Anonymous wrote:OP when he turns down the activities you suggest, what reason does he give? Does he have friends? Does he spend time with them outside of school?

he'll usually state that he has no interest and it will be hard to get motivated for that. He does some recreational volleyball at the Y but not a sports guy which is fine. He does orchestra in school and played last year in a very high level county band, but just went through the motions; no zeal.

There is a pressure from colleges to be a "pointy' applicant which a unique passion. I disagree with that if it is forced and doesn't come from within. But turning down options at the buffet of opportunities before even trying them is tough.

Anonymous wrote:Have to start sports in ES.

No you don't. Lots of kids start running in middle school. Crew doesn't even start until 8th at the earliest.

Have to start sports in ES.

Anonymous wrote:I don’t honestly see a problem with forcing activities. In our family, kids have to do some sport each season and 1 other activity, whatever they wish. The physical activity is really important to me. When these kids are adults, even more jobs will just be sitting. If they don’t like moving around, it will be a big problem!

How old are your kids? At some point, you can’t force. And the more you try, the more damage you might do to your relationship.

OP, just give your kid a few options, but if he declines, let it be. He will mature a lot in the next few years and new things will probably start to pique his interest.

Anonymous wrote:I don’t honestly see a problem with forcing activities. In our family, kids have to do some sport each season and 1 other activity, whatever they wish. The physical activity is really important to me. When these kids are adults, even more jobs will just be sitting. If they don’t like moving around, it will be a big problem!

They don't need activities for that.

OP when he turns down the activities you suggest, what reason does he give? Does he have friends? Does he spend time with them outside of school?

I don’t honestly see a problem with forcing activities. In our family, kids have to do some sport each season and 1 other activity, whatever they wish. The physical activity is really important to me. When these kids are adults, even more jobs will just be sitting. If they don’t like moving around, it will be a big problem!

Pokémon meetup?

What about a cosplay renaissance fair helper

all good ideas. will explore these options.

he may be at an equilibrium with all that he can handle for now... but hard to gauge as a parent; don't want him to miss good opportunities.

If you can afford it, definitely encourage CTY or something similar. Many of my engineering co-workers still have fond memories of CTY experiences from decades ago.

Why are no extracurriculars problematic. I agree, he shouldn't resort to video games all the time, it seems like he doesn't. Encourage him to go outside with friends and socialize in person.

D&D? Writing? Theater?

My kid is pretty much the same (except the perfect grades) and likes the writing/performing parts of certain types of theater - not putting on a play, but closer to improv or writing your own scenes.

I know D&D gives an opportunity to do some world building and character study if they chose to do that, and is a small step in the fantasy space to something with more people.

What about a creative writing class/workshop?

Sort of similar to what his interests are already but he can meet people with similar interests, get creative, and interact with other people as they share their work?

7th grader goes to a STEM school, with plethora of STEM and non STEM activities. I've also presented options outside of school such as debate, rowing, sports, art class, etc. So far he has declined everything. Grades are near perfect. No major behavioral issues. In his spare time, voracious fantasy fiction reader, and some video gaming on weekends.

I don't want to force activities on him; that is Cleary not productive. But his reluctance to try anything extra-curricular is becoming problematic. Any ideas on potential ideas ? Literary themed projects or Johns Hopkins CTY ?

We are not trying to have him fill out a college CV here; just some attempt to explore potential areas of interest.