Anonymous wrote:No, not for a black tie wedding, sorry kid.

This. Time to grow up.

Anonymous wrote:Why not take this as an opportunity it's to teach your child about how to dress appropriately for the occasssion?

Lots of brides and bridal parties change into sneakers for the reception, so I think that’s totally acceptable. Maybe make a deal and let her pick a nice flat to wear for the ceremony and then to have on hand in case of other dressy occasions.

Why not take this as an opportunity it's to teach your child about how to dress appropriately for the occasssion?

Anonymous wrote:Strictly speaking a young teen shouldn’t be in a full length dress anyway. It’s age inappropriate, at least by old WASPy standards (like putting a toddler in a tux).

My 3 yr old nephew LOVES wearing his bowtie. He looks outrageously adorable in it. He's an excellent dancer and loves to toast people too - honestly, everyone should invite him to their wedding.

What SHOULD a young teen be in at a black tie wedding by old WASP standards?

I wore black sneakers to a wedding once when I hurt my foot. No one cared.

Get her a longer dress.

Easier than finding shoes that work for her

Strictly speaking a young teen shouldn’t be in a full length dress anyway. It’s age inappropriate, at least by old WASPy standards (like putting a toddler in a tux).

I think it’s fine if she’s under 15 or so.

My first move would probably be to buy a new gown that fits and covers her shoes so she can wear the shoes she wants.

Otherwise, I would force flats for the ceremony and let her change into whatever (clean) sneaker she wants for the reception.

I would not judge a 13 year old for this, but if you are worried what some of the more conservative family members will think, have her wear flats for the service and then switch into her high tops for the party. She won't be standing/walking much for the service anyway and even some brides switch into sneakers for the party now.
It might be fun to buy high tops that match the dress, too, if that's a color she likes anyway.

No, not for a black tie wedding, sorry kid.

Let her wear the sneakers. It is the uniform and if someone cares enough to be upset about it, let them.

Why don’t you just buy her a new formal dress that fits, wtf?

I went to a wedding this weekend and one of the teenagers had white high top paired with a homecoming type dress. I think it’s their standard uniform now.

Because the middle school dances and bar/bat mitzvahs all have fancy dresses paired with sneakers, my 13 year old expects to wear high top Converse to a family member's "black tie suggested" wedding.

Anyone have other suggestions that can work for a kid who has flat feet and weak ankles? All my suggestions have been vetoed as old fashioned and uncomfortable. Unfortunately a recent growth spurt means her long formal dress no longer hides her feet. Her second choice suggestion is combat boots. She really does benefit from the ankle support, which is hard to find in formal shoes.

If she were younger, I might give her a pass with immaculate sneakers. Now almost my height and reading adult from across the room, I feel like she should probably wear something nicer for at least the wedding and then maybe change at the reception. Heck, brides do that. Unfortunately this bride is very much not the type to do that herself.