 12 lbs and people are asking me if I’m ok! And I need to lose 18 more to get to a BMI of 25. That’s barely healthy. Look at the photos of Americans in the 1950s. A side 12/14 was a rarity.
Let’s quit trying to normalize being overweight.

I'm size 12 and have a normal BMI, now maybe OP is 5'4".

When I was a size 8 I was underweight.

So healthy for me is 10-12 but you can't even conceptualize that... which is one reason I was underweight at a point in my life.

OP I think your experience can partially be chalked up to you and your attitude that you projected during weight gain/loss because 12/14 to 8 isn’t that big of a deal.
But for you it could be where you started to feel confident and happy again?—and you likely started puttting that back out into the world, which could partly account for the reception you received from others.
In my experience, being a size 20+ is way way more difficult and offputting to people because you take up space that makes others feel uncomfortable and so they stop making eye contact or are actively hostile when inconvenienced.

Yep. I’m size 18 and my friend is around a 6 probably, if not a 4. She thinks all women get flirted with and sexually harassed all the time. I’ve never had the heart to tell her nobody ever flirts with me.

Anonymous wrote:A size 12/14 is average sized.

That’s only because people have gotten obese and totally lost control of a healthy weight. I recently lost 12 lbs and people are asking me if I’m ok! And I need to lose 18 more to get to a BMI of 25. That’s barely healthy. Look at the photos of Americans in the 1950s. A side 12/14 was a rarity.
Let’s quit trying to normalize being overweight.

But do you Dutch your long time friends? Is this the same poster pair?

Although I agree with the theory that attitude and confidence are factors, my personal experience is that when smaller - and blonder - I got much more attention.

Anonymous wrote:I’m a size 4 and often ignored. I’m not ugly but I think have a very “keep to myself” vibe and don’t exude warmth and confidence. While completely agreeing larger people are often mistreated, given you weren’t particularly large, I wonder if your vibe could be a lot different if you’re feeling more confident. I think that goes way further than a couple dress sizes (again not at all downplaying that if someone goes from a size 18 to a size 6 they will likely be treated differently)

I am not the OP and an introvert and unfriendly b1tch at every size. When I went from size 14 to 8, my life changed dramatically. I went from never having a date to guys asking me out regularly. Appearances are truly everything in dating.

Perhaps you acted different too b/c of the weight? If you were self-conscious and insecure being heavier people probably picked up on that.

I’m a size 4 and often ignored. I’m not ugly but I think have a very “keep to myself” vibe and don’t exude warmth and confidence. While completely agreeing larger people are often mistreated, given you weren’t particularly large, I wonder if your vibe could be a lot different if you’re feeling more confident. I think that goes way further than a couple dress sizes (again not at all downplaying that if someone goes from a size 18 to a size 6 they will likely be treated differently)

I went from size 12 to size 6 and I don’t see much of a difference in how people treat me. I’m 48 though, and somewhat homely, so maybe that matters.

Yes, larger people get treated like crap.

A size 12/14 is average sized.

Welcome to reality. It is a lesson learned better late than never.

For all of my adult life, outside of pregnancy/postartum, I have been a size 4/6. Always treated well in public settings, men flirted with me etc. I just thought this was normal.

After a late pregnancy loss I got pregnant again, so I was pregnant for nearly a year and a half (not kidding). It was a difficult pregnancy and I developed gestational diabetes and became insulin resistant. After having my baby I could not lose weight no matter what I tried and hovered around a size 12/14.

Recently I’ve gone down several sizes and am now about an 8. The difference in how I was treated when I was bigger and how I’m treated now is night and day. I was almost ignored, or treated as stupid/ignorant (?), and just generally not treated as well as when I was thin. Now that I’m becoming thinner again, men are flirty/check me out and people are nicer to me.

It is such a mindf*** and really disappointing. Why are people like this?