Anonymous
09/25/2024 07:47
Subject: Getting a break when there are no options!
Anonymous wrote:I so hear you, OP. That’s me right now.
It took many years of arguing and effort, but I pushed back on how DH took advantage of the flexibility that my backstopping gave him. No more last-minute departures where he leaves me with his unwashed laundry and a messy kitchen. No more leaving a day early because the flights are easier or give him more miles and he can squeeze in an extra but unnecessary meeting.
When he goes on a trip, unless it’s a true work emergency (rare), he gases up both cars, does the big grocery run for the entire week and puts everything away, empties his hamper, puts away all his headphones/paper mess/hoodies/man debris, and tidies the yard. I realized that the resentment of being left with his mess made it impossible to do 24/7 parenting while he was gone.
Also, I usually do all of the setup/chores for the next day (depending on when he leaves) ahead of time so I have time to watch part of a movie or read on night 1. That way I feel like I’ve gotten a tiny bit of something for myself before I get slammed by the hamster wheel of responsibility.
ugh this is me. i need to learn your ways! DH loves to get on that flight a day early... ugh....
Anonymous
09/25/2024 07:46
Subject: Re:Getting a break when there are no options!
If your kid is school-aged then they are definitely old enough for a babysitter. (I used them younger than that but I know some people aren't comfortable with that). Ask other parents for recommendations, check out sittercity or care or something similar. Ask the school.
Have the sitter take your kid out if you want the house to yourself.
Have the sitter take your kid out if you want the house to yourself.
Anonymous
09/25/2024 07:42
Subject: Getting a break when there are no options!
Where do you live? I take kids off their parents hands. I kicked ball for three hours (watched him from 1-8) the other day. That 3rd grader almost wore me out. Now I'm bringing my 5th grader along.
I have huge family watching my own kid every single weekend. I have time for other people's kids.
Evening alone? Would your kid sleep over at someone else's house?
I have huge family watching my own kid every single weekend. I have time for other people's kids.
Evening alone? Would your kid sleep over at someone else's house?
Anonymous
09/25/2024 07:38
Subject: Getting a break when there are no options!
I call in sick to work and do whatever I want all day.
Anonymous
09/25/2024 07:14
Subject: Getting a break when there are no options!
Anonymous wrote:I’m sort of sinking here. My DH is currently traveling a lot for work. We don’t have any family nearby since we moved. DC just started a new school and has no close friends.
I just want an afternoon and evening in my house alone, where I don’t have to be interrupted to make dinner or put a kid to bed. I want to just have the house to myself to do whatever I want and not be bothered. I feel like my time isn’t my own. What do you do when you feel this way?
How old is your child? Do you have any friends in the area?
Anonymous
09/24/2024 22:45
Subject: Getting a break when there are no options!
PS I’m the PP and when DH gets back from long trips, he usually plans a big outing that lasts 3-4 hours so I can have the house to myself. It helps with his jet lag and helps with my sanity.
Anonymous
09/24/2024 22:44
Subject: Getting a break when there are no options!
I so hear you, OP. That’s me right now.
It took many years of arguing and effort, but I pushed back on how DH took advantage of the flexibility that my backstopping gave him. No more last-minute departures where he leaves me with his unwashed laundry and a messy kitchen. No more leaving a day early because the flights are easier or give him more miles and he can squeeze in an extra but unnecessary meeting.
When he goes on a trip, unless it’s a true work emergency (rare), he gases up both cars, does the big grocery run for the entire week and puts everything away, empties his hamper, puts away all his headphones/paper mess/hoodies/man debris, and tidies the yard. I realized that the resentment of being left with his mess made it impossible to do 24/7 parenting while he was gone.
Also, I usually do all of the setup/chores for the next day (depending on when he leaves) ahead of time so I have time to watch part of a movie or read on night 1. That way I feel like I’ve gotten a tiny bit of something for myself before I get slammed by the hamster wheel of responsibility.
It took many years of arguing and effort, but I pushed back on how DH took advantage of the flexibility that my backstopping gave him. No more last-minute departures where he leaves me with his unwashed laundry and a messy kitchen. No more leaving a day early because the flights are easier or give him more miles and he can squeeze in an extra but unnecessary meeting.
When he goes on a trip, unless it’s a true work emergency (rare), he gases up both cars, does the big grocery run for the entire week and puts everything away, empties his hamper, puts away all his headphones/paper mess/hoodies/man debris, and tidies the yard. I realized that the resentment of being left with his mess made it impossible to do 24/7 parenting while he was gone.
Also, I usually do all of the setup/chores for the next day (depending on when he leaves) ahead of time so I have time to watch part of a movie or read on night 1. That way I feel like I’ve gotten a tiny bit of something for myself before I get slammed by the hamster wheel of responsibility.
Anonymous
09/24/2024 21:02
Subject: Getting a break when there are no options!
Anonymous wrote:Sometimes Tae Kwon Do or coding places have Parents’ Night Out for elementary kids, where they do pizza and an activity from ~6-9 on a Friday evening. Could be a fun night for DC and at least a break from making dinner for a night.
I live in Silver Spring and have seen things like this at an art studio and yoga studios too.
If OP doesn’t want to do bedtime, though, she needs to hire a babysitter.
Anonymous
09/24/2024 21:01
Subject: Getting a break when there are no options!
Ask about babysitters at school. Take a mental health day.
Anonymous
09/24/2024 20:59
Subject: Getting a break when there are no options!
Sometimes Tae Kwon Do or coding places have Parents’ Night Out for elementary kids, where they do pizza and an activity from ~6-9 on a Friday evening. Could be a fun night for DC and at least a break from making dinner for a night.
Anonymous
09/24/2024 20:57
Subject: Re:Getting a break when there are no options!
I take a mental health day at work several times a year to just be by myself in my house.
Anonymous
09/24/2024 20:57
Subject: Getting a break when there are no options!
Put a movie on and order a pizza. If your kid is still of the age they need to be put to bed, there must be a little of bit of alone time in the evening, no? Eventually they’ll outlast you at night!
Anonymous
09/24/2024 20:55
Subject: Getting a break when there are no options!
Or drive/fly to drop your kid off at grandparents’ for a long weekend or school vacation
Anonymous
09/24/2024 20:54
Subject: Getting a break when there are no options!
I think a babysitter would be your best option…
Anonymous
09/24/2024 20:52
Subject: Getting a break when there are no options!
I’m sort of sinking here. My DH is currently traveling a lot for work. We don’t have any family nearby since we moved. DC just started a new school and has no close friends.
I just want an afternoon and evening in my house alone, where I don’t have to be interrupted to make dinner or put a kid to bed. I want to just have the house to myself to do whatever I want and not be bothered. I feel like my time isn’t my own. What do you do when you feel this way?
I just want an afternoon and evening in my house alone, where I don’t have to be interrupted to make dinner or put a kid to bed. I want to just have the house to myself to do whatever I want and not be bothered. I feel like my time isn’t my own. What do you do when you feel this way?