So you were pushy-pushy-pushy and it backfired and now you're the victim? I've heard this one before. What you do is stop being pushy and understanding that your son is now an adult, whose family will be with a future wife (his now GF or another GF) and not with you. He will always choose his future family over the family that you created for yourself. It's his turn.

Anonymous wrote:Son has not responded to any communication since the Fall semester started. In his mind, he is choosing girlfriend over family. He probably has no idea how much hurt he has inflicted on us and his siblings. Not sure what to do.

Admit it...the hurt is inflicted on you. I doubt the siblings are too bent out of shape.

Did my MIL travel back in time and write this from 2001?

What did ya'll say to him? What is the background on son having a girlfriend. Understand this is a normal experience in college.

Well since this is in the Family forum instead of Adult Children, OP is probably prone to drama and precipitated her son's behavior through some shenanigans of her own.

There has to be more to this story. If you’re simply checking in and having or all conversations how does the girlfriend even factor in? By you saying he is choosing the girlfriend it implies there has been a conversation about her.

Why is he in a position where he has to choose one or the other?

Anonymous wrote:Son has not responded to any communication since the Fall semester started. In his mind, he is choosing girlfriend over family. He probably has no idea how much hurt he has inflicted on us and his siblings. Not sure what to do.

You should try not putting him the position where he has to choose.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What was the setup where he feels like he has to make a choice?

Agreed - why does he feel like he has to choose? Have you put that ultimatum on him?

+1 yea what is going on here?

I'll echo the others. How did we get to this point?.

Family party or trip and he wanted to invite GF and you said no. That's on you.

He wants to spend holidays with GF?. Suggest a compromise where GF is welcome to join. If he still says no. Say you'll miss him but understand

She's a crack dealer and you said she can't use crack in your house. Love him from afar.

We need more details about the lead up to this.

But if you laid down any flavor of ultimatum about the gf, well this is the bed you made.

Anonymous wrote:What was the setup where he feels like he has to make a choice?

Agreed - why does he feel like he has to choose? Have you put that ultimatum on him?

Don't pay the next bill.

What was the setup where he feels like he has to make a choice?

Son has not responded to any communication since the Fall semester started. In his mind, he is choosing girlfriend over family. He probably has no idea how much hurt he has inflicted on us and his siblings. Not sure what to do.