Anonymous wrote:What is "acceptable" to me is that my daughter was comfortable, respected/respectful, healthy, and safe. We had those conversations, and then the decisions are up to her.

I don't think they have the maturity at 14, agreed, but I don't put a number on that.

Agree with the bolded. I had so many conversations with DD about respect in relationships, abusive/controlling relationships, etc. More than sex talks. She asked me once why I kept bringing it up (about twice a year, at least once a year) and I told her "Because I don't ever want you to think you're too old to talk to me about relationship problems. Adults need help too sometimes." We talked about manipulative behavior, how to extricate yourself from an uncomfortable situation, what if a boy/man threatens suicide if she leaves, how plan B works, etc.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's ideal that they lose their virginity in late high school - like senior year, maybe even the summer before college and then break up with the boyfriend - rather than go to college as a virgin. Better to have figured out some stuff in a more controlled environment in my opinion.

Or, they become overly emotionally involved with that boyfriend and try to keep the relationship going in college, often affecting their chance to fully enjoy the experience. I’ve seen it happen many times.

I have seen the same, many times. That PP does not know what she is talking about.

Anonymous wrote:Agreed that 14 is way too young. What age would be acceptable?

I’d personally prefer college, but I’ve read some posts here say they’d prefer high school so they can supervise, support and coach their kids.

18, and only with another 18+ year old.

As for the bolded, it's giving me a visual of a parent standing in the doorway giving tips as the act is in progress.

lol. I don’t know how I could be the arbiter of this. Hysterical.

I do recommend to my boys to hold off and point to brain science.

I was sixteen.

Anonymous wrote:I think it's ideal that they lose their virginity in late high school - like senior year, maybe even the summer before college and then break up with the boyfriend - rather than go to college as a virgin. Better to have figured out some stuff in a more controlled environment in my opinion.

Disagree. My friends who came to college as virgins were generally way more careful than those who weren't. More likely to stay longer at 3rd base, so to speak, than give it up. Those that lost it early had way more partners like it was no big deal.

It really depends on your child's maturity level. And isn't limited to DDs.

What is "acceptable" to me is that my daughter was comfortable, respected/respectful, healthy, and safe. We had those conversations, and then the decisions are up to her.

I don't think they have the maturity at 14, agreed, but I don't put a number on that.

Anonymous wrote:I think it's ideal that they lose their virginity in late high school - like senior year, maybe even the summer before college and then break up with the boyfriend - rather than go to college as a virgin. Better to have figured out some stuff in a more controlled environment in my opinion.

Or, they become overly emotionally involved with that boyfriend and try to keep the relationship going in college, often affecting their chance to fully enjoy the experience. I’ve seen it happen many times.

I think it's ideal that they lose their virginity in late high school - like senior year, maybe even the summer before college and then break up with the boyfriend - rather than go to college as a virgin. Better to have figured out some stuff in a more controlled environment in my opinion.

I hope at least 18

If they are doing crazy things, they’re too young.

That they are not doing crazy things if things don’t go well, and coach on how to deal with setbacks of an intimate relationship.

Anonymous wrote:SUPERVISE AND COACH?! What exactly are you smoking?

+1 lol

SUPERVISE AND COACH?! What exactly are you smoking?

Agreed that 14 is way too young. What age would be acceptable?

I’d personally prefer college, but I’ve read some posts here say they’d prefer high school so they can supervise, support and coach their kids.